Wedding Etiquette Forum

Already married

I am already married ..we had a Justice of Peace ceremony with two witneses three days after i gave birth to my daughter..however i have always wanted that dream wedding..how would i go about planning this...????please help...

Re: Already married

  • edited July 2010
    Well, you can no longer get a dream wedding, because you are married.  You can, however, have a dream vow renewal.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_already-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7e931572-05be-4298-a167-e113cf53d25cPost:9119b3bd-550c-4137-ba81-2e9e77c537eb">Already married</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am already married ..we had a Justice of Peace ceremony with two witneses three days after i gave birth to my daughter..however i have always wanted that dream wedding..how would i go about planning this...????please help...
    Posted by dpwill78[/QUOTE]

    You have a vow renewal.  You have already had a wedding, and you are already married.  You can do pretty much everything the same as a regular wedding if you want, but call it a vow renewal.  Calling it a wedding is a lie.
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  • Ditto what Brie said.
  • oh, please. 

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  • Personally, I think you gave up your "dream" wedding when you decided to JOP it, but since you're going to do what you want anyway, I agree with pp.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_already-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7e931572-05be-4298-a167-e113cf53d25cPost:310f08aa-eeeb-4de0-9562-445d140c3bd5">Re: Already married</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Already married : You have a vow renewal.  You have already had a wedding, and you are already married.  You can do pretty much everything the same as a regular wedding if you want, but call it a vow renewal.  Calling it a wedding is a lie.
    Posted by Brie2010[/QUOTE]


    This
  • Please know that this question comes up a lot, so that will help explain some of the negative responses.  Many people on the boards feel like when you make the choice to have a JOP wedding, you're making the choice to forgo the traditional "special day" stuff.  You had your wedding, you're married now with a child. 

    What is fine to do though is a vow renewal, as the others here have said.  Or even just throw a big anniversary party on a big anniversary, like your 5th or 10th.  In either case, you shouldn't be having any showers or bachelorette parties, and you obviously wouldn't call it a "wedding" since you're already married.
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  • WELL THANKS EVERYONE,,,AND FOR THOSE THAT SEEM TO BE JUST A LIL NEGATIVE ..THANK YOU TOO,AT THE TIME WE COULDN'T AFFORD A WEDDING..BUT ANYWHO..YES IT WILL BECOME A  VOW RENEWAL...THANKS TO EVERYONE WITH SAYING MAKE IT A VOW RENEWAL AND FOR NOT PUTTING IT IN A NEGATIVE WAY..REALLY THE NEGATIVE ONES..i>e...."OH PLEASE",AND THE OTHERS ...THANKS AGAIN...
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  • Well, not all of your guests are going to be happy with this. (After all, if you couldn't afford a wedding at the time, one option was to WAIT and not JOP.) Most people will tell you they like the idea to your face. But they might be lying. Some might think it looks like a gift grab. We're telling you the truth.
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  • I'd just do something on your first anniversary and call it a first anniversary party.
    10-10-10
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_already-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7e931572-05be-4298-a167-e113cf53d25cPost:8a6f39b3-9b87-40f6-b63c-9d772078a11e">Re: Already married</a>:
    [QUOTE]WELL THANKS EVERYONE,,,AND FOR THOSE THAT SEEM TO BE JUST A LIL NEGATIVE ..THANK YOU TOO,AT THE TIME WE COULDN'T AFFORD A WEDDING..BUT ANYWHO..YES IT WILL BECOME A  VOW RENEWAL...THANKS TO EVERYONE WITH SAYING MAKE IT A VOW RENEWAL AND FOR NOT PUTTING IT IN A NEGATIVE WAY..REALLY THE NEGATIVE ONES..i />e...."OH PLEASE",AND THE OTHERS ...THANKS AGAIN...
    Posted by dpwill78[/QUOTE]

    WHAT? REALLY...I ...CAN'T....HEAR....YOU.
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  • Good idea..thanks alot....
  • KimL23KimL23 member
    10 Comments
    My husband and I did this for military purposes and lack of money for a big wedding. We're doing it as a vow renewal but we're still having the white dress, a bridal party, DJ, etc. We're leaving out some traditions such as a big cake with the cake cutting ceremony (we're having cupcakes instead), i'm not going to do the bouquet toss (we're trying to think of an alternative to give it away), and we're not going have a first dance.

    Don't listen to the negative people because this should be about celebrating your love with your husband. Dream big and don't let negative comments get you down! 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_already-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7e931572-05be-4298-a167-e113cf53d25cPost:7e0dc482-1c34-4e4e-8a35-d9a7c39302c2">Re: Already married</a>:
    [QUOTE]My husband and I did this for military purposes and lack of money for a big wedding. We're doing it as a vow renewal but we're still having the white dress, a bridal party, DJ, etc. We're leaving out some traditions such as a big cake with the cake cutting ceremony (we're having cupcakes instead), i'm not going to do the bouquet toss (we're trying to think of an alternative to give it away), and we're not going have a first dance. Don't listen to the negative people because this should be about celebrating your love with your husband. Dream big and don't let negative comments get you down! 
    Posted by KimL23[/QUOTE]
    Really?  A bridal party?  Why?  You are not a bride.  It is not a wedding.
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  • I think you can do whatever you like. Just skip the gifts and of course (if it applies to your situation) make sure everyone knows it is a vow renewal and not a wedding. You can have bridesmaids if you like. You can have a MOH. As I said, just call it a vow renewal, do not do gifts, and you are fine.

    I for one would not just be pretending to like the idea-if I was invited to something like this I would enjoy it very much. As much as some spin it into a negative "you want your pretty princess day", I think it shows you love each other enough to want to do it all over again.

    We had a wedding, and I plan to have a vows renewal for our fifth anniversary-I was inspired by another Knottie. I am not thinking of a big guest list or anything, just me and H in Jamaica or Hawaii.
  • Geez with everyone being so negative. 

    While technically it is a vow renewal, you are still allowed to celebrate however you want, including having a "ceremony" and reception. 

    My FI and I got engaged and had already booked all of our wedding stuff when a lot of major stuff came up (that I won't go into), but we ended up doing a JOP ceremony.  Everyone knows that we did it and why.

    We are planning now to have the "wedding" that we had initially planned and booked.  Yes, it is a vow renewal, but we are going through the motions of a regular wedding because that was our initial intention.  None of our friends or family have said anything about how we shouldn't do it, and even though we are already married, our friends are still throwing us a shower because they said that they want to do it. 

    Bottom line is do what you want.  People do JOP for a variety of reasons, and if you want to celebrate later, do it, and do it how you want to do it.  If people don't like the fact you are doing it, they don't have to come or give you a gift. 

    I hope your wedding/vow renewal/whatever you want to call it is wonderful. :)


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