Open Bar

peachiejean

I have been getting complaints about our lack of open bar. We are having an outdoor wedding and we are having beer and wine. I am starting to wonder if I missed something in the etiquette way of things. Meaning are weddings assumed to be open bar now? Come to think of it the last three weddings I went to were open bar..........

Also, one reason (other than cost) for not having open bar is that our wedding location is not easy to get to. It is out in the country and the easiest way is closed because a bridge is down. 

aragx6

Are the beer and wine hosted (i.e. paid for by you)? If so, what you're doing is perfectly fine. Whatever you provide must be paid for by you and guests shouldn't have to pay for anything, any alcohol included. That means a reception with cake and punch is perfectly fine (assuming it's at a non-meal time), but a reception where the guests have to pay for dinner or drinks is most assuredly not OK.

I'm not sure what the location has to do with it.

Mrs.B6302007

You're offering beer and wine.  That's sufficient. If people are complaining then they're rude.

ChristineNB

Perhaps your friends and guests are just used to open bars at weddings in the area.  There is nothing wrong with not having an open bar, people might just be surprised that you choose not to have one.

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-bar-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8275e8bf-c829-46be-a37d-c72968cf91afPost:48676bf5-4ac8-4c77-9353-202c3c1937b8">Re: Open Bar</a>:
[QUOTE]Perhaps your friends and guests are just used to open bars at weddings in the area.  There is nothing wrong with not having an open bar, people might just be surprised that you choose not to have one.
Posted by ChristineNB[/QUOTE]

I think I would be surprised but it certainly wouldn't bother me at all.  I don't remember ever attending a wedding without an open bar but there's certainly no reason you have too have one,  I think this could be a regional thing.

lyndausvi

I'm not sure about central PA, but I'm from eastern PA/DE area and all the weddings I've ever attended had full open bars.  It might be sad, but I do assume an open bar when I attend weddings, well because that's all I've ever had.

That said, those people complaining are being rude.   DH might be disappointed at the lack of vodka, but he would not call you rude or cheap.   I don't drink liquor so I would be a happy camper.

wrigleyville

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-bar-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8275e8bf-c829-46be-a37d-c72968cf91afPost:2a3c9bc7-49fd-4be6-bc89-9edf229529f1">Open Bar</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, one reason (other than cost) for not having open bar is that our wedding location is not easy to get to. It is out in the country and the easiest way is closed because a bridge is down. 
Posted by peachiejean[/QUOTE]
The only thing I can think of is that she means it would be difficult for taxis to get in/out with any frequency, but even that doesn't make sense since people can get drunk on beer/wine...

michellesean

I think that what OP means is that it would be difficult to bring all of the liquor/ booze, glasses and ice and mixers and whatever else is needed for an open bar (I'm clearly not a bartender, the only drink I know how to make is Run and Coke haha) to their site if the bridge is down.  I think that beer and wine is fine. 

I was planning on doing the same thing but my parents threw a fit.  So I said that if they wanted an open bar, they could pay for one but that FI and I were happy with Beer wine and champagne.  They decided to help us out with the bar.

peachiejean

There will be no reason to bring money to the wedding (we are not having a dollar dance either). We are providing beer, wine and a signature drink

Sorry I was not clear on the reason behind the location. We had trouble finding a caterer because of the location and they offered no bartender. Thank you very much for the replies. It has given me a lot to think about. I never realized how often weddings have open bar and I do not want to annoy my guests by not having one.

I am going to research more into this.

aurianna

I have been to more than one wedding with only beer and wine (at two in the last three years I'd say, including my BIL's [oh, and a dry one the year before]). Not rude at all. Maybe not everyone's cup of tea (I drink diet soda if there aren't mixed drinks), but still completely generous and completely acceptable.

Whoever is complaining is very rude, and I don't think I'd talk to them anymore about your wedding plans.

whitneymarie504

We are providing beer and wine as well as punch, soda, and bottled water. There will be a cash bar, which I am aware is a no-no. HOWEVER, our location has a staffed bar at all times as it is a bar, restaurant, and venue and therefore people will be able to go to the public bar during our reception if they so choose to do so (and I'm quite certain many will).

Katelyn89

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-bar-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8275e8bf-c829-46be-a37d-c72968cf91afPost:57756bb9-131e-473a-92e0-5ce91c02c9f8">Re: Open Bar</a>:
[QUOTE]I never expect an open bar at a wedding. I do expect there not to be a cash bar. You are hosting beer & wine and that is more than enough. If anyone has a problem with it, they are just rude.
Posted by SkettiHeadie[/QUOTE]



I agree that beer and wine is more than enough. I honestly had no idea that cash bars were against etiquette until I came in here. I have only ever been to one open bar, the rest have been cash (I live near Ottawa, Canada). We are doing beer, wine and a signature drink (sangria) and our families are quite surprised we are doing even that much.

mandi921vh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-bar-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8275e8bf-c829-46be-a37d-c72968cf91afPost:efa9ec43-6062-4130-ac30-11147f0078b9">Re: Open Bar</a>:
[QUOTE]You're offering beer and wine.  That's sufficient. <strong>If people are complaining then they're rude.</strong>
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

<div>Seriously.</div>

lanamilo

I think if you are offering beer and wine, you are just fine.

abbitha7

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-bar-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8275e8bf-c829-46be-a37d-c72968cf91afPost:c509fee3-aaf3-480e-accb-c7ecb5431b4d">Re: Open Bar</a>:
[QUOTE]We are providing beer and wine as well as punch, soda, and bottled water. There will be a cash bar, which I am aware is a no-no. HOWEVER, our location has a staffed bar at all times as it is a bar, restaurant, and venue and therefore people will be able to go to the public bar during our reception if they so choose to do so (and I'm quite certain many will).
Posted by whitneymarie504[/QUOTE]

I don't see anything wrong with that. Honestly, I've only been to one wedding with an open bar, so it's acceptable here. We're providing beer, wine, and all non-alc. The full bar will be open as well for people to buy from.