Wedding Etiquette Forum

I might strangle my FI...

So it was a long fricken day at work, I'm tired, I have a headache, I'm in a pissy mood, and I'm finally home for the night.

FI gets on the phone with his step-cousin. I overhear this side of his conversation. "Oh. Hmm. I don't know if your mom was invited. Hang on, let me check the list. ... No, no. I don't see her on here. No. I totally agree. She should have been invited. Definitely. Oh yeah, give me her address. Yeah. I don't know why she wasn't invited. I haven't really been involved in the wedding, AK has been doing it all. Yeah. Yeah. OK. I'll ask her."

FI gets off the phone and immediately gets the "YOU TOLD ME YOU WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH PLANNING THIS WEDDING SO STOP FUUCKING GETTING YOURSELF INVOLVED WHEN DECISIONS HAVE ALREADY BEEN MADE WITHOUT YOU" speech... along with the "THE NEXT TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU ANYTHING ABOUT THE WEDDING, JUST TELL THEM TO TALK TO ME" speech (which is not the first time I've had to tell him this).

Then I made him call his step-cousin back and explain that her mother wasn't invited and we're very sorry.

Hopefully he learned his damn lesson now. Ugh. I need another beer.

Re: I might strangle my FI...

  • 99 bottles of beer on the wall 99 bottles of beer!
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  • Hehe. 98.... 97.... 96....
  • I recommend a Summer Shandy!

    I'm sorry he's acting like that. If he wanted them to come he should have said so!
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  • You should have saved you voice and just stangled him. Just kidding ;)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-strangle-fi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6eac9728-4216-4e6a-85d2-95834b5a2a35Post:cb02ff95-d43d-4ce2-97e8-8dedb41dca4e">Re: I might strangle my FI...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I recommend a Summer Shandy! I'm sorry he's acting like that. If he wanted them to come he should have said so!
    Posted by btrflykate1230[/QUOTE]
    Yum.  One of my favorite summer associations.  Hmmm now I want one.
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  • I love me some summer shandy. I also love Landshark. FINS TO THE LEFT FIIIIINS TO THE RIGHT!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-strangle-fi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6eac9728-4216-4e6a-85d2-95834b5a2a35Post:8b34a248-9eda-41cc-8809-91d21544dd9e">I might strangle my FI...</a>:
    [QUOTE]So it was a long fricken day at work, I'm tired, I have a headache, I'm in a pissy mood, and I'm finally home for the night. FI gets on the phone with his step-cousin. I overhear this side of his conversation. "Oh. Hmm. I don't know if your mom was invited. Hang on, let me check the list. ... No, no. I don't see her on here. No. I totally agree. She should have been invited. Definitely. Oh yeah, give me her address. Yeah. I don't know why she wasn't invited. I haven't really been involved in the wedding, AK has been doing it all. Yeah. Yeah. OK. I'll ask her." FI gets off the phone and immediately gets the "YOU TOLD ME YOU WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH PLANNING THIS WEDDING SO STOP FUUCKING GETTING YOURSELF INVOLVED WHEN DECISIONS HAVE ALREADY BEEN MADE WITHOUT YOU" speech... along with the "THE NEXT TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU ANYTHING ABOUT THE WEDDING, JUST TELL THEM TO TALK TO ME" speech (which is not the first time I've had to tell him this). Then I made him call his step-cousin back and explain that her mother wasn't invited and we're very sorry. Hopefully he learned his damn lesson now. Ugh. I need another beer.
    Posted by akhensley81[/QUOTE]

    I am the only one who thinks you were kind of out of line on this one? You can't reneg an invite.
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  • edited July 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-strangle-fi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6eac9728-4216-4e6a-85d2-95834b5a2a35Post:db566b57-58bd-446e-95f3-2c30ffbf5eb9">Re: I might strangle my FI...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to I might strangle my FI... : I am the only one who thinks you were kind of out of line on this one? You can't reneg an invite.
    Posted by brookelynpaisley[/QUOTE]
    Eh technically they hadn't invited her YET...just told the cousin that they would.

    Hey, I'm joining yall with a cold Oberon. In my wedding dress (I literally just brought it home and I had to put it on :P).
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-strangle-fi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6eac9728-4216-4e6a-85d2-95834b5a2a35Post:db566b57-58bd-446e-95f3-2c30ffbf5eb9">Re: I might strangle my FI...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to I might strangle my FI... : I am the only one who thinks you were kind of out of line on this one? You can't reneg an invite.
    Posted by brookelynpaisley[/QUOTE]

    But she hadn't been invited.  Unless the step-cousin relayed the statement to her mother in the time it took OP and FI to have this conversation, I guess.
    Married 10/2/10
  • I agree with brookelyn you were out of line for yelling at him. It is HIS family granted he should of said "Let me ask Ak & I'll call you back" but you still didn't need to yell at him about stop getting himself fucking involved in the wedding. Again his family & also his wedding. I feel bad for your FI here honestly
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-strangle-fi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6eac9728-4216-4e6a-85d2-95834b5a2a35Post:2323634d-b950-4fbd-a135-a2f9ed04ee84">Re: I might strangle my FI...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with brookelyn you were out of line for yelling at him. It is HIS family granted he should of said "Let me ask Ak & I'll call you back" but you still didn't need to yell at him about stop getting himself fucking involved in the wedding. Again his family & also his wedding. I feel bad for your FI here honestly
    Posted by Midgetth[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this.  I think your reaction was absolutely ridiculous, and if I were your FI I'd have some choice words to yell right back at you.  It's not just YOUR wedding, it's also his wedding.
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  • 1) Cousin should not be demanding invites.
    2) Your fiance should not say "I am totally not involved in this" and then tell people they should have been invited and essentially blame you for it.
    3) It is HIS wedding too...so maybe yelling wasn't the best tactic, but honestly I don't know if I wouldn't have done the same thing since he basically threw you under the bus like that.
    4) It is still YOUR wedding too...so he should not be adding people to the guest list without consulting you first.

    There we go...
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  • Ooooh, Oberon. Definitely one of my faves!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-strangle-fi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6eac9728-4216-4e6a-85d2-95834b5a2a35Post:868e84a0-f919-4e93-a804-11ed30eed045">Re: I might strangle my FI...</a>:
    [QUOTE]1) Cousin should not be demanding invites. 2) Your fiance should not say "I am totally not involved in this" and then tell people they should have been invited and essentially blame you for it. 3) It is HIS wedding too...so maybe yelling wasn't the best tactic, but honestly I don't know if I wouldn't have done the same thing since he basically threw you under the bus like that. 4) It is still YOUR wedding too...so he should not be adding people to the guest list without consulting you first. There we go...
    Posted by Manwaithiel[/QUOTE]

    This. :) Every word of it.

    I was sooo frazzled yesterday from it just being a long stupid day, and then he did this. I did apologize for yelling at him and explained that I'm just terrified this guest list is going to get out of hand.
  • I just had this problem the other day with one of FI's groomsmen calling about his sister and her boyfriend being invited.  Actually he called asking how they should RSVP for the wedding since they never got their invitation.  Hello, that means they weren't freaking invited then!!  So luckily FI says, I'm sorry we couldn't invite them.  Then GM and GM's mother basically guilted him into adding her by saying "oh we all thought she was invited she was planning on coming."  So then FI says you're right she should have been invited, just add her to your response card.  I lost it. 

    Same issue here, he barely had looked over the guest list since he didn't want to take the time to think if there was anyone else, and now 2 weeks before the wedding he gets guilted into adding 2 people.  I basically said the exact same thing, if anyone else calls you give them my number and I'll tell them that no they aren't invited.  Seriously, its 2 weeks out and the response cards are due today, you should know by now that you weren't invited.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-strangle-fi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6eac9728-4216-4e6a-85d2-95834b5a2a35Post:5efdd87b-bec0-477e-8847-ed0a9ca7262b">Re: I might strangle my FI...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I just had this problem the other day with one of FI's groomsmen calling about his sister and her boyfriend being invited.  Actually he called asking how they should RSVP for the wedding since they never got their invitation.  Hello, that means they weren't freaking invited then!!  So luckily FI says, I'm sorry we couldn't invite them.  Then GM and GM's mother basically guilted him into adding her by saying "oh we all thought she was invited she was planning on coming."  So then FI says you're right she should have been invited, just add her to your response card.  I lost it.  Same issue here, he barely had looked over the guest list since he didn't want to take the time to think if there was anyone else, and now 2 weeks before the wedding he gets guilted into adding 2 people.  I basically said the exact same thing, if anyone else calls you give them my number and I'll tell them that no they aren't invited.  Seriously, its 2 weeks out and the response cards are due today, you should know by now that you weren't invited.
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

    I'm glad I'm not the only one!

    I will say, in FI's defense, that he had absolutely no clue what he was doing and once I (calmed down and) explained it to him, he jumped right on board. "Oh! I guess I never thought of it that way!"

    He did agree to just defer to me if anything else comes up. It will be easier for both of us. :)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-strangle-fi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6eac9728-4216-4e6a-85d2-95834b5a2a35Post:d21aa354-6b65-489f-83aa-b556bc42712d">Re: I might strangle my FI...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I might strangle my FI... : This. :) Every word of it. I was sooo frazzled yesterday from it just being a long stupid day, and then he did this. I did apologize for yelling at him and explained that I'm just terrified this guest list is going to get out of hand.
    Posted by akhensley81[/QUOTE]

    It sounds like it was just a day. =)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_might-strangle-fi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6eac9728-4216-4e6a-85d2-95834b5a2a35Post:d4b93dd7-6014-4a1f-b859-50d3b1176f14">Re: I might strangle my FI...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I might strangle my FI... : It sounds like it was just a day. =)
    Posted by Manwaithiel[/QUOTE]

    Haha, yes... yes it was. As my MOH said last night, "Well, don't you sound like a bride who's 6 weeks out from her wedding?" Oy.
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