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UGH....my mom wants my Grandmother at bachleorette party..

Ok so my MOH (my sister) is planning my bachleorette party and my mom is trying to help, she has asked for guest list which I provided. But my mother keeps asking if my grandmother can come, I have said NO NO NO (is she nuts). My mother does not seem to get it, she is going on vacation and comming back the day off the party and my Grandmother will be with her, so she seems to think grandma needs to come I have said no so has my sister, I just cant get my mom to back off. I want to have fun at my party and not be inhibited by her being there, short of telling my mom she cant come either I have no idea on how to handle this and its really starting to piss me off. Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do or say to not really hurt my mom's fellings and still get my way. 
* not that it matters but my gma is in her late 60's looks younger and acts tht way too her boyfriend is my age, but ick I still dont want her there, even if my mom thinks she's cool. Yell

Re: UGH....my mom wants my Grandmother at bachleorette party..

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ughmy-mom-wants-grandmother-bachleorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:77257cd1-25da-425d-82a1-1ef41d9b1874Post:c3f4dc35-af56-4d69-8437-14f48d14ccbc">UGH....my mom wants my Grandmother at bachleorette party..</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok so my MOH (my sister) is planning my bachleorette party and my mom is trying to help, she has asked for guest list which I provided. But my mother keeps asking if my grandmother can come, I have said NO NO NO (is she nuts). My mother does not seem to get it, she is going on vacation and comming back the day off the party and my Grandmother will be with her, so she seems to think grandma needs to come I have said no so has my sister, I just cant get my mom to back off. I want to have fun at my party and not be inhibited by her being there, short of telling my mom she cant come either I have no idea on how to handle this and its really starting to piss me off. Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do or say to not really hurt my mom's fellings and still get my way.  * not that it matters but my gma is in her late 60's looks younger and acts tht way too her boyfriend is my age, but ick I still dont want her there, even if my mom thinks she's cool.
    Posted by 12yearsinthemaking[/QUOTE]

    Where's the party at?
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    *** Party is going to be a mix of going out to dinner hitting a local comedy club, possibly dave and busters and bar hopping, or at least to the best of my knowledge (she is trying to keep it secret) thats what we are doing. None of which I want my gma at. I guess I should have mentioned Im not close with my gma.

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    brilibby4brilibby4 member
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    edited July 2010
    I think you just need to tell your mom straight up why you don't want your grandmother there.  Apologize and say you would love to spend time with her another time but you plan on drinking and such at your bachelorette party and simply wouldn't be comfortable.
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    IMO, neither mothers nor grandmother belong at a bachelorette party.

    Sorry, I would never think of attending my daughter's bach part!
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    I'm in KC too-Dave and Busters is a blast, however, not my Gma in tow. Tell your mom bluntly that your grandmother is not invited.  If you are up for it though you could suggest the 3 (or 4 if you included your sis) of you go out to lunch or something, maybe play it up as a special time with the women family members. This is a strange situation, though.
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    MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I have to agree with OOTmother2-----I am also a soon-to-be MOB and have NO intention of going to any bachelorette festivities---benign or otherwise.  I know several of the girls who would attend---many are from middle school, HS...I have known them for years!  Familiarity or not, tho.....this is a bridal party affair---not a family affair!

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    Maybe you should plan something for gma and mom to do together that night.  Maybe buying them a table at a cougar bar haha :)
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    tldhtldh member
    First Comment
    Your mom does know what a bachelorette party is right?  If she does, ask her if she would have been comfortable with her grandmother at hers.
    image
    AKA GoodLuckBear14
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ughmy-mom-wants-grandmother-bachleorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:77257cd1-25da-425d-82a1-1ef41d9b1874Post:9d4af515-4360-4545-a770-73fba8722061">Re: UGH....my mom wants my Grandmother at bachleorette party..</a>:
    [QUOTE]Maybe you should plan something for gma and mom to do together that night.  Maybe buying them a table at a cougar bar haha :)
    Posted by NillaWafer10[/QUOTE]

    LOL!!

    In all seriousness though, I'd just tell your mom you've decided to make it just your girlfriends, and then maybe you and mom and gma can have a lunch mani/pedi day or something soon.
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    is there any way you could include her in a small part of it? maybe a pre-party before the party really gets started? for my friend's bachelorette party we started with dinner with her family (grandparents, young cousins etc since they were all in from out of town). of course it was a little awkward when one of our friends walked in waving a dong bong (beer funnel with large penis on the end) over her head...so yeah, good luck with that.
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    I agree with PPs, mom and grandma have no business being at a bachelorette party, period. If they insist, then maybe just dinner and drop them off at home. It doesn't matter how young they think they are, they are not your peers. 
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    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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    You have to straighten out your mother. Grandmas don't belong there.
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    I was at one this year where kids, moms, and young nieces were present at "the first part" of the evening. I say if you are having a pre-wedding party for friends, family, and kids great but please do NOT call it a bach. People seem to be forgetting what a bach IS.
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    There is no way I would have had my mom at my bachelorette party even.  You should tell your mom that that night is for you and your friends.  Period.
    Crosswalk
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    I have talked to my sister and we have decided to let mom and grandma join us at the dinner portion of the night but after that they get the boot and got to go. And if they cant handle that tough s*** for them. We will no longer discuss it there is no choice in the matter, I guess I will see how it goes when we tell her tomorrow. The only reason I am having a bridal shower is to avoid situations like this,  so I can have the family together and not ruin my fun after all I am only going to do this once !!
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    CMGr - - - you got that right!  But no, I would also not crash nor have any expectation of being invited to FDiL's bachlorette party.

    Dave and Busters hmmm?  Are they different by you than in Chicago?  The D & B here is a restaurant, bar, and games.  If mom and gma insist on coming, I'd give them a few tokens and send them on their way to the game room.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ughmy-mom-wants-grandmother-bachleorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:77257cd1-25da-425d-82a1-1ef41d9b1874Post:f2f382e7-7f72-4442-8bb5-fb89f7aa8093">Re: UGH....my mom wants my Grandmother at bachleorette party..</a>:
    [QUOTE]Dave and Busters hmmm?  Are they different by you than in Chicago?  The D & B here is a restaurant, bar, and games.  If mom and gma insist on coming, I'd give them a few tokens and send them on their way to the game room.
    Posted by Marrin713[/QUOTE]
    That was the same thought I had. My mom love Dave and Busters and could easily drink all of my friends under the table and party later than any of them.
    I really think it depends on the relationship you have with your mom, though.

    Would your gma like Dave and Busters and a comedy club or what ever? Let your mom know what the plans for that night are, if she insists on gma being there, especially for the bar hopping, then it is on her head if gma doesn't enjoy herself. And if she does have fun, then is that so bad?

    I'm not saying your gma has to be invited, but I would, just for the laughs, lol.
    image
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