Who gets an invitation

kmt_cas

We sent out STD's months ago.  FMIL is really against sending an invitation to people who already told us they can't come - she thinks it comes off as being gift grabby.  I'm under the understanding that everyone who got a STD needs to get an invitation.  You never know if plans will change.  What's right?

redheadfsu

STD = Invite.

Even if they said no already, it is a nice gesture to send an actual invite.  Also you are right you never know if their plans change.

sucrets4

You are.  You could always put a note in stating that you are aware that they have a prior commitment, but they are still invited in case their plans change.

tortis

If you sent them an STD, you should send them an invitation. I think you're right. At the time, maybe they couldn't attend, but yes, circumstances and plans change. They may be able to come by the time invites go out. It's not gift grabby (at least in my opinion). You are inviting them to celebrate with you and whatever gift they decide to give you- if any- is a personal choice for the guest.

Mrs.B6302007

Ditto Sucrets.  A handwritten note will take away the "gift grabby" feel by ensuring the guests that the invite still stands if their plans change.

sucrets4

B!  You're up late!  How has your vacation been so far?

beatlesgirl25

The purpose of STDs is not for you or your FMIL to get an idea of who is coming or not, they are for your intended guests to make plans ahead of time to attend your wedding. You have already chosen your guest list before you sent out STDs. Therefore, the invitation should be sent regardless of what people have said. And with your FMIL's logic, why wouldn't an STD seem just as gift grabby if the receiving party was not going to attend (not that I think any of these are gift grabby)?

Not getting an invite will only confuse your guests and will appear rude, like you've changed your mind or forgotten about them. People know they can check "will not attend," so just send the invites and don't worry about it.

kmt_cas

Thanks ladies!  Good point on the handwritten notes, I'll definitely make it a point to do that. 

Mrs.B6302007

Sookie: yeah, we just got home from a dinner/game night.  So far, so good.  Tomorrow's full of errands so it's ticking away quickly.  How about yours?

sucrets4

GL - hopefully that will appease FMIL. 

sucrets4

I can't believe vacation is almost over!    I've had a great time, but I don't want to leave.

My bro and sil and their 3 kid arrived on Sunday, so we've been busy with them.  They make the time fly, but it's all good because I love them so much.

I am not looking forward to 1/4!

Mrs.B6302007

Me either.  But....only about 12 weeks or so until Spring Break.

sucrets4

Good point!  Do you have MLK Jr. day off?  We don't get anything else (no Columbus Day, Election Day, etc.) but yet we get that one.  Weird, but I'm not complaining.

Mrs.B6302007

yeah, MLK day is off.  Not President's Day though.

sucrets4

Nice!

Alright, I think it's bedtime for me.  I'm sure my nephews will be up early bugging me to play with them. 

Night!

Mrs.B6302007

adios