Bachelorette Party Etiquette

kkerr02

Is it bad etiquette to invite college friends to the bachelorette party, but not invite them to the wedding? It's going to be a beach thing, with drinking involved. Nothing formal, nothing uptight. I feel like I want to get them together because it has been a long time, but we're not close enough to invite to the wedding. I don't see a problem with it (and I don't plan on inviting them to the bridal shower obviously) but informal tradition says otherwise. Any advice or anyone with a similar experience?

And yes my wedding is over a year away, and I am already planning out my bachelorette party to get it out of the way since it's not a suprise and not complicated. I'm going to be finishing up my Master's program next summer so it's the last thing I want to be thinking about! So, no rude comments please :P

akhensley81

Anyone invited to anything wedding-related... should also be invited to the wedding.

That's not to say that you can't throw a beach party for your college friends just for the fun of it. Just don't "tie" the party to anything wedding-related.

hz80408

I think it'd be rude...you like them enough to celebrate, but not enough to invite?  If you want to get together with them, then do it, but don't make it be at your b-party

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelorette-party-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7739beae-4a27-46de-a434-9d1868a0a272Post:25ce8ca8-8720-4325-ac8f-0c0a5e529435">Bachelorette Party Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Is it bad etiquette to invite college friends to the bachelorette party, but not invite them to the wedding? It's going to be a beach thing, with drinking involved. Nothing formal, nothing uptight. I feel like I want to get them together because it has been a long time, but we're not close enough to invite to the wedding. I don't see a problem with it (and I don't plan on inviting them to the bridal shower obviously) but informal tradition says otherwise. Any advice or anyone with a similar experience? And yes my wedding is over a year away, and I am already planning out my bachelorette party to get it out of the way since it's not a suprise and not complicated. I'm going to be finishing up my Master's program next summer so it's the last thing I want to be thinking about! So, no rude comments please :P
Posted by kkerr02[/QUOTE]

If you want to see them, see them.

But don't invite them to a party for a wedding when they aren't even invited to the wedding. How can you not see a problem with that?


Host a separate get together with your old friends that doesn't involve your wedding or wedding related parties.

aragx6

You're not really supposed to be planning your bachelorette party anyway. If your wedding is more than a year away have you even selected your bridal party?

Just don't call it a bachelorette party and you have no problem here.

aragx6

Also, this is probably because I'm a contrary biitch, but telling me not to rude really makes me want to be rude.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

If you aren't close enough to them to invite them to the wedding, I would NOT invite them to an more intimate party. Or is it because the b-party would be cheaper to invite them to, hmm? Regardless, etiquette dictates that it's rude to invite someone to a party that relates to another event (a wedding) to which the guest isn't invited.

Brie2010

Why don't you just have a beach weekend and call it a beach weekend? 

Also, it's incredibly rude to plan your own bachelorette party and shower.  I wouldn't go.

frenchy730

It is rude to invite people to any pre-wedding gathering if they will not be invited to the actual wedding.  Easy enough.

Now two things, which other's have probably pointed out (I didn't want to read through all the responses).

1.)  If your wedding is over a year away, you shouldn't be worrying about guest-lists for your bachelorette party or shower.  Your relationships with people may change to the point where you no longer want to invite some people, and you will grow closer to others and wish for them to be there.  I would caution you against making decisions that will lock you in to who you can and cannot invite to your wedding.  Worry about the guestlist for your bachelorette party when the time comes to actually have your bachelorette party.  It's fine to think of ideas, but don't tell anyone your specific plans for who will attend just yet.

2.) You're not supposed to plan your own bachelorette party.  You're not supposed to plan your own shower.  Wait for someone to ask for your input and prefered guestlsts for these gatherings, and leave it be.

Krysti21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelorette-party-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7739beae-4a27-46de-a434-9d1868a0a272Post:1c270bb8-e213-4a0b-982f-8180ade13ba5">Re: Bachelorette Party Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Why don't you just have a beach weekend and call it a beach weekend?  Also, it's incredibly rude to plan your own bachelorette party and shower.  I wouldn't go.
Posted by Brie2010[/QUOTE]

This. Co-signed, Krysti21.

WhatawagSBNy

If you want to plan a last party with your girlfriends as a single woman, and you plan it, you pay for it, you can do what you want, have people who will attend your wedding, and people who won't.

danid515

Actually, I think it is not a big deal at all.  I was invited to a college friend's bachelorette party but not her wedding and I didn't mind at all. I also live 500 miles away but I thought it was really sweet that they wanted me at the bachelorette party.

kkerr02

Yes I have my bridal party together and I told my girls what I wanted for my b-party because I have a Master's Program with a dissertation that i have to finish next summer so I know exactly what weekend I will be done and can actually have fun without worrying about school. That's the only reason I made the comment about not being rude.

kkerr02

and thanks for the advice guys! I am probably going to skip out on inviting them to the bachelorette because you are right a) I might not even have enough contact with them by next summer and b) i think i would find it offensive if I was in their position. Just wanted to get a little input!

squirrly

1 - a bachelorette party is thrown by someone other than the bride in honor of the bride, for the bride and her friends.

2 - anyone invited to a pre-wedding party (bachelorette, shower, engagement, what have you) MUST be invited to the wedding.

3 - Just have a girls' weekend.