Wedding Etiquette Forum

Bridal Shower Etiquette

Alright, I need some advice.  OK, here's a bit of back story.  For our guest list, my FI and I allowed our parents to give us a list of people they want invited.  We took the lists into consideration, but we had to eliminate a few so that we didn't go over our budget.

OK, here's the now story.  I'm prepping addresses for my upcoming bridal shower and my FMIL submits a list to me with all the people that ARE NOT invited to the wedding.  She told me she still wants them to come to the bridal shower even if they aren't invited to the wedding.  I thought that this was a definite "No-no" in etiquette.  I don't want people to think that they are good enough to give us free gifts and money, but aren't good enough to come to the wedding.

Should we tell her that they can come as long as she tells them and they know that they are coming on their own free will and won't be invited to the wedding?  Which, I doubt she would actually tell them that and just tell us that she did.  I'm just so confused.
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Re: Bridal Shower Etiquette

  • People should not be invited to the bridal shower if they aren't invited to the wedding. 
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  • MattsPenguinMattsPenguin member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited January 2012
    They should NOT be invited.  Only guests of the wedding should be invited to all pre-wedding events.  Your thoughts are correct.  Try to convey that to you MIL. 
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited January 2012
    Just explain to FMIL that only people attending the wedding attend pre-wedding parties, including the shower.  If she insists on inviting these people, then decline the shower.
  • You didn't say who the host of the shower was. But anyway, do not let them get invited to the bridal shower.

    It is very rude to invite people to any pre-wedding event who are not invited to the wedding. Tell your FMIL that unfortunately these people are not invited to the wedding, thus they can't attend any pre-wedding party.

    If the host of the shower will not follow this rule,then decline the shower.

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

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    *This is Not Legal Advice*
  • Thanks so much everyone.  I agree with all of you.  And my MOH and my aunt are hosting my shower.  My FMIL pretty much does nothing,
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  • I am having the same issue and so far everone I asked about they completely understood we were on a budget and they were fine with just being nvitd to the shower
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