Wedding Etiquette Forum

RSVP Response included someone not invited

Help!!

I sent out an invitation to my aunt and uncle and they RSVP'ed for themselves and for my cousin who was not on the invitation.  My cousin was deliberately not invited because space is tight and she has been somewhat intentionally distanced from family because of problems she has been causing.  I left her off because I didn't want to cause drama or have a scene.  I explained why to my mother and grandmother and they agreed.   I am not very close with my aunt and uncle, how can I discuss this with them in a polite way??

Re: RSVP Response included someone not invited

  • You call them up and explain that due to space and budget contraints, the invitation was only for the aunt and uncle and you can't accomodate any additional guests.  You hope that they'll still be able to attend.

    Just out of curiosity, how old is this cousin and does she still live with her parents?
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  • I have to agree - Call them and beg off on the space/budget restrictions. If they attempt to guilt you or say they can't attend without her, politely let them know you'll miss them.  No one is required to attend a wedding - and you are not required to invite anyone you don't want to.

    Try not to get wrapped up in feeling guilty about doing this - If being a strong, confident woman was easy, everyone would do it! 
    Smile

    Good luck!
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  • wow awkward!.... good advice in previous posts.

    i can't imagine what your aunt and uncle were thinking.  
  • Thanks for the great advice!!  She is 18 and previously had dropped out of high school and moved across the country.  She just recently moved back but has still been causing trouble.

    Hopefully they will be understanding, I can't imagine what they were thinking either!!
  • i agree call them and explain. don't give in! i had a cousin cross out the number of seats i reserved for him to add one and then never show up.
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  • Oh Good, so it's not a "we can't find a babysitter" issue.

    At 18, if she was intended to be invited, you would have sent her a separate invitation.
    Aunt and Uncle are in the wrong here, not you.
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  • I wonder if they're dragging her along to keep an eye on her if she's a trouble maker.  Not that it makes it okay for them to add her on - just wondering about their reasoning.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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  • As a cousin, I wasn't invited to my cousin's wedding because of budget constraints.  I was fine with it.  My aunt explained to my Mom and it was just fine.  I'd just call them up and explain.
    Our Wedding Day
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