Decisions, Decisions...

jackman513

Before I start, let me say that I may or may not be overdramatic about this but it is really bothering me... lol I welcome brutally honest opinions!

I recently became engaged on Christmas Eve (cliche, I know) and have been researching wedding venues ever since. I found one that I absolutely fell in love with about 2 hours away from where we live, and even drove to their city's bridal show to meet the coordinator from that venue. We exchanged emails for a couple of months and this past Saturday, my mother and I went to actually look at the venue. We fell in love to say the least, however, there were many downfalls to the property that we didn't take into account (long story short, it would end up being WAY more than our budget, the ceremony site is impossible to get to except by golf cart, etc.) I'm sure you're probably thinking, "look somewhere else stupid! Just get married in town somewhere!" But let me say that the entire state I live in is a crap hole and there are no decent wedding venues around. Let me also state that over half of the bridal party will be travelling from many states away to be in this wedding and most of them will have a guest and/or family with them. With that being said, the location has a lodge for the bridal party... but it's to accomodate the bridal party, not their guests. So this would also put everyone in a bind to not only travel hours but to stay in a hotel room, away from the rest of their family for a whole weekend. The whole thing has just become completely unrealisitc and I feel like my perfect wedding dream has been shattered!

My fiance would love nothing more than to go to Sandals and get married by ourselves and just stay there for a week.... this sounds great and I have looked into it but, honestly, I want my family there when I get married... at least my mom and dad. They can't afford to go to Sandals ! So then I start thinking, what if we just had a small, beach wedding in Florida or somewhere similar? That way it's a compromise and whomever wants to come can come (who wouldn't enjoy a weekend get-away to the beach?) This would also solve my problem of my crappy MOH and similar bridesmaid. They have been my best friends for over 10 years but have proven to be unreliable as a friend numerous times over the years (I guess I felt obligated to choose them in my bridal party?) Instead of facing the awkwardness of booting them out of my wedding, I could just say, "Screw it, no one is in the wedding, we're going to the beach and if you'd like to come that's cool!)

Overdramatic, I know. I guess my question is, what should I do? Should have a traditional wedding and run the risk of being stressed/broke/killing someone or should I just elope with my fiance to Sandals? How about a happy medium? What would you do??

NOLAbridealmost

I think destination weddings are a great option. 

There are other all inclusives (AIs) that are less pricey than Sandals: Secrets, Couples, and the Royal in Cancun all come to mind.

Places like Destin, Biloxi, Mobile, etc. are also probably a lot cheaper than Sandals. 

The honeymoon board and destination weddings boards might be very helpful. 

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Ilovethelaw07

West Virginia is gorgeous, not a crap hole.

sweetcanadian1979

Make it easiest on everyone, do not pick the location that people can not get to. Also do not kick out your "crappy" MOH & bm, that is ignorant. You said they have been unreliable for years but you felt obligated to give them these titles, that is your problem, not theirs. If you want to go to the beach you should not demote them, just go to the beach. 

bunni727

OP, what part of WV are you from? I might be able to help a bit if i knew general area.

jackman513

For someone who has lived by the beach their whole life, yes, WV is a crap hole to me. That's my opinion and you are free to yours, but that's not the advice I was looking for. Thanks.

Also, I agree that it was my decision to give those titles to my unreliable friends so that is something that I will have to deal with, however I do not think that the wedding should be about pleasing everyone else, it's for my fiance and I. If people want to come, they can come, if not, that's cool too, but I would like to keep it realistic so those that DO decide to come, don't have to break the bank or be completely inconvenienced.

For a website to have a blog that is intended to help fellow brides, there sure is a lot of rude people that have negative things to say. I appreciate honesty but there is a fine line between being helpful and being rude.

jackman513

bunni- we are currently in the Huntington/Barboursville area.

Ilovethelaw07

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_decisions-decisions-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:75959138-c890-4c49-8a35-f1f35cd4e440Post:fa475ce9-7d72-40fb-9695-0c10a39ffe84">Re: Decisions, Decisions...</a>:
[QUOTE]For someone who has lived by the beach their whole life, yes, WV is a crap hole to me. That's my opinion and you are free to yours, but that's not the advice I was looking for. Thanks. Also, I agree that it was my decision to give those titles to my unreliable friends so that is something that I will have to deal with, however I do not think that the wedding should be about pleasing everyone else, it's for my fiance and I. If people want to come, they can come, if not, that's cool too, but I would like to keep it realistic so those that DO decide to come, don't have to break the bank or be completely inconvenienced. For a website to have a blog that is intended to help fellow brides, there sure is a lot of rude people that have negative things to say. I appreciate honesty but there is a fine line between being helpful and being rude.
Posted by jackman513[/QUOTE]

OP no one was rude to you.  Frankly, I think you've been treated quite well, considering how nasty your OP reads.  If WV isn't good enough for your wedding, by all means go to the beach.  Maybe your "crappy" bridal party will decide not to make the trip, so you won't have to worry about them.  If you do decide to get married in WV there is no way you can't find an acceptable outdoor location.  Pick up the latest issue of WV Weddings, which has a ton of great info on venues and vendors.

bunni727

I vote happy medium, always.

Hmm, this place is gorgeous, but sounds like it might be too small:
http://www.facebook.com/huntingtonhouse
 
Have you looked at the Greenbrier? It's a little farther than 2hrs, but yeager airport may be closer to it, and more convienient to those guests who will fly.

Also, I'd check out the Ashland, KY area. There is a beautiful historic home up there with really nice grounds, but I can't for the life of me remember what it is.

I know, not answering your direct question, but you asked what we'd do, and I'd find somewhere closer to where I, and a number of guests, live. Just easier to plan that way, and probably easier on your budget.

wowand135

What about  choosing another venue closer to you? I know you said they're all bad, but if you do that you could save money on the venu (you should not spend above your budget) and use any extra to make it really nice with docorations, etc. 

Also how many people were you planning to invite? Having to take a golf cart may be inconvenient for some people so maybe this place isn't quite as great as it may seem overall. You did say it had many downfalls...

You could also look around to see if any of your family/friends have beautiful backyards you could use.