Shower etiquette

JHOWARTH

My question is what to do when the MOG sends a list to the hostess of my shower that has a lot of people on it who are not invited to the wedding?  The MOG wants to have a bigger wedding than my FI and I do, so I think she's trying to push the point.  Any ideas how to handle this situation?  Thanks!

specialk84

Tell the hostess to disregard your FMIL's list. You should ask her how many people she's comfortable hosting, then YOU provide the list.

Loopyseven

Special is right.  You should be working with the hostess to finalize the guest list for your shower.  your FMIL shouldn't have anything to do with it.

ETA: if you have a good relationship with your FMIL, let her know that some of the people on her list weren't invited to the wedding and so you didn't think it was appropriate to invite them to the shower and you worked with the hostess to make sure everyone invited to the shower was also invited to the wedding. - If you don't have a good relationship with her, have your FI talk to her - but the message is the same.

kimiandgary

My FMIL said she wanted to invite some of her friends to the shower, but didn't want us to invite them to the wedding. (We are in OR but the wedding is in CA). I calmly informed her that if she would like to invite them to the shower they need to be invited to the wedding as well. I know its kind of the opposite of yours, but FMIL don't get to pick shower guests for a shower they aren't hosting.

Its rude to invite them to a shower and not the wedding. Put your foot down. Maybe present it as though you are trying to help her look more polite. 

megacoug

Thanks ladies!