HELP!!??

ashwise

So My honey and I live in NH, and are having our wedding about an hour from our place in the mountains.  The problem is that 95% of our guests are going to be from out of town.  And by out of town I mean out of the state, we have people coming from PA, NC, SC, FL and CA.  So, sould I treat this as more of a destination wedding, and plan for acivities all weekend long, or can I go the more traditional route and plan for the rehersal dinner the night before, the actual big day and a brunch the next morning?? I'm so lost.  I don't want our guests to be bored, or unhappy.  I'm also trying to figure out how to get everyone to the resort where we're having it.  The closest airport is either Boston or Manchester NH (2.5 hours, and 1.5 hours away).  Should guests be responsible for getting to the hotel themselves? Or should we provide some sort of transportation? 

Thanks for help! :-) 

lifeonthehill

I am not much help on this one. I am just curious as to what resort you are having the wedding at. My FI was pushing for a NH wedidng (his home state). But we ended up choosing Miane. I am know kind of having wedding envy thinking of the views of the mountians!

misssunshine17

I'm in Maine, and though most of my guests are local, I get the crappy airport situation. Like Lia said, it's their job to get there. Unless you change the location closer to Manchest or Boston, I don't see any other options.

I'm personally inviting OOT guests to my rehearsal dinner, but that's all the 'extra' I'm doing.

Avion22

We were in the same boat. The only people who weren't from out-of-town for our wedding were my parents (and we were the ones who traveled the furthest!)

We had a super-casual RD and invited everyone.  We called it a "Welcome Picnic" and had it at a public park's picnic shelter.  People wore shorts and flip flops. It was awesome.   

The day of the wedding, we gave people suggestions, but didn't plan things for people.  We DID have a shuttle from the main group of hotels to the ceremony/reception site -- we used out-of-service busses from the university transit system, and it was fairly inexensive.   

The morning after we did a "come as you go" breakfast.  We set up in one of the hotel conference rooms and had bagels/cream cheese, cinnamon rolls, fruit, juice, coffee, and tea.  People stopped in to say hello and get a bite to eat before checking out, and it was really nice.  It gave people one last chance to see everyone and chat before leaving town.    Again, it was SUPER casual and we invited everyone (even if they weren't staying in the same hotel).  

ashwise

Thanks for the posts so far! I appreciate the help.  I like the idea of doing a traditional wedding, I'll have to check with the resort to see if they offer any extra activities, and just include them on the website as stuff they can do.  And we're thinking the Steele Hill Resort in the white mountains.  And I really like people getting their own transportation.  Less that I have to coordinate, and we definitely don't have the budget for that. 

Thanks!! 

ashwise

Oh i like the picnic idea!! We don't really need a RD, we've been together for 7 years now, the families know each other.  But a picnic with everyone would be fun!!

Avion22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-44?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7d8ca995-edec-417a-abf7-ec95c07ff1e2Post:cd6c9b80-3bcc-4bee-8e29-2b4220f1e2da">Re: HELP!!??</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the posts so far! I appreciate the help.  I like the idea of doing a traditional wedding, I'll have to check with the resort to see if they offer any extra activities, and just include them on the website as stuff they can do.  And we're thinking the Steele Hill Resort in the white mountains.  And I really like people getting their own transportation.  Less that I have to coordinate, and we definitely don't have the budget for that.  Thanks!! 
Posted by ashwise[/QUOTE]

<div>I know when I RSVP yes to an out-of-town wedding, I expect that I will be responsible for all of my transportation/hotel/meal costs, etc, and plan to entertain myself while not doing wedding stuff.   I do think it's really helpful to do STDs and to include hotel information either with the STD or on a wedding website (with the URL on the STD).</div>

AddieCake

We just put some info about local things to see and do on our wedding website and let guests decide for themselves what to do. I don't think it's necessary to provide OOT guests with activities or transportation. 

lifeonthehill

Wow your venue is beautiful!!

ashwise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-44?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7d8ca995-edec-417a-abf7-ec95c07ff1e2Post:4a1f45c2-2cf1-4da5-92bb-e5a69fc8c141">Re: HELP!!??</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow your venue is beautiful!!
Posted by alyssaames[/QUOTE]

<div>Thanks! We haven't made our final decision yet, but that's the one we're both in love with right now. :-) </div>

silver0319

OP, I had a similar situation.  We are getting married at a resort Northern NJ (near NY state border), and most of our guests are from OOT.  

When I was originally compiling my list of area venues, I was basing everything off of proximity to the airport.  My mom reminded me of all of the times I've traveled for friends' weddings and had to take care of my own transportation.   Oh, and if I'd gone with my original list based on airport proximity, we wouldn't have even looked at our venue!

The resort that we're going with has tons of activities for guests throughout the weekend. I've made a list of local activites for our wedding website.  We'll have a rehearsal for family and bridal party only, maybe welcome cocktails for OOT guests, and a brunch on Sunday for guests staying at the resort, but we aren't going to entertain them the whole weekend.  

hoffse

I actually prefer not to have 14 events to have to attend.  I'm an adult and am fully capable of entertaining myself.  While it's nice being fed, if I'm in a place with other stuff to do and see, I like to have some time to explore the area, particularly if it's out of town for me.  With a lot of events I sort of feel obligated to attend them all since I'm there, KWIM?  For instance - my parents were invited to a wedding in Charleston last year, and my mom felt like they didn't get to do anything they love to do in the city because they were so overscheduled.  They've been to Charleston a few times before, but it's a relatively rare thing for them, and there was some restaurants they wanted to go to and some shops they wanted to visit... but they were so overly hosted (if you can imagine such a thing), and they didn't really have time.

So if there is stuff to do in the area, I'd stick to the rehearsal dinner, wedding, and (maybe) brunch only - let people have time to see a new area

cnf2013

I'd say go traditional. If they want to do more, they will. 

We're in the same boat. Only a few people from my family are "local" (read: three hour drive). The rest live in other states. We're getting married in NY and all of FI's family is from MS/TN, we have people from GA, CA, AZ, IL, and even Australia. To ease everyone's travel, we opted to do our RD as a "family picnic" open to everyone in town the night before. We rented a pavilion big enough to hold our entire guest list in the state park where our hotel black is, hired BBQ catering, and will bring in some beer and wine. There's a playground right there for the kids. It'll just be a big family shindig. The total cost will end up right around 1K, but worth it. I'd suggest something similar if you really want to host something fun for everyone, but you by no means need to plan a whole weekend vacation of activities for people.

As for transportation, most people are probably aware they'll need a rental car, which they can get from the airport. If you can budget for transportation, that's nice of you, but thaat'd be difficult to coordinate with people coming in at all different times. We have the same issue with the closest airport being an hour away, so I feel you there, but I sure can't afford to shuttle everyone in. 

ETA: Avion, great minds must think alike! What you did for your RD is exactly what we have planned for ours. 

Blue & White

My wedding is basically the same, and I'm planning the traditional route.  Some of my guests may plan to stay the weekend or a long weekend, as it is sort of a vacation town, but that's up to the guests.