Scheduling Etiquette?

botticelliangel6

Hello,
I want to get married on January 8th, and leave on my honeymoon cruise on January 9th.  We would have to catch a flight at 6:30 am on the 9th to meet up with the cruise ship.  The airport is 3 hours away from our wedding location, so clearly we would have to leave to be closer to the airport on the night of the 8th.  How do I structure my wedding reception time wise so that I can leave early enough to not fall asleep on the road? 

I want a traditional wedding, so I don't really want to do a morning wedding.  Furthermore, the reception site is an italian place so it isn't susceptible to a light midday lunch type meal.  I was contemplating having an early dinner around 4 in the hopes people would clear out enough for me to leave early enough to make all this work.  How long do people usually stay at a reception?  Is it rude to leave before all/some of the guests have?  A friend suggested a time specific reception (I.e. 4-8pm) so that I can leave after the alloted time without feeling guilty.  Is that still rude?

Thanks!

louisvillebride21

I know this isn't what you asked, but I really, really would not fly in the day of the cruise. Too many things can go wrong. We decided to just wait a week and drive down early to catch the next Sunday cruise.

ETA: Just noticed that you're from NY. I especially wouldn't plan on flying in that day. You know how unpredictable the weather can be then.

Kati0105

I'm not sure if there is specific etiquette for this, but I would feel really guilty leaving all of my guests.  We're having a lot of OOT guests so we chose not to leave for our honeymoon until two days after the wedding so we could have plenty of time to see our guests off before we took off.

georgia_bride09

I'm with LVB. I wouldn't fly into the port city the day of the cruise. Too many things could happen. I'd give myself at least a day. Could you not have your regular reception, fly out the afternoon of the 9th, then spend the night in the port city and shuttle over from the hotel?

kmurr010

I would definitely look for a different cruise. Maybe one leaves on a Wednesda or the following Sunday. That all just sounds too hectic. You want to enjoy your wedding and your reception, not be worried about your time restraints.

janedoe1113a

I personally would not want to eat dinner at 4pm.  If you start the dinner at 6pm, you could leave at 10pm and get there by 1am.

I also would not fly in the day of a cruise.  Too many ways that can go wrong.  If you are going to fly in the day of, please get vacation insurance.  If you don't believe, go over to cruisecritic.com and read some of the horror stories about people flying in the day of.

JessAndTrav

I'm going to echo Louisvillebride...flying in the day that your ship departs is risky. Our flight was delayed over 3 hours when we left for our honeymoon due to fog. It would lighten up, and then roll back in over and over. So our delay time kept changing.

You really never know what can happen. You'd never stop kicking yourself for missing your cruise due to a delayed flight.

botticelliangel6

The cruise leaves port on the 9th, or I totally would :-)

botticelliangel6

I'm in law school, and classes start up shortly after (as it is I will be missing roughly three days of classes) so it sort of has to be rushed :-(

georgia_bride09

In that case, take your honeymoon during Spring or Summer Break. Just because it doesn't immediately follow your wedding doesn't mean it's not your honeymoon.

botticelliangel6

Alright, so how about this.  What I would personally be happier with is getting married on Friday, driving home Sat AM and flying out Sat evening, and then hopping on a flight Sunday AM.  Although then we have to pay for a hotel in Miama, also which I really don't want to do; we really can't afford the honeymoon as is! 

My concern is asking all of our out of town guests to take time off of work if we get married on a Friday....

lyndausvi

4pm is fine for me.  I've attend weddings at everytime you can think of and have had full meals and I never thought twice about it.  I actually lose track of time once I get to the reception I do not care what time you serve the food.

Anyway, I would really worry about flying out on the same day as the cruise, especially in Januray.  My parents were going to do that last year but we tallked them out of it... good thing, a huge strom hit and they would have missed their 2 week cruise or flown to Panama to catch the flight (on their own dime).

georgia_bride09

If you can't afford a honeymoon, then save money until school lets out in the summer. Win-win. You're basically pushing an issue that could easily be solved by waiting a few months.

kmurr010

I agree with georgia bride. Maybe you guys can take a short trip somewhere near by, like a bed and breakfast and then during spring break take a nice long cruise. I'm with everyone else about flying in the day of the cruise. I've done it and it has always worked out, but I've heard horror stories. We usually drive down a day early. You don't want to start your honeymoon stressed!

georgia_bride09

Also, Friday weddings are generally a little cheaper, so if you did that without all the cruise business, then you'd still save some money there. But trying to put a square peg in a round hole will never work, and that is what your cruise is, it sounds like.

Kati0105

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_scheduling-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7bce5750-25e7-4a0b-a3e5-971a9f8cb0f6Post:27a0d6a3-3b4b-40a1-9fcf-85349dbcb6f3">Re: Scheduling Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]If you can't afford a honeymoon, then save money until school lets out in the summer. Win-win. You're basically pushing an issue that could easily be solved by waiting a few months.
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

Yes, listen to Georgia.  Also a cruise will be much warmer and nicer in March.

csumler

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_scheduling-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7bce5750-25e7-4a0b-a3e5-971a9f8cb0f6Post:3ae2c3eb-dedb-4888-8b41-f08056a2c894">Re: Scheduling Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm in law school, and classes start up shortly after (as it is I will be missing roughly three days of classes) so it sort of has to be rushed :-(
Posted by botticelliangel6[/QUOTE]

I don't think that rushing anything is ever a good idea.  If your in school, why don't you get married after the Spring semester?  That's what I'm doing and it's working out perfectly.  :)

botticelliangel6

Spring Break in law school means you write your papers due at the end of the semester, or at least it does for me because I work so I have no "extra" time to write my papers during the semester.  Summer is also a problem because I'll be taking the bar exam that summer and will be studying/taking courses.

Kati0105

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_scheduling-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7bce5750-25e7-4a0b-a3e5-971a9f8cb0f6Post:fdf1aa4f-fcee-4e80-a299-bd9177069834">Re: Scheduling Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]Spring Break in law school means you write your papers due at the end of the semester, or at least it does for me because I work so I have no "extra" time to write my papers during the semester.  Summer is also a problem because I'll be taking the bar exam that summer and will be studying/taking courses.
Posted by botticelliangel6[/QUOTE]

Hmm well in this case I'd suggest getting married on Friday, flying to the cruise location on Saturday night, and boarding the cruise Sunday.  As long as you have the Friday wedding on the later side (maybe 6 or 7) it shouldn't be that much of an inconvenience for your guests - and like Georgia said, you'll possibly save some $.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Can you have your wedding on Friday, January 7, and then leave on the cruise on the 9th? You'd have a full day in between to rest and travel.

Edit:

Yes, do Friday.

botticelliangel6

The one planning thing my fiance asked for was a winter wedding; he's a big guy and he'll be way too hot in a suit or tux in the summer!

kmurr010

It sounds like you're crazy busy. I understand that and am there myself. Do you really want to rush all of this at once? Why not get married after the bar exam? We're waiting for me to finish grad school in May before we get married. Makes life much easier.

squirrly

Friday wedding could work.
Or, take that Saturday night and spend it someplace awesome locally (B&B, etc.) and delay the big HM until spring break.

I think you've got too much stuff packed in there to relax and enjoy either your wedding, your wedding night, or your HM if you try to do it as planned.

georgia_bride09

Your putting too much importance in this cruise. It just sounds like you should go somewhere close to home and take a cruise when it fits your schedule better. Is there a winery or something close by that would suffice? 

Plus, you're already missing school if you go, so what's a week in the summer?  

Brie2010

This is exactly why we waited until the summer after the bar exam to get married.

OP, I'd suggest combining your honeymoon and bar trip.  Most people go on a crazy vacation after the bar; why not just postpone the honeymoon until then?  Then you can celebrate both your marriage AND being done with the most hellacious summer of your lives.

lyndausvi

IMO a Friday wedding is fine.

 If you want to do a Saturday wedding and take your chances  then do it late morning early afternoon.  My sister had a 10:30 wedding the a full lunch (filet craved at your table) with drinking and dancing from 12-5 and it was one of the best weddings I've ever been to.

I can't speak for anyone else, but driving 3 hours after my wedding would have never happend.  We were  sooooo tired.  We did a 3 hour drive the afternoon after and that was  hard enough, there is no way in hell I would have do it directly after the wedding. 

They have 5 day cruises that leave on the 10th?  Could that be an option?  Spend a night or 2 in Miami and be on the cruise for less time?

salt78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_scheduling-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7bce5750-25e7-4a0b-a3e5-971a9f8cb0f6Post:d4b4f7c6-4158-499a-a0da-4c885bb5a957">Re: Scheduling Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]I know this isn't what you asked, but I really, really would not fly in the day of the cruise. Too many things can go wrong. 
Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

<div>Definitely this. A few of our guests had travel issues getting onto the island where we got married. One of them didn't come in until almost a day later than planned. </div>

sucrets4

But daddy, I want an oompa loompa!!!!!!!!!

LarissaAnn

FYI, I had a full formal cocktail hour & 4-course dinner with dancing and the whole shebang with an 11:30 a.m. wedding and 12:00 p.m. reception that ended at 5.

Photos & menu in bio.

Afternoon wedding =/= non-traditional, informal or "light lunch."

mwhitson14

I'm doing exactly as PPs suggested: Friday night wedding, headed to port on Saturday, cruise leaves on Sunday. Easy peasy.

botticelliangel6

Thanks guys...

After talking it over with my fiance we're going to do a Friday wedding, drive back and fly out on Saturday, and hop on the cruise on Sunday....  It might be more inconvenient for our out of town guests who would have to take Friday off from work (at least in some case) but it will make things a lot easier for us! 

Thanks for all the suggestions!