Bridesmaid dropout?

damaless

So, one of my bridesmaids is kind of MIA and I haven't been able to get in touch with her (she moved and has a new number which I don't have) for the past few months.  Last I heard from her she still needed to confirm with work that she could get the time off to go to the wedding.  The bridesmaids dresses were ordered before she told me this and she already put down the deposit on her dress.  If it turns out that she can't make it, whose responsibility is the dress deposit?  Is it expected that I compensate her for it?

georgia_bride09

Is she chooses not to be in the wedding, that's her choice, and you don't have to pay her back.

CLSchramm

You should probably try to get ahold of her. It's not rude, you just need to know if she's still standing up for you. And, if you have the money to pay her back the deposit it would probably be a nice gesture, but it's not a requirement. She's the one who backed out/can't come/etc.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-dropout?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:75c8619f-dfaa-4ace-bdaf-c2f73e64a811Post:3670c5a7-492a-418e-8c48-ba5c3722b3a4">Bridesmaid dropout?</a>:
[QUOTE]So, one of my bridesmaids is kind of MIA and I haven't been able to get in touch with her (she moved and has a new number which I don't have) for the past few months.  Last I heard from her she still needed to confirm with work that she could get the time off to go to the wedding.  The bridesmaids dresses were ordered before she told me this and she already put down the deposit on her dress.  If it turns out that she can't make it, whose responsibility is the dress deposit?  Is it expected that I compensate her for it?
Posted by damaless[/QUOTE]
She can work it out with the dress shop if she is the one that has to drop out due to work.

damaless

I have been trying to get a hold of her, but she is really busy with a new city, new house, new job, baby on the way, etc.  I'm trying to get her number through another of my bridesmaids.  Meanwhile I just sent her a facebook message a couple weeks ago asking if she has any updates about the work situation and whether she can come.  I'm trying not to be too pushy since I know she must be stressed out with all these life changes.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-dropout?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:75c8619f-dfaa-4ace-bdaf-c2f73e64a811Post:d06db0eb-5c71-423b-9887-804e9e099150">Re: Bridesmaid dropout?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have been trying to get a hold of her, but she is really busy with a new city, new house, new job, baby on the way, etc.  I'm trying to get her number through another of my bridesmaids.  Meanwhile I just sent her a facebook message a couple weeks ago asking if she has any updates about the work situation and whether she can come.  I'm trying not to be too pushy since I know she must be stressed out with all these life changes.
Posted by damaless[/QUOTE]
With our wedding two months to go, you need to stop worrying about this and breathe.
Are the dresses in yet?

damaless

Yes, the dresses are in.  I'm not really stressing about this, sorry if I gave that impression.  I'm just trying to figure out what the appropriate thing to do is.