How do I...

MikeF&SarahC

I posted this on the Dec. 2011 board as well

How do I tell my class I'm getting married.  I toyed with not telling them but little by little some of the parents are seeing my ring and asking.  Though I'm not getting married until the next school year I feel as though I need to tell my current class (they're 5th graders 10 & 11 yrs old).  I think some of them would be disappointed to hear about it next year.  Especially when they my FI as their math teacher!

The other part of the dilemma is that many of my parents are extremely wealthy (I teach at an international school) and I am concerned that they will try and get me stuff.  Which is why I've not yet told my class to avoid this.  Any suggestions on how to tell my students...

thesequel

My students saw my ring.  I had a parent congratulate me during PT interviews, but that is how it got "announced".

mica178

When I was a student, I think the school assistant headmaster announced upcoming teacher weddings, that way all the students got the news at the same time without gossip.

MikeF&SarahC

not telling them is not an option, as they will either hear it from me or through gossip and I'd rather they hear it from me.

bethsmiles

Not telling them is an option. I don't think they need to hear it from you. My fourth grade teacher got married, I heard it from my mom I think. I didn't care at all that I didn't hear it from her. It's not like it's something bad. Why does it matter if that's how they hear it?

DramaGeek

I have never understood "I don't discuss my personal life with my students."  I mean, obviously they don't need to know all the intimate details, but my students have met my husband, they love to hear stories about my dog or about the work I do with an adult theatre company (as opposed to our school theatre), etc.  I would not have the relationship I have with my students, nor would my program be as successful, if they knew nothing about me.

I'm not sure a big announcement is the way to go, though.  Have any of the kids brought it up?  I think I'd wait for a kid to bring it up and then confirm that yes, you will be getting married next year so that after that they'll need to remember to call you Mrs. X (making the assumption that you're changing your name).

thejessy

In high school, 2 teachers got married, and they were the favorites kind (I never had them) but the students loved it. Of course they are older than your students, but I think it would be a nice gesture to tell them.

I don't see why you shouldn't, you would tell the people you worked in an office if you were getting married, wouldn't you? At least with your students no one will be inviting themselves!

mm4662

I teach 5th grade also. One or two of my girl students noticed my ring and started to whisper to each other. So I just told my class that Mr. Tim asked me to marry him. They knew my fiance because he came in to speak about submarines.

My kiddos gave me a standing ovation. Haha, it was cute.

Just because they know doesn't mean you have to talk about it with the parents a lot. I have a few parents who ask me when I am getting married, where, etc. but I hardly see them so I doubt they would get me a gift.

I did get one gift from a student. Her mom had found my registry and sent it from her. It was sweet and I made sure my student knew how kind I thought it was.

tayylor65

I'd probably talk to the head of the elementary (or middle?) school.  See if he/she can make the announcement since your FI is the math teacher.  If your FI didn't work at the school too, I'd just say announce it to the class but do so in a very casual, not drawn out way.  I'd likely give them 5 minutes to ask questions too.  

I say this b/c I'm assuming you teach at a smaller school that's private.  I grew up going to a small school--13 other girls in my 5 grade class--and our teacher was beyond a teacher since she was with us all day aside from art/math/gym.  She didn't divulge us in personal details of her life but had she become engaged she would've talked to us about it.  Again though, oru school was a very small, tight-nit community and we were all girls so it wouldn't have been gossipy we would've just been really excited for her.

KellyS01

I got engaged over Christmas break and when my 4th grade class was talking about what they got for Christmas, they asked me what the best thing I got was.  I told them at that point that I had gotten engaged.  They are still super excited about it!  They want to be invited to the wedding...lol.  (not happening, by the way) 

I agree with PP, if I didn't share some of my personal life with my students, I wouldn't have the positive rapport that I do with my kids.  My kids love hearing stories about silly things that have happened and they like sharing theirs with me as well.  I set aside about 5 min. a day for this purpose.  Although I teach special education and so this is our social skill practice too.