flower girl issue

CherylE418

ok so i am having a friend's daughter that i used to babysit be my flower girl.  this friend has just moved into a new house with her husband and 4 little children (all of whom i adore!).... so I have been browsing pictures for dresses Ifor my BMs and FG....picked one for BM in a kelly green.... found this FG dress on david's bridal that would be absolutely precious on this little girl and has a kelly green sash, so she would match the big girls and feel grown up i sent the link to the girl's mom and she says she loves it and that "of couse she will *help* pay for it"..... I wasn't intending on paying for her dress/shoes etc.... didn't think that was how it usually worked.... so. should i stick with the dress i love and allow the help and just pay the difference anyway...or try to find a cheaper dress that maybe she will pay for all of?

sidenote... i'm also using her 2 boys as ring bearer and acolyte... what if she wants me to pay for their little mini-tuxes too?  is there an appropriate way to bring this up? i asked them to be in my wedding because i love these kids to death, so i don't *mind* paying for them..... but just don't really want to with all the other expenses i'm covering myself..... what would you do if this was your situation?

CherylE418

such great ideas! you are all simply wonderful!!!

HisCB

you can say, "i realize that i should have asked about your budget before, but i found a dress that i love for her and will look great with the bm's its $79, can you afford that in addition to the boy's tuxes? .....if not, i would be happy to keep looking, what amount can you afford?"

skippylouwho

I think the idea of asking a mom with 4 little kids to have 3 of them be in a wedding and expecting her to pay for all of thse outfits should have set warning bells in your head. Unless they are reasonably well off, the idea that she might be able to or want to spend money for 3 outfits that at least 2 f them will never wear again is, to me, asking an awful lot.  Add any other expenses they will have to attend your wedding, a gift for you - that's could really break a family's budget.

HisCB

i agree that it is a lot to ask, my brother has 6 kids in my wedding, including 1 bride'smaid and he is traveling, which for his family involves renting a car and driving 6 hours, staying over night and missing 2 days of work.  my other brother has 3 kids in my wedding and just barely moved becaus they couldnt afford their house. while i am accepting any $ help they can give, i have it in my budget to pay whatever it takes. but i have no problem getting them whatever is affordable.

no one will judge how nice your wedding is by how nice the kids are dressed, and its excessive to spend a lot of money on clothes kids wont wear again, or much before they grow out of them.