bar etiquette

ljahns

I know there are a lot of strong opinions out there about open, hosted & cash bars. I'm just curious if this is ok.

150 guests and a strict budget

Hosted alcohol: beer & wine along with champagne (wedding couple are huge champagne drinkers). There will be soda, lemonade, ice tea and coffee for those not interested in alcohol.

Cash: hard alcoholic drinks (hosting any portion of this is outside the budget)

There will be a bar sign listing what is hosted.
 
Is it OK to have guests pay for hard alcohol or is it better not to have the option?

WildRumpus

It's probably an unpopular opinion, but I would be okay with that

ekilzer1

I would just not offer hard alcohol and have a hosted bar of beer & wine.

Calypso1977

i had a cash bar and everyone i know has had cash bars at their wedding with the exception of 2 brides.  but on here, most will tell you cash bars are tacky and not to do it.

waltzingmatilda13

I'm with pp, I would not even offer liquor just so no one has to pay. Most people are okay with just beer and wine.

emilyinchile

I think you'll get a relatively even split on this one. I wouldn't miss hard alcohol if you hosted just beer and wine, so I would rather not be reminded of what I'm not having and wouldn't pay for a drink at your wedding, so may vote goes for just not having the option. However I know there are people who would appreciate you'd done what you could afford but would prefer something else and would happily pay for it since you'd been gracious hosts to the extent your budget allowed.

AdeleDazeem

I got hot and bothered on the reception board this weekend (and today) about this subject, but it's only because there was a lot of crazy in there. 

You can leave it at beer and wine if you want.  If you know someone would appreciate being able to get a whiskey, then go ahead with the cash hard liquor bar, but I don't think it's necessary.

cm42878

We are doing this same thing. Open bar for beer and wine and cash bar for hard alcohol. Our reception is at a hotel and they have their own pub there which will be open and serving during our wedding. I worry that if we do not offer hard liquer or mixed drinks people will go to the Pub to get them anyway therefore still spending money at our wedding and spending a great amount of time outside the reception. I know the hotel will not close the Pub just because so I figure offering them in the room is the better option.

I say do what your budget allows and if people do not want to pay then they can drink beer or wine or nothing at all. I do not like beer so much and would be happy to pay for my own drinks to be able to drink as I like!

banana468

I don't love it but don't hate it.

What I'd do: Make a sign stating what you ARE hosting.  Some people may want a vodka tonic or a glass of wine and knowing what's free may help sway their choices.  Something like ' "The following are available courtesy of the bride and groom'

Then if someone wants a drink not listed, the bartender can tell them what the cost is.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bar-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:811b7cb2-6e80-442a-a5d5-2bf966f2080aPost:00365938-a71f-4518-811b-4225bd85ba28">Re: bar etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't love it but don't hate it. What I'd do: Make a sign stating what you ARE hosting.  Some people may want a vodka tonic or a glass of wine and knowing what's free may help sway their choices.  Something like ' "The following are available courtesy of the bride and groom' Then if someone wants a drink not listed, the bartender can tell them what the cost is.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

Ditto this.

I would be perfectly fine with beer and wine, and wouldn't opt to pay for liquor most likely.  But some people like to have the choice anyways.  I wouldn't make any mention of what you're not hosting though.  Just make a list saying what you are hosting, and if people see the liquor bottles behind the bar they can ask the bartender who would tell them the cost.

ljahns

In Response to Re: bar etiquette:
[QUOTE]Make a sign stating what you ARE hosting.  Some people may want a vodka tonic or a glass of wine and knowing what's free may help sway their choices.  Something like ' "The following are available courtesy of the bride and groom' Then if someone wants a drink not listed, the bartender can tell them what the cost is.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

The bar signs read "Hosted this Evening..." the 3 beers, 4 wines & champagne that is hosted. Is that ok? or should it say something else??

Beachy730

No I think thats fine.  Just don't even mention what you aren't hosting, or what they have to pay for.  If its exactly as you said I think you're good.

Calypso1977

i will also add that you shouldnt have a lot of other "frills" like an expensive dress, a limo, favors, a ginormous bridal party and an exotic honeymoon if you are going the cash bar route.  making people pay for booze is ok if its because you cant afford it.  making htem pay so you can have something nicer for yourselves is not ok.

banana468

Good point Calypso. 

I went to a wedding where I had to pay for my diet Coke.  Not only did that irritate me but then the couple took a 10 day honeymoon in Hawaii.  I really love them but I was not a fan of how the wedding was hosted.

sb9411

Do you know for a fact that some people wouldn't like beer, wine or champagne? I wouldn't even offer the option for anything but those three. I think people would be happy with those choices.
If you think that you need to have the hard alcohol, then do it, but if you go without it, I don't think it would be a problem :-)

ljahns

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bar-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:811b7cb2-6e80-442a-a5d5-2bf966f2080aPost:e255c3c1-436b-4b88-b47c-5b876188d11f">Re: bar etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]i will also add that you shouldnt have a lot of other "frills" like an expensive dress, a limo, favors, a ginormous bridal party and an exotic honeymoon if you are going the cash bar route.  making people pay for booze is ok if its because you cant afford it.  making htem pay so you can have something nicer for yourselves is not ok.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

The dress and honeymoon are gifts

The wedding couple is skipping favors for that very reason.

The entire bridal party w/bride & groom is 10 people. Would it be more etiquette appropriate if the wedding party was smaller?

As far as the limo goes it is only $200 for 4 hours and the hard alcohol hosting started at $2000. Would it be best to cut the limo and use that money for something else?

Please don't take this the wrong way, honestly looking for as much advice and opinions as possible <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

SarahPLiz

I think you are fine, and I like the idea of listing what IS hosted. We are doing the same, with no option for hard liquor because it is not in the budget and no necessary for our crowd to feel adequately hosted. To add it would have cost us an extra bartender and an extra security guard, plus the cost of liquor. I totally understand. 

Pirata13

We had just beer, wine & soda. No compaints. I'd just go with that. I am not a fan of making guests pay for anything. Even though obviously they wouldn't "HAVE" to buy it, and opt for the hosted drinks, I think really host all or host limited with beer, wine & champagne.

hetshup

We had beer, wine and bubbly hosted. There was no hard liquor at all. We have a few family members who only drink jack and coke, so we informed them via word of mouth that there would be no liquor at the wedding. But only the people who didn't drink anything BUT that drink. They said it was fine and they would bring a flask.

FYI- We were caterered by Whole Foods, who does not serve traditional coke/pepsi products. We also made sure to let people know. If anything that is out of the norm for your area, it's best to let guests know via word of mouth.