Guest inviting people?

cassiehough24

Someone in my fiancee's family took it upon themself to invite about 9 extra people. We made it clear to everyone that we were on a budget and only the people who the invitations were addressed to were invited (plus their SO). She informed me 3 days after the responses were due that she invited all these people but they PROBABLY would not make it. First, they were not invited, period. Second, what makes her think it was okay for her to take matters into her own hands. Third, we really don't have room and can't afford these extra people that we barely even know! How should I handle someone like this without hurting their feelings?

Katelyn89

Who is the someone that invited them? I would find it really weird to be invited to a wedding by word of mouth and not from the bride or groom and wouldn't go. Were the guests that were invited planning on attending? It is definitely not okay to just invite people to someone else's wedding.

[Deleted User]

If you're asking how to handle HER, I'd just tell her to stop inviting people and to let people know that she DID invite that she was mistaken. I mean, what did you say when she told you that she did this? This isn't your problem to fix. There won't be places and food for these people when they show up--and this family member is going to look dumb, not you.

cassiehough24

It is a family member, although not a "close" family member. We see her maybe once a year. In no way did we ever mention that she could invite all these extra people. When she mentioned it to me I didn't get a chance to say anything because she just kept talking. She did say that they probably wouldn't make it, but I'm just frustrated that she thought it was okay to invite them in the first place. If she says anything else about it, I guess I will just have to tell her straight that we have no more space.

kipnus

I wouldn't worry about hurting her feelings--that was just plain inappropriate behaviour on her part! She will have to fix things and "uninvite" her guests.

Cortney1982

If you truly cannot afford it or don't want them there tell this person that is inviting people that you cannot accomodate any people you did not send an invite to.  What makes she think it is her place to invite people to a party she is not hosting or paying for???

We have 1 uninvited guest.  FI's dad told us last week his girlfriend will be bringing her daughter.  So FI said okay only because you cannot leave a child behind when you are traveling.  Turns out this girl is 21 and invited herself.  And now we are short one chair cover/sash.  I think she will be quite dissapointed after she realizes this is a dry wedding and we have no DJ and will be over by 8pm!  

cassiehough24

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-inviting-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6c4ed6ce-cdec-415e-b9ed-00310c8dd24bPost:9dc3f5cb-6c8b-4674-b72c-b30f0341f095">Re: Guest inviting people?</a>:
[QUOTE]If you truly cannot afford it or don't want them there tell this person that is inviting people that you cannot accomodate any people you did not send an invite to.  What makes she think it is her place to invite people to a party she is not hosting or paying for??? We have 1 uninvited guest.  FI's dad told us last week his girlfriend will be bringing her daughter.  So FI said okay only because you cannot leave a child behind when you are traveling.  Turns out this girl is 21 and invited herself.  And now we are short one chair cover/sash.  I think she will be quite dissapointed after she realizes this is a dry wedding and we have no DJ and will be over by 8pm!  
Posted by Cortney1982[/QUOTE]

<div>I do agree, children should be invited... BUT at 21, no, definately not a child anymore. I hope you end up finding that extra cover/sash. If not, let her sit there! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" /></div>

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

"So sorry, aunt Kathy, but you'll have to let these people know that a mistake was made, as we can't accomodate any more guests."

Also, have a seating chart/escort cards, if you aren't already planning on it. It will become obvious there are no seats for these people if they do show up, and it's not your fault or problem.

kmmssg

Let her know in very clear terms that there will be no seats and no meals for these people. Who does this crap?