Paying to go to reception... WTF?

superheroprincess

A friend of mine recently asked me if I was planning on selling tickets to my reception for $25.00.

Apparently some people (where? who knows!)  sell tickets to friends they didn't invite to the wedding/dinner to attend their reception for $25.00. 

Keep in mind that our weddings may be different.  We have the ceremony, dinner then we have a dance (usually with cash bar) which lasts until 2am.  So these people would show up around 9pm to drink and dance until 2am... 

If someone asked me to buy a ticket to their wedding (that I wasn't invited to) I would be soooo insulted!  Who thinks of these things?

squirrly

Wait, wait, wait.  So, they insult people by not inviting them to the whole reception, and then JUST those people that they've insulted are asked to PAY to attend the rest of the reception?

WORST.IDEA.EVER.

Really.  That might be the worst idea I've heard in my time here.

opalsky007

Uh. Yeahno. Who comes up with this stuff?

ootmother2

that idea is so bad that it's actually funny

quotequeen

So you're telling me there are people who actually agree to pay for this?

[Deleted User]

Can't believe it. I have never heard of tiered invites before.

squirrly

I think it should be the other way, right?  The B&G pay these people to come party, since they've been so spectacularly mistreated otherwise.  But, $25 is insufficient.  x10. 

waltzingmatilda13

That may be the tackiest thing I have ever heard, here or anywhere else for that matter.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I'd have to think long and hard about paying $25 for an event (plus drinks) at a club or something, let alone a friend's WEDDING.

sarabellam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-reception-wtf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7b1032a8-d13a-41f6-ae3f-1b72bb363005Post:ce7cdc72-fed6-4af1-b618-dbb5cad12ecd">Re: Paying to go to reception... WTF?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd have to think long and hard ...Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

That's what she said! Yeah, not the most gracious of ideas I've ever heard of.

NuggetBrain

I don't even like to spend $25 on a pair of jeans, let alone a bunkass party that I couldn't bothered being invited to because the people throwing it are douchetastic.  Screw that. 

baystateapple

Tacktastic!

No way in hell would I go to that "reception" (in quotes because this plan basically flies in the face of what a genuine reception for your guests should be). 

leah2b

Wow -that's a first  - I've never heard of that.  If you tried to pull that in the area I live you would be laughed out of town.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-reception-wtf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7b1032a8-d13a-41f6-ae3f-1b72bb363005Post:1376d541-9cec-43e1-b2e6-95188da3564f">Re: Paying to go to reception... WTF?</a>:
[QUOTE]that idea is so bad that it's actually funny
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree.  Maybe they look it at lit like a club with a cover?  </div>

Meaghann17

I think OP is from Canada (me too)

While I have never heard of this, I have heard of some crazy- tacky things being acceptable in certain areas here.

When she said her wedding was different I think she meant in the sense that there is dinner then the party that goes till 2am. I know many people in the states do this, but I see a lot on here of people asking about after parties etc, and that doesnt happen here at places that are all inclusive and go to 2am. for example, at my wedding we have paid for a package that is all inclusive for each guest from 5:30 (cocktail reception) to 2am. there won't be an after party.. i have noticed a lot of people saying their receptions end between 10 and 12 here on the knot, then they have an after party.

i think tiered receptions are more acceptable in rural ontario.. my roomate who is a bm in our wedding and from northern ontario was surprised about the following aspects of my wedding
1. it is not tiered
2. we will have an open bar
3. bm don't have to set up and take down the reception space
this was all a shock to her.. her cousin recently had a 500 person wedding with cash bar and tiered reception. gah. i would rather cut the guest list to ensure everyone eats and drinks than have everyone there and pay.

Galaxy8227

Yeah... I would definitely not be attending that. 

Istremene

Whoa, really?  I have never even heard of this and it is a HORRID idea.  It is triple insulting to the people who were not good enough to make it to the paid for part of the evening , then ask them to pay to show up and THEN to pay for their own drinks!  Bleck.

leah2b

What is a tiered wedding?  Not sure what this means.

Ashes_3

Ummm thats idiotic. I mean having to pay for the drinks is bad, but having to pay for a reception that I wasn't even invited to.....

SpookieCat

Yep... It sounds like a pay-for-yourself tiered reception.  Ick.  I haven't seen this myself but I am currently fighting down a co-worker who is debating whether to charge $100 per person to attend the reception (includes dinner and all drinks for the night) in order to make sure that they "Make their money back" since they are paying for it all, and that amount exactly covers their reception costs.

Ummmm.... ouch.  It's a wedding.  It's a celebration.  While some guests might give you a $100 gift between 4 people, that's not what it's about.  And if you can't afford to have such a lavish wedding then just please for the love of God, don't.  /End rant.

goetzr19

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-reception-wtf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7b1032a8-d13a-41f6-ae3f-1b72bb363005Post:a95e07de-1716-4637-a890-d96ccd621d81">Re: Paying to go to reception... WTF?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Paying to go to reception... WTF? : A "tiered wedding" is one that has different levels of hospitality for different guests.  For example, there is a reception right after the ceremony with just cake and punch, then some (but not all) of the guests are invited to a seated dinner with dancing.  Or the reception begins at 5:00 PM with cocktails and a seated dinner, but some guests are only invited to come at 8:00 (when dinner is already over) just for dancing.  <u><em><strong>At least in the US, a tiered reception is always considered tacky.</strong></em></u>  (The customs in the UK are a bit different.)
Posted by 2dBride[/QUOTE]

Not true.  I have been to several tiered receptions, and I have never been offended by not getting to go to dinner.  It's all in the circles you are in. 

Goldlie11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-reception-wtf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7b1032a8-d13a-41f6-ae3f-1b72bb363005Post:043eeae7-b7a3-4e32-ac0c-612f0b360545">Re: Paying to go to reception... WTF?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Paying to go to reception... WTF? : Not true.  I have been to several tiered receptions, and I have never been offended by not getting to go to dinner.  It's all in the circles you are in. 
Posted by goetzr19[/QUOTE]
Just because you personally weren't offended doesn't make it alright.  In the USA it is considered rude and tacky.<div>
</div><div>As for the OP, I wouldn't pay $25 to get into a club.  I certainly wouldn't pay to go to a wedding .  The idea is utterly ridiculous.  </div>

pinkfleurdelys

"Side note; why is your wedding different?"

because she has brains and manners...

superheroprincess

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-reception-wtf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7b1032a8-d13a-41f6-ae3f-1b72bb363005Post:79778409-f176-434b-ae59-ddec7d1c837d">Re: Paying to go to reception... WTF?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think OP is from Canada (me too) While I have never heard of this, I have heard of some crazy- tacky things being acceptable in certain areas here. When she said her wedding was different I think she meant in the sense that there is dinner then the party that goes till 2am. I know many people in the states do this, but I see a lot on here of people asking about after parties etc, and that doesnt happen here at places that are all inclusive and go to 2am. for example, at my wedding we have paid for a package that is all inclusive for each guest from 5:30 (cocktail reception) to 2am. there won't be an after party.. i have noticed a lot of people saying their receptions end between 10 and 12 here on the knot, then they have an after party. i think tiered receptions are more acceptable in rural ontario.. my roomate who is a bm in our wedding and from northern ontario was surprised about the following aspects of my wedding 1. it is not tiered 2. we will have an open bar 3. bm don't have to set up and take down the reception space this was all a shock to her.. her cousin recently had a 500 person wedding with cash bar and tiered reception. gah. i would rather cut the guest list to ensure everyone eats and drinks than have everyone there and pay.
Posted by Meaghann17[/QUOTE]


Meaghann, everything you said was dead on...

I am from Northern Ontario and the things that some people find acceptable here are completely off the wall...  Ex: FI cousin had a wedding where you had to pay$25.00 pp to attend,  no meal, cash bar, midnight snack incl. but you didn't bring a gift. 

Also an open bar is almost unheard of here, we don't have packages where the alcohol is included, just a tab where you pay for each drink at the end of the night (usually $3.50 - $5.00 per drink.  Bar bills average from $4000.00 - $6000.00 for a wedding of my size (220ppl) plus food.  Sounds like in the US the price per person includes drinks?  Not sure if I misunderstood.

I just thought this was the funniest thing I've ever heard of and had to pass along. 

MacFreitas7

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-reception-wtf?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7b1032a8-d13a-41f6-ae3f-1b72bb363005Post:df693411-ce41-4994-bdbb-d42574aa2c01">Re: Paying to go to reception... WTF?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yep... It sounds like a pay-for-yourself tiered reception.  Ick.  I haven't seen this myself but I am currently fighting down a co-worker who is debating whether to charge $100 per person to attend the reception (includes dinner and all drinks for the night) in order to make sure that they "Make their money back" since they are paying for it all, and that amount exactly covers their reception costs. Ummmm.... ouch.  It's a wedding.  It's a celebration.  While some guests might give you a $100 gift between 4 people, that's not what it's about.  And if you can't afford to have such a lavish wedding then just please for the love of God, don't.  /End rant.
Posted by SpookieCat[/QUOTE]

I can't even believe that people like this exist.

There's just so much to say about this person who wants to charge for admission -  maybe their wedding will be just like a sideshow at the carnival, gotta pay to actually believe it.

knottief7f08860652a16bf

it blows my mind that people would attend a wedding where they were expected to pay anything.  $100 is ridiculous!  I've heard people talking about getting their money back by suggesting gift values so people "cover their plate" or registering for money, but this tops them all.  

It's called hospitality; whether you serve cake and punch (or coffee and doughnuts like a friend of mine just did) or a full fancy meal, you should give what you can afford and do so with sincere generosity!