Wedding Etiquette Forum

Seating arrangements...

I have decided not to do a seating arrangement for the reception, mostly because I do not want to deal with people saying "I wanna sit with thids person" or "I dont wanna sit with that person" after the thing is done. I just don't see why people can't seat themsleves, FMIL has an issue with this? Is it wrong to wanna leave that stress out of my wedding planning.


And I would have her do the seating chart, but that would be a disaster...

Re: Seating arrangements...

  • This approach only works if you have a ton of extra seats.  Otherwise units (couples, families with kids) end up split up b/c there's only so much empty space at each table.

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  • Your question mark is out of place.

    There is nothing "wrong" with not doing a seating chart. I am assigning tables because I feel that it is easier on guests, but that is not the black and white "right" thing to do.
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  • edited May 2011
    We are assigning tables, but not seats, so people can pick where they sit at the 8 or 10-person round table to which they are assigned.  

    It's fine not to assign either, but you need to have extra seats, since people are less likely to pack themselves into tables efficiently with open seating, and you don't want guests to have to split up their families or groups because all that's left is random single seats scattered throughout the room.  I like assigned tables, because I don't like that awkward moment when I walk into a room of people and have to figure out who I know and where there's an open place, all before someone else takes it.  

    If your main concern is you don't want to hear people complain about the seating that you assign, don't tell anyone about it beforehand.  If someone decides to whine to you at your wedding reception that they really wish you didn't sit them at the same table as so-and-so, that's really their issue.  
  • i had thought about doing no seating chart as well, but then after reading these boards and thinking about it more, i realized that it could cause more stress to not have some sort of chart. what i plan to do is assign people to tables and then they can sit wherever they want to at that table. and if they want to move around, no biggie.
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  • Assign tables at the very least.  If you aren't going to do that, then you need tons of extra tables and chairs, because you don't want your married Aunt Sally and Uncle Joe to end up sitting on opposite sides of the room because those were the only chairs left.

    It's a convenience thing for your guests.  Every wedding I've been to has been assigned tables, and I've never heard a complaint.
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  • I'm not assigning tables or seats. It's not something that's done often in my family and I don't like going to weddings where I'm told where to sit. My family is HUGE and there's often not many extra seats but no one complains. This may just be something that my family dynamics are specific to though. I would do whatever your circle of people are more comfortable with though. Obviously your FILs would be more comfortable, what about your family/friends?
  • midget, what about your FI's family?  Are they going to like fighting for space with your family?

    I mean, it's cool if it's just your family, but I feel like, especially when you're bringing together groups of people that don't know each other at all, it's a much better idea to assign tables, or, as was said earlier, have plenty of extra space so people don't get stuck sitting with a group of people they don't know from Adam.
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  • I should have addressed that. My FI's family is very small but they've all met my immediate family and some of my extended family and they get along great. Since my wedding isn't until next June, this hasn't come up in conversation with his family yet but FI says they'll be fine without assigned seating. I have thought about having a table for just immediate families if that makes them more comfortable. I won't do it for the mass group of guests though.
  • Oh I really hope I don't go to a wedding where I have to seat myself. Hahaha...
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  • I prefer having an assigned table. 

    I've only been to two weddings where there weren't assigned seats and I found it annoying.  One of the weddings H and I sat at a table by ourselves since that was where there was space... that was kind of strange. 
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  • I personally don't like assigned tables but FI thinks it's easier.  We haven't decided for sure yet, but we were thinking about assigning Bride tables and Groom tables so they at least had some sort of guidelines. 
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  • I actually prefer assigned tables as a guest, because usually whoever did the planning sat me with my friends. By the time they find out who they're sitting with, it'll be too late to complain, and you'll be tied up talking to all the other guests.
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