Card box, is this ok?

arendiva

I went to a bridal expo with my mom a few weeks ago there was a really neat hatbox that had  a slot for people to slide their cards in. I thought it was a neat idea because then cards wouldn't get lost. it looked something like this


Now I hadn't really given it another thought until a few minutes ago when I followed someone's link to what a money tree was and I saw that they listed card boxes as an alternative. I was horrified. Are cardboxes a huge ettiquette faux pas? I wasn't thinking of them as gift grabby and money seeking but rather as a convenient way to carry and not lose cards that people bring to the wedding. Please tell me if other people perceive them differently than me because if people are going to see it as a solicitation for money I won't do it.

radleyboo

I think every single wedding I've ever attended has had a gift table with a card box/basket/birdcage/whatever.  I've never thought of them as tacky, as it is customary to give the happy couple 'something', whether it's a lovely gift or just a nice card.  Others may disagree, but I have no problem with this at all.

bunni727

Something to hold the cards is pretty necessary. That box is cute

I think the difference is that you aren't exactly asking for cards by having somewhere to keep them together: if someone brought a card, they already intend to give it to you. But its not like they could possibly see a card box and think "Hmm, I happen to have these cards in my bag. I should probably give some to them." 

Whereas with a money tree, you know it's likely that some of your guests do have cash on them, so you are directly asking for them to hand it over, if that makes any sense.

StephJean83

I agree with Radley, especially because this appears to be nice way to hold them all in and not have any fall out in transport. I don't really see it as gift grabby like the money tree, since I usually show up with a card for the happy couple at weddings I go to.

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_card-box-is-this-ok?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6c21f0e0-a319-4dd4-aca0-51921517d1a2Post:08e16f6d-eedb-4060-a84e-87bfb8cd0b40">Card box, is this ok?</a>:
[QUOTE]I went to a bridal expo with my mom a few weeks ago there was a really neat hatbox that had  a slot for people to slide their cards in. I thought it was a neat idea because then cards wouldn't get lost. it looked something like this Now I hadn't really given it another thought until a few minutes ago when I followed someone's link to what a money tree was and I saw that they listed card boxes as an alternative. I was horrified. Are cardboxes a huge ettiquette faux pas? I wasn't thinking of them as gift grabby and money seeking but rather as a convenient way to carry and not lose cards that people bring to the wedding. Please tell me if other people perceive them differently than me because if people are going to see it as a solicitation for money I won't do it.
Posted by arendiva[/QUOTE]

Cardboxes aren't tacky like money trees are.  People give cards, sometimes with money in them, sometimes, just the card.  the money tree says "Hey, give me your money".  The card box doesn't.

For what it's worth, I made my own card box, and also I also had little note cards printed that were left out next to the card box. The note card said "Please leave your thoughts and wishes for the happy couple".   We used the note cards as an alternative to a guest book. (see photo below)

So, people used our card box to put cards they brought as well as to put in the completed note cards.


<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/1/1/b13de4ef-fb51-418f-911a-d02703e37368.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/1/1/b13de4ef-fb51-418f-911a-d02703e37368.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

achiduck

We rented this <- clicky vintage cast iron mailbox that went beside the table that held physical gifts and our guest book. It went with our decor theme and was everyone commented how nice it was. Our DOC loved it too b/c it had a lock on the back and it was very secure. 

Note that we didn't rent that exact one but the same one from our local wedding rental company.

Jen4948

Well, the etiquette rule on gift tables and card boxes is that nobody is supposed to bring a gift to a wedding-you send it to the couple either before or after the wedding, so they're not supposed to be necessary.

That said, sometimes people do bring gifts and cards to weddings, and there needs to be someplace they can be kept that's secure.  So, I can accept gift tables and card boxes at weddings, provided the gifts and cards aren't opened as part of the festivities.  I know that some cultures do that, but I think that at a wedding of more than about 20 people, that could get very dull very fast, just like showers with too many guests.

KellyBrian2013

We had about 75 cards given to us by guests at on our wedding day, almost entirely with cash and/or checks. I can't imagine trying to keep track of all of them without a card box. The one pictured is very cute.

H and I made our own using boxes from Hobby Lobby that we spray painted with our wedding colors and decorated with coordinating ribbon. We cut out the tops/bottoms, stacked them, and hot glued them together with the hot glued on (so no one could open it and make off with its contents). And we cut a slit in the top one for people to drop the cards in. We also got two Ms from Hobby Lobby, painted them, trimmed them with ribbon, and glued them on the front. See below:


 

Oh, and the layers were a large round box on the bottom, a medium square box on top of that, a small round box on top of that, and a heart-shaped box on the very top. 

lauralaur

The difference to me is that with a money tree, guests can see me stick $20 on the tree and and can see Uncle George stick $500 on the tree, or that cousin Susan didn't put anything on the tree. Whereas with a cardbox, all anyone sees is that each of us put a card in the box. Then, once the card is in there, there's no "OMG luck how many cards the bridge and groom received!" Out of sight, out of mind.

Lisa50

I don't think cardboxes (bird cages, mailboxes, whatever) are tacky at all.  I'm not sure what other options would exist for collecting cards from well-wishers, other than the bride and groom (or someone else) collecting them during the reception.  Ugh!

The cardbox you've chosen as inspiration is very nice.  Our venue provided an antique bird cage; it worked well.

Benny618

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_card-box-is-this-ok?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6c21f0e0-a319-4dd4-aca0-51921517d1a2Post:08e16f6d-eedb-4060-a84e-87bfb8cd0b40">Card box, is this ok?</a>:
[QUOTE]I went to a bridal expo with my mom a few weeks ago there was a really neat hatbox that had  a slot for people to slide their cards in. I thought it was a neat idea because then cards wouldn't get lost. it looked something like this Now I hadn't really given it another thought until a few minutes ago when I followed someone's link to what a money tree was and I saw that they listed card boxes as an alternative. I was horrified. Are cardboxes a huge ettiquette faux pas? I wasn't thinking of them as gift grabby and money seeking but rather as a convenient way to carry and not lose cards that people bring to the wedding. Please tell me if other people perceive them differently than me because if people are going to see it as a solicitation for money I won't do it.
Posted by arendiva[/QUOTE]

I seem to be one of the minority who thinks card boxes are very tacky, but I just do...  I do not want to make this a cultural thing, but I have been to mostly Jewish weddings and have never been to a Jewish wedding where someone had a card box.  I've only ever seen them at the few non Jewish weddings that I have been to.  At least in my circle of friends and family, card boxes are viewed as gift grabby and tacky.  My brother is marrying a girl who is not Jewish, and my mom is (privately) embarassed that my future SIL plans on having a card box, as we know the Jewish guests will side eye it.  Again, this may just be the Jewish friends and family in my circle, but I will not be having a card box at my wedding because I do agree that it's gift grabby.

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_card-box-is-this-ok?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6c21f0e0-a319-4dd4-aca0-51921517d1a2Post:69e5e791-68d0-4684-9423-86ac93fa0079">Re: Card box, is this ok?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Card box, is this ok? : I seem to be one of the minority who thinks card boxes are very tacky, but I just do...  I do not want to make this a cultural thing, but I have been to mostly Jewish weddings and have never been to a Jewish wedding where someone had a card box.  I've only ever seen them at the few non Jewish weddings that I have been to.  At least in my circle of friends and family, card boxes are viewed as gift grabby and tacky.  My brother is marrying a girl who is not Jewish, and my mom is (privately) embarassed that my future SIL plans on having a card box, as we know the Jewish guests will side eye it.  Again, this may just be the Jewish friends and family in my circle, but I will not be having a card box at my wedding because I do agree that it's gift grabby.
Posted by Benny618[/QUOTE]


Hmmm. Interesting.  Maybe it's a geographic or family thing. I have been to Jewish weddings, and they all had some sort of card box/basket on a gift table.