lack of RSVP's

lilkimber

Okay, this is actually a rhetorical question... I know this isn't acceptable.  But I'll ask anyway:  Anyone who I haven't received an RSVP from - can I assume they're not coming?  Seriously... I mail these people an invitiation and there's an RSVP card with an already stamped envelope.  How hard is it to send the RSVP back?  The nerve of some people.  I need to give the caterer a head count in eight days and RSVP deadline is tomorrow.  I'll make an attempt to call these people, but if I don't get ahold of them, then they're off the guest list

waltzingmatilda13

You should try calling them first to confirm. It would be a lot easier and better than assuming they're not coming and then running out of food.

tldh

Your wedding is 10/22.  That's plenty of time to track people down.  Believe it or not, things get lost in the mail or overlooked - your wedding is not at the front of everyone's minds.

Do what the rest of us did: wait three days after the RSVP date (some people mail them on the date) and then start calling.  Don't be a child and say if they don't answer then they're not invited anymore.  Are you planning on leaving that sweet phrase on a message?  What are you going to do if you essentially uninvite them and then they show up leaving you short of food.

MyNameIsNot

You should call them.

Have you never, ever had something lost in the mail?

sclams

First of all, wait until a couple days after the RSVP date. Some people assume it's okay to wait and mail it on that day. Call as many as you can, and don't take it so personally. I'm sure 99% of the people you're waiting on aren't trying to be rude, they just forgot!

Also, I just checked your wedding date- your caterer requires final numbers more than 2 weeks ahead of time?! That's pretty crazy!

ootmother2

Wait until after the weekend and then get on the phone!

No, you can't just un invite them because they were late replying.

emilyinchile

No, you can't assume that Some people will probably have taken tomorrow's deadline as the deadline to send them back to you, so you'll get a few more in a couple days. I'd probably give it the weekend and start calling Monday night.

If you really can't get in touch with anyone after you call/e-mail/FB/carrier pigeon, it's ok to call one last time and say "we hope you can come, but if I don't hear from you by tomorrow when we have to give numbers to the caterer, I'm afraid we'll have to assume you're not coming."

TTiger03

Calm down.  Take the time to call them and see if they are coming.  You never know.

At my sister's wedding, my parents called their friend who had not RSVPed.  She said she found the card not mailed the day after it was due and didn't think she had time to get it to us, so she didn't think she was still invited.  My parents were glad to hear that their friend still wanted to come and she was happy to know she was still invited.  Please don't uninvite your guests without talking to them.

You are quick to jump and say "I mail these people an invitiation and there's an RSVP card with an already stamped envelope.  How hard is it to send the RSVP back?  The nerve of some people."

I sure hope you have never forgotten to send an RSVP or had yours lost in the mail.  - We are all quick to learn what is rude when it is our event, but people tend to over look these things when it isn't their party.

opalsky007

Phone calls.

It's okay, it happens to all of us. Probably 30% of our guest list never sent a response card. It'll be fine.

lilkimber

I was venting... I'm going to contact everyone.  And yes, they want the count 2 weeks prior to the wedding.  Thanks for the responses.

Beachy730

Of our 125 invites that went out, we never got back 20 of our cards.  My own grandparents never sent their card back because they lost it.  Of course they were coming.  We had many people tell us they were waiting til the end to figure out who they were bringing, or if they could come.  Then they never even sent it in.  So we had several phone calls to make.  We even had one RSVP show up the day of our wedding.  luckily it was one we had already called. 

My venue required our "final" head count 10 days before, but we didn't have to give the absolute final head count until 3 days before.  They just wanted to make sure they were close on the head count in order to get all the food and things they would need.  The count we gave them 3 days before is what we were charged for.