Callouts

squirrly

Guys, we can't control tumblr or the person who is posting those secrets.  The only thing we can control is US.  So - please stop sending in secrets.  If you've got a positive one you want to send in, maybe we can talk Arb into posting those on the regular KPS site.  If not, maybe somebody with a conscience and a spine like Arb will undertake the effort to screen out the negative stuff.  OR, we can do a thread once a week and contribute them, like FFF. 

As for deleteing references to the site from the board, there are any number of rules that would permit Dani & myself to do so, for the overall "health & safety" of our community here.  I have hesitated to do so, because historically E pushes the limits, and that's what we've come to expect/accept.  It's not a puppies and rainbows board.  But, I think this has gone too far, and that censoring, for lack of a better word, might be worthwhile.

So, here's what I propose -- no new posts on the subject.  I will delete any entries in existing ones that seem too over the top, and I will close posts if necessary.  But no new threads on the site or its contents after this.  And no references in other posts, either.  No FFF about people sending in rebuttals.  Nada.  Ignore it. 

I hate censorship.  I really do.  But I care way more about you all and this has gotten entirely too out of hand.  So, I'd appreciate your help in self-policing the issue.  But until we really, truly ignore it, it won't go away.  So, I'll delete what I have to.

Deal?

Stackeye210

Deal.  Thank you Squirrly.  I think it's necessary.

kikibaby

I'm in.  It's really crossed a line and I don't want to see anyone else hurt.  I'm almost in tears about P2's.

[Deleted User]

I like your plan.

louisvillebride21

I really, really hope this works. Good job, Mod.

Bubbalub

I'm all for it. It's not like people can't talk about the stupid site somewhere else. I'd be happy not to see it here again, though.

vallyhoo

Fist Pump

btrflykate1230

Deal. It's gotten way out of hand. I can't believe someone would be so heartless and mean to P2, Amoro, Mery, and all the others that were hurt by the callout site. There's no way anyone here said something that bad to warrant those kinds of attack.

georgia_bride09

Aye aye, Bosslady! ::salutes::

mica178

Good plan

wadingmoose

Sounds like a plan.

louisvillebride21

And I'd like to suggest that when newbs ask what it is (if someone slips up and references it) that they are totally ignored, or at least told not to worry about it. The less its spread, the better. Although it feels like trying to get the horse back in the barn at this point.

squirrly

I really want you all to understand how TOUGH a choice this is for me - I despise the idea of the site, but I despise the idea of deleting posts even more, in concept.  But the comments from you all about not feeling safe to post here anymore make it apparent to me that it's not really a choice; it's my responsibility. 

The more you all help by not posting, the easier it will be.  So please - don't sumbit, and don't discuss here.

LesPaul

Gook plan, Squirrly.  It has to stop.

mandapanda78

I'll drink to that! Of course, I'll drink to anything...

squirrly

For Newbs:  If we don't discuss it at all, they won't know to ask.   

kikibaby

You're going to be the best mom ever, squirrly.

squirrly

Kiki, my sorority sisters called me mom starting about 12 years ago.  This is surprisingly similar.  Only now I'm cleaning up verbal vomit instead of













their finances. 

mandysmear

That's fine by me. 

ohwhynot

I like the idea.


A small part of me doesn't want this, only because the threads were people pile on and goof off about the posts are kind of amusing.   The "just how evil IS Amoro" thread was funny.   I thought it was good to take the piss out of the posters. 


But, on balance, I do think it's better to just ignore, ignore, ignore.  Thanks, Squirrly & Dani.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I feel like discussing the P2 one today was productive. It was good for Jaime to see that we all support her and think she's an awesome, compassionate person. I can envision a scenario where someone finds a post about them and really wants/needs to come here and cry about it with us. So that's my ONLY reservation about a complete ban on the topic.

But otherwise I agree. I do with the site would die. I don't want anyone to leave TK because of it.

squirrly

OWN, I know.  That's part of what I hate about it too.  I'm at a loss for how else to rectify this.  I'm open to any and all ideas, though. 

WildRumpus

Thumbs up

alixzafiris

I'm with OWN on this actually. I don't think censoring it is right, we're not schoolchildren around here (least I certainly hope not, or else my old man asss is seriously violating parole...) and I don't think we should be "not allowed" to talk about a topic that could have a wide variety of threads stem from it (ie: the initial lovefest or the jokey threads) but I think the best thing to do is just to collectively be the bigger person and stop sending in hateful tripe as a whole.

And for the record, (sorry, I'm bringing it up) there was not one flaming word misspelled in my damn post. But thanks for trying.

kikibaby

But if everyone uses a little willpower and doesn't visit it, there won't be any need to discuss them or make people feel better.

PharmacyBride

I hated the idea about the site when I first heard about it.  I don't like the idea of spending time trying to make someone else feel bad.

The one thing I can't understand is how it is different from FFF.  FFF may not be anonymous, but it seems the same group of people always participate in FFF.  If someone wanted to say something (ie. newbie) they are really going to be up against a lot of people.. so newbies don't post on FFF.

I was SHOCKED when I saw how many call outs there were.  I was busy with my sister's wedding this weekend (It was a BLAST, btw) and it took me forever to catch up and read the multiple pages.. and it was only a week old site.  I think the frequency of use says a lot about the situation!!!

Personally, I think the callouts are a backlash of FFF.  If FFF never existed.. I don't believe callouts would either.  If you want to censor callouts (as a MOD) I think you should also eliminate FFF.  (I really only see the difference as people who want to post in FFF know they will be ganged up on so they use callouts instead.)

Flame me.. call me out... I just really wanted to say that out loud : )

Meg1979

Agreed.  So much bitterness out there. 

AmoroAgain

I normally would say taking the piss out of them is the best way, but how do you take the piss out of someone who says something like that?  You just can't.  I'd actually decided last night to not look any longer.  I wholeheartedly believe that there is a very small group of people with axes to gring who have started and contributed almost everything to that site, and once it stops getting attention, they'll move on to something else.

georgia_bride09

[QUOTE]But if everyone uses a little willpower and doesn't visit it, there won't be any need to discuss them or make people feel better.
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

This is how I feel about it as well.

alixzafiris

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_callouts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:70e1c85d-69fc-485a-9827-7c5103ab485aPost:9aaace6c-7a4b-411d-b7c9-a177462f03ee">Re: Callouts</a>:
[QUOTE]This is how I feel about it as well.
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

Me too.

And Momo, I agree wholeheartedly about it being a small group of angry, immature women being behind 90% of them. I say we all just ignore it and it'll die down... you know, like you do with the special crazy squeegee people?

beatlesgirl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_callouts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:70e1c85d-69fc-485a-9827-7c5103ab485aPost:390668ee-6507-422d-8bbf-0618aec993df">Re: Callouts</a>:
[QUOTE]I hated the idea about the site when I first heard about it.  I don't like the idea of spending time trying to make someone else feel bad. The one thing I can't understand is how it is different from FFF.  FFF may not be anonymous, but it seems the same group of people always participate in FFF.  If someone wanted to say something (ie. newbie) they are really going to be up against a lot of people.. so newbies don't post on FFF. I was SHOCKED when I saw how many call outs there were.  I was busy with my sister's wedding this weekend (It was a BLAST, btw) and it took me forever to catch up and read the multiple pages.. and it was only a week old site.  I think the frequency of use says a lot about the situation!!! Personally, I think the callouts are a backlash of FFF.  If FFF never existed.. I don't believe callouts would either.  If you want to censor callouts (as a MOD) I think you should also eliminate FFF.  (I really only see the difference as people who want to post in FFF know they will be ganged up on so they use callouts instead.) Flame me.. call me out... I just really wanted to say that out loud : )
Posted by PharmacyBride[/QUOTE]

Well said. Though I don't think the the callout site is <em>solely </em>in response to FFF, but perhaps flames of that nature that occur on all boards. I could see that. That said, the negative ones make me sick and sad to read them.