Need help with invitation wording

MellyMel15

Hi,
This is my first time posting on here. My fiance and I need help with the wording for our wedding invitation. My parents are paying for a majority of the wedding and doing all of the planning while his parents are contributing a smaller chunk. He and I had initially agreed to put both sets of parents' names at the top, but now my parents have decided they do not want my fiance's parents' names up top. They said his parents could still get a contributing line that says "son of Mr. and Mrs. Blah Blah." My fiance thinks this is wrong and thinks his parents still belong up top. I've talked with a lot of friends about this and some say my parents are right, but others say his parents have an equal right to be at the top because his parents are also hosting in a way (by contributing some money even if it is a smaller amount). I am so confused and everyone is angry and hurt. My fiance had already told his mom her and her husband's name will also be up top, so it would be embarassing to back track now. HELP!

danieliza1127

That really sucks that everyone is being so difficult about something as silly as the wedding invitation.  Maybe if you show this to your parents, it will help?  Maybe you can all decide on one of these options.

http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-invitations/articles/formal-wedding-invitation-wording-both-sets-parents-hosting.aspx

http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-invitations/articles/formal-wedding-invitation-wording-everyone-hosting.aspx

MellyMel15

Thanks. Those examples are similar to what I had read to my parents and they're still not going for it. Again, they think my fiance's parents have not done enough (planning or money-wise) to earn co-hosting credit. I don't subscribe to that same train of thought, but that's what they believe.

squirrly

"He who pays says" is sort of the bottom line here, I think.  However - if you have time to wait, I think you should let the issue cool off and revisit it.  Remind your parents that hosting =/= paying.  (Hosting is greeting guests, making decisions, interfacing with the staff if necessary, etc.  Paying is forking over cash, and that's it.)

Remind your parents, also, that his parents made a pretty big contribution - your groom!  Perhaps you can convince them that the wedding is about joining together, not about who gets credit for the linens. 

If that doesn't work - save money until you can host your own wedding. 

MellyMel15

Thanks for the responses. The wedding is in October, though, so we have to get moving on the invitations.

akhensley81

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-invitation-wording-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7006684e-8053-4860-bced-01dff6e64f92Post:9c3836c8-2277-40d2-88e4-4f8fcfeb05d7">Re: Need help with invitation wording</a>:
[QUOTE]"He who pays says" is sort of the bottom line here, I think.  However - if you have time to wait, I think you should let the issue cool off and revisit it.  Remind your parents that hosting =/= paying.  (Hosting is greeting guests, making decisions, interfacing with the staff if necessary, etc.  Paying is forking over cash, and that's it.) <strong>Remind your parents, also, that his parents made a pretty big contribution - your groom!</strong>  Perhaps you can convince them that the wedding is about joining together, not about who gets credit for the linens.  If that doesn't work - save money until you can host your own wedding. 
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]

This. I agree with PPs though... since you have a few months, maybe let this cool off for a few weeks and then revisit it. Take the time to do some serious research (TK and other sites) and pick out a few options that YOU think are reasonable. Don't share them with anyone else, until you're ready to talk about it again.