Open letters

AmoroAgain

Need to write an open letter?  Leave it and your frustrations, here.

pinkpinot

Dear Boss,

You're really annoying today. 

-Megan

AmoroAgain

Dear Body,

I'd be very appreciative of you getting over this "exhausted all the time" feeling.  It's annoying, and makes me feel funny.  You're getting plenty of lovely sleep-- there's no need to feel tired all day long.  It's making me not do the things I need to do, such as working off our ever-expanding ass, flabby arms, and certainly not beach ready stomach.

Thanks,
Me.

NuggetBrain

Dear Teeth,

You bitches better be satisfied after this round of dentistry, because if I have to cap anymore of you I swear to God I will just yank you out myself.

Nugs



Dear Minnesota,

Stop being so f*cking cold.  Seriously.

Nugs (and everybody else here)

pinkpinot

Dear Nugs,

Your letter made me laugh.  I needed that!

Thank you,
M

bbyckes

Dear Potential Future Employer,

Please call me to schedule an interview.  My qualifications matched verbatim to the listed requirements and my cover letter kicked asss.  Stop beating around the bush and contact me.  Better yet, just send an engagement letter, please and thank you.

Sincerely,

Me

jasmineh7777

Dear Neighbors,
I really have been trying to get alone with you lately. However, you need to stop letting your giant German Shepherd roam the neighborhood. He is massive and terrifying. In fact, he frequently will silently stalk me from my car to my gate. Also, he growled at FI the other day, and wants to eat the pomeranian next door.
You have a fence; figure out how to close the gate.

With great annoyance,
 Jasmine

opalsky007

Dear new advisor,

Thanks for that paper you said you'd send me three days ago. I really would have like to have that paper (and the numbers in it) three days ago, so I wouldn't have to do the last three days of work over again. This is pretty awesome, especially with that big fat deadline looming.

,
Opal

betrothed123

Dear snow,

Please start coming down really hard before I have to get up in the morning.  I'd love to be able to curl up on the couch with hot cocoa to work tomorrow instead of come in to the office.

Dear Coworker,

I hate you, and when the boss and I have a chance to sit down and discuss the issues I think you're going to be very unhappy with the results.

Dear cat,

You know I love you, but you're the cat and I'm, the human.  I paid for the bed, which gives me the right to sleep in it comfortably.  Please stop trying to take over the whole bed.  I swear if I wake up tonight curled up against the head board with you 2" from my legs again you're not getting wet food tomorrow night.

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-letters-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:827d7d0c-daad-40e0-a0d9-5c5e23fad1e8Post:936f343d-8c3a-4129-9baa-38de4fe64b89">Re: Open letters</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear Body, I'd be very appreciative of you getting over this "exhausted all the time" feeling.  It's annoying, and makes me feel funny.  You're getting plenty of lovely sleep-- there's no need to feel tired all day long.  It's making me not do the things I need to do, such as working off our ever-expanding ass, flabby arms, and certainly not beach ready stomach. Thanks, Me.
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

I know this sounds assbackward, but maybe try sleeping less? I've found that when I sleep for more than about 9 hours, I'm totally groggy all the next day.

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-letters-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:827d7d0c-daad-40e0-a0d9-5c5e23fad1e8Post:41a804b3-cf6a-42d9-89a7-76706eb3070c">Re: Open letters</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open letters : I know this sounds assbackward, but maybe try sleeping less? I've found that when I sleep for more than about 9 hours, I'm totally groggy all the next day.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

I set my alarm for 10 am every day, otherwise, i will never get up since I can't tell how late it is from inside our apartment.  Last night, I went to bed around 2.  :(

laurenclaire1386

(In the same vein as Amoro's)
Dear Brain (or whatever part of me controls motivation),

Please make me want to work out. Because really, I'd rather eat shiit and die than work out every day. But I'd also rather eat shiit and die than be a short, hefty, too chubby little bride. Whatever switch you need to click to make me motivated to not be sedentary, please switch it.

LC

[Deleted User]

Dear Ben,
Please stop being 5. I have to register for your kindergarten tomorrow and it makes me realize you really are a big boy. I'm so proud of you, but I want you to be a baby forever. Can we work that out?
Love,
Mommy

MissLeahM

Dear Money in the bank,

Please multiply.

-Leah

Dear Neighbour,

Stop taking my effing parking spot, I swear to god one of these sunny days I will take a piece of bologna and throw it on your crappy little honda civc.

-Leah

mandapanda78

Dear Employer,

If I had been given full disclosure on the requirements of this job, I would never have accepted it. I bring value to this company, but you're going to lose me if you keep treating me like a secretary.

Love and kisses,

Amanda

Stackeye210

Dear Capri -

Please change your letter to reflect it is from Mr Stack - because that's what I want to happen with his recent job application

Thanks so much,
Stack

jasmineh7777

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-letters-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:827d7d0c-daad-40e0-a0d9-5c5e23fad1e8Post:919a64e4-0df5-4fc1-a73e-92589f79d123">Re: Open letters</a>:
[QUOTE]. Dear cat, You know I love you, but you're the cat and I'm, the human.  I paid for the bed, which gives me the right to sleep in it comfortably.  Please stop trying to take over the whole bed.  I swear if I wake up tonight curled up against the head board with you 2" from my legs again you're not getting wet food tomorrow night.
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

I have the dog version of your cat. (Does that make sense?) Lately Jessie has decided that she wants to cuddle. So, she comes up to my pillow, and sits her 60lb ass on my head.

kikibaby

Dear Dog,

If you ever poop on the bed again, I'm shipping you to Timbuktu.

Love, Linz

andyandhillary

Dear Roommate,

I know your life is hard right now.  It really is.  Your complaints are tots legit.  BUT if you refuse to do anything about them then stop bitching.  DO NOT complain about your job and your lack of pay when you just turned down a great job opportunity.  Man up. 

Annoyed,
Roommate

jasmineh7777

Dear Hormones,
Go back to normal, and quit making me eat all this junk food.
-Jasmine


Dear self,
Quit  making up excused for your poor food choices this week. You aren't even hungry, you are just bored. Get off your ass and start working out again.
-Jasmine

[Deleted User]

Dear roommates,

Move out. 

Thanks,
andressfrank

laurenclaire1386

Capri, I have a question for you. Do you pronounce your name like Capri, as like Capri Sun or capri pants? I always mentally pronounce it without an accent on the a, like the Italian island. Like Cap-ri.

NuggetBrain

Dear Noodle,

Stop trying to save everything I want to throw out for this damn move.  The manicure set you're insisting is "awesome" sat in the back of the cabinet, unused, for 5 years.  The two laptops you're going to "fix up" sat on the top of the closet shelf, untouched, for 3 years.  You know damn well you're not going to use any of this stuff.  STOP BEING A PACK RAT AND LET ME THROW THIS SH*T OUT.

Love,
Nugs

bbyckes

Sent on behalf of Mr. Stacks.

Dear Potential Future Employer,

Please call me to schedule an interview.  My qualifications matched verbatim to the listed requirements and my cover letter kicked asss.  Stop beating around the bush and contact me.  Better yet, just send an engagement letter, please and thank you.

Sincerely,

Mr. Stacks

I hope he gets a call soon.  

FutureMrsTR

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-letters-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:827d7d0c-daad-40e0-a0d9-5c5e23fad1e8Post:8d57a654-462b-42d9-b761-859db0867ae9">Re: Open letters</a>:
[QUOTE]Capri, I have a question for you. Do you pronounce your name like Capri, as like Capri Sun or capri pants? I always mentally pronounce it without an accent on the a, like the Italian island. Like Cap-ri.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

haha I'm feeling kind of ignorant because I pronounce Capri Sun the same way I would pronounce capri pants.  With the emphasis on the 'ri'

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-letters-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:827d7d0c-daad-40e0-a0d9-5c5e23fad1e8Post:03b13872-1e82-42d2-8bdf-d74a0f77b233">Re: Open letters</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open letters : I have the dog version of your cat. (Does that make sense?) Lately Jessie has decided that she wants to cuddle. So, she comes up to my pillow, and sits her 60lb ass on my head.
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]
Yes, it makes perfect sense.  My cat has been known to do that (thankfully he only weighs about 13 pounds).  He normally sleeps either in my arms or between H and I.  for some reason last night he started at my feet, and kept trying to move closer and closer.  As he did so he slowly started pushing me up the bed.  I woke up with pretty much my entire body curled up on my pillow and he was stretched out about where my chest would have been had I been laying the way I normally do.

Stackeye210

Dear LaurenClaire

 - I pronounce Capri Suns and Capri Pants exactly the same.  I'm so confused how you say them differently.  LOL.

Hugs from the midwest
Stacks

RachNRich

Dear Toledo and Mother Nature,

It's too damn cold outside. And all of this snow? Why? Fix it. Now.

xoxo,
Rach

Dear Rich,
Please find a solution to your suit not fitting. You have 8 days...and at this point, you could wear purple and I wouldn't care, so long as you aren't standing naked at the alter.
looooove,
Rach

MeaghanandMichael

Dear Snow,

Either snow enough so that I can work from home tomorrow (aka sleep in), or don't snow at all.
I prefer the second as I am scheduled for a big meeting with my boss about a promotion/raise!

Cordially,
Meg

laurenclaire1386

Ok, I wasn't clear. I prounounce Capri sun and capri pants the same way. I just meant to give two examples.

FutureMrsTR

Dear Stacks,

Thanks for making me feel like less of an idiot.

Cheers!
TR