Music Conflict. Please Help!

ambermillion

My FI hired a DJ for the entirety of our reception [dinner and dancing]. Hes trying to choose all the music AND he wants his buddies and himself to play live music on the side. I know he is really into music but i cant make him see that hes taking over the dj's job!

also, when i say he wants to play live with his buddies, i mean he has a set list of about 10 songs to play. none of them special to "us". i dont know if this is weird, ive been told it will be rude to our guests to have his band showcased throughout the reception and i am also being slightly selfish in the thought of...its OUR wedding, not friday night at the bar with the guys!!

am i wrong in thinking all of this?

SarahPLiz

You sound pretty immature if you have a petty disagreement with your FI and you run to us to fix it. Talk to him. Reason with him. Marriage needs communication and compromise, and it looks like your relationship lacks both at this point. Deal with your FI on this one.

ohwhynot

Your fi and his band can play while the dj takes a break, right? One of the best weddings I attended had the groom, his dad, and a few friends play some tunes during the reception.  They were very talented and it was a hoot to see them up there. 

However, if you want to choose some of the songs for the dj to play and your fi isn't letting you, you have a bigger problem than the music.  Talk to your fi and get on the same page.  Surely, there must be a compromise you can reach - this isn't an unfixable situation. 

georgia_bride09

Have you discussed this with your FI? I would think the two of you could come to some sort of compromise.

danieliza1127

SarahPLz, isn't that what we all do?  Have a conflict or question and post here for advice?  I don't think the OP is doing anything different. 

Anyway, Amber, as far as your FI picking the music for the DJ, that is normal and totally fine.  Most couples will tell the DJ what songs they want played or don't want played, so don't worry about that.  Just make sure you get a say too if there are certain songs you want to hear.

As far as him playing with his band, I would try to come to a compromise where maybe they just play 3 or 4 songs while the DJ takes a break and that's it. 

jasmineh7777

I think 10 songs is a bit excessive, but just a few songs while the dj is taking a break would probably be fun for the guests.
If you are worried that he won't get to spend the time with you during the reception, talk to him about it.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

I'm actually really impressed your fiance is taking the reigns on something that is such a big part of your wedding planning.  My man is willing but lacks direction... and I lack initiative

Just want to echo: you gotta talk to him about it and settle on a compromise.  It's awesome that this is so important to him but he needs to think about your feelings too, and you guys need to meet each other halfway.

L-Bride

I think it's a cute idea. I don't think I would have a problem with it if my FI was a musician and wanted to play a FEW songs. Just tell him you want it limited. You also never know, he may be surprising you with a song.

ambermillion

thank you everyone. i never even considered the dj break as an opportunity for them to play, it actually is quite perfect!

may i just say sarahpliz, you  may think i am immature, but i would rather throw my "petty" frustrations around on this board and get feed back, before starting a "petty" argument with my fiance. as it is, i am new to the wedding scene...being a first time bride and all...these boards are in place for exactly this.