Honeymoon Registry Tacky?

squirrly

My mom thinks they're great.  I think they're horrible.  My reasoning?  I want to give YOU a gift.  A HM registry keeps a portion of what I might contribute, and I didn't intend to give their company a gift - just you.  If I want to give you cash to use on your HM, I'll hit the ATM, not your HM registry.  The fact that you do or don't have one won't change that for me. 

zippityb

Call me paranoid, but I'd be afraid that they wouldn't make good on all the experiences people bought and there would be no recourse. At least with a normal registry, you get a tangible item.

kikibaby

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8360b71c-cc8c-4b66-a1b6-59355176be25Post:3968f655-2b62-4f5e-a098-e4f1dbcc6ba7">Re: Honeymoon Registry Tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Tacky? : Haha, really. We live together, so, we can have all the sex we want at home. We'd rather be out in about in a new place. I know we're totally not the norm though, haha.
Posted by btrflykate1230[/QUOTE]

Right with ya, Kate.  We have lived together for over 3 years, and go on at least 2 vacations a year.  Our HM is just a normal vacation.  Although FI will be sorely disappointed to know that I don't plan on having sex 24/7.

smokeybailey

Meh, I don't care.  It doesn't bother me, but Squirrly is right, you don't get the full benefit of whatever I contribute.

And for those that think that honeymoon registries are bad because people may have sex during said trip do you also not buy towels, sheets, blankets, clothes, throw pillows, etc. because there may be sex or something sexual in nature going on there? 

zippityb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8360b71c-cc8c-4b66-a1b6-59355176be25Post:a7f25a64-d64a-410c-beb5-f401ce7ad10b">Re: Honeymoon Registry Tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE] And for those that think that honeymoon registries are bad because people may have sex during said trip do you also not buy towels, sheets, blankets, clothes, throw pillows, etc. because there may be sex or something sexual in nature going on there? 
Posted by smokeybailey[/QUOTE]

Don't forget those kinky, kinky spatulas.

kikibaby

Oh, and you don't even WANT to know what I did with my Kitchenaid mixer the other night...

andyandhillary

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8360b71c-cc8c-4b66-a1b6-59355176be25Post:0e8d506a-f887-4199-a04b-ff9e378f40b9">Re: Honeymoon Registry Tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]Just register at BBB and return everything for cash.  I'm not trying to be mean or anything.  Just sayin'.
Posted by ZRex[/QUOTE]

What?!?!  That's rude and tacky of you.  I would be pretty confused/offended if I got a couple a full dish set and I go to their house only to see that they returned my gift for money. 

smokeybailey

I almost included kitchen utensils here but thought better of it. 

kikibaby

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8360b71c-cc8c-4b66-a1b6-59355176be25Post:f86ea622-113e-4bb4-bf8a-c963e645cefe">Re: Honeymoon Registry Tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]I almost included kitchen utensils here but thought better of it. 
Posted by smokeybailey[/QUOTE]

Prude.

JFH2010

My first experience with a HM registry was when a good friend of mine had one for her wedding.  My thought was, Fantastic!! I would MUCH rather buy her and her husband a dinner in Greece than a food processor.  Thank goodness I hadn't been on the knot at that point, so I didn't realize how incredibly tacky it is!!! Seriously, if you think it's tacky, don't do it.  If you don't think it's tacky, and you'd rather travel than have another set of mixing bowls, go for it.

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8360b71c-cc8c-4b66-a1b6-59355176be25Post:0c3df206-027f-4a9b-8c18-1d30e607789a">Re: Honeymoon Registry Tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Tacky? : Really? DH and I basically planned our HM around the idea that we wanted to have as much sex as possible for 2 weeks.
Posted by ac_in_dc[/QUOTE]

No wonder you got knocked up so fast!  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />

Kristin789

Wedding gifts are supposed to be wonderful and heartfelt and long-lasting, mirroring the giver's fervent hope that the couple's marriage be wonderful and heartfelt and long-lasting.

By inviting these people to your wedding, you've asked your friends and family to be witnesses to your wedding ceremony, and as witnesses, those people are mentors for your marriage. Their gifts represent their acceptance of your request for their mentorship, and their gifts represent their presence in your lives and hearts forever.

When you see/use these gifts, you are reminded that you have a circle of people around you as a couple, people who you can call on, people who have pledged their support of you two as a couple. The following ideas do not match with what a wedding gift is supposed to represent, and in fact, just demand that people give you money instead of a wedding gift:  a downpayment registry, a honeymoon registry, a “donation” to your fav charity, a money dance, a money tree, a greenback wedding or shower (where the guests bring cash), a plastic wedding or shower (where the guests bring gift cards), or an outright request for cash.

smokeybailey

I know that this thread is long dead but I disagree with Kristin.  I can guarantee you that the memories from my travels (including a honeymoon) outweigh any memory that I get when I pulse some cilantro in my magic bullet. 

In fact, my mother just offered to pick up our suite at the Wynn for my BF's b-day gift.  Yeah, she could buy him another chocolate fountain or something similar but I guarantee you that the weekend that we spend in Vegas will be chock full of memories and pics and we will have my mom to thank.

So you can put your "ideas that do not match what a wedding gift is supposed to represent" in the pipe you registered for and smoke it.

clynnwatson

I have one and I have one at BBB.  We've lived together for many years and for a wedding of 200 guests, there is no way we could even possible put enough "upgrades" on the list for people to pick from.  We are very blessed and have very nice birthdays and holidays where we are gifted beautiful upgrades.  In leiu of recieving a second bedspread that would sit in our closet [I don't want to waste anyone's money/generosity]. 

So we made one.  So far we've had 45 people gift us off of the honeymoon registry and 2 off of the BBB.  I also fully intend to use the gift for the activity which it was intended for and take pictures to send to the guest who gave it.  Everyone we've spoken too, or who has saught us out, loves it and shares the sentiment that it's an amazing idea and they wish it'd been around when they got married.

I guess it depends on the crowd - I'm just glad my crowd likes it! 

nackiejichole

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8360b71c-cc8c-4b66-a1b6-59355176be25Post:1bb1f49c-87aa-4463-86d6-6b5ebf91f001">Re: Honeymoon Registry Tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]I know that this thread is long dead but I disagree with Kristin.  I can guarantee you that the memories from my travels (including a honeymoon) outweigh any memory that I get when I pulse some cilantro in my magic bullet.  In fact, my mother just offered to pick up our suite at the Wynn for my BF's b-day gift.  Yeah, she could buy him another chocolate fountain or something similar but I guarantee you that the weekend that we spend in Vegas will be chock full of memories and pics and we will have my mom to thank. So you can put your "ideas that do not match what a wedding gift is supposed to represent" in the pipe you registered for and smoke it.
Posted by smokeybailey[/QUOTE]

I agree!

We registered for our HM. This was suggested to us by several people who will be attending our wedding. The group of people that will be invited to the shower have all been to our home for one of our many gatherings and can see that there isn't anything we possibly need. That is why it was suggested to us. For those people who may think it is tacky and would choose to not contribute that is fine. That is not why we are inviting them anyway. We chose a destination within our price range and already paid our deposit so if needed we can pay the remainder of what is due.

We are not "asking for money". We are simply giving people an option because some insist on getting you something. There couldn't possibly be anything more than special than the time we will get to spend together as husband and wife. He works alot and never has the time to take a long vacation and soon after the wedding we plan on trying for babies. This may be the only trip we take alone together for quite some time. When we return we plan on sending Thank you cards with a pic enclosed from our trip and we will tell them how thankful we are for our wonderful HM and all the memories we made because of it. If I was the guest and I received that I would feel my gift was alot more meaningful and special then getting someone a toaster or china that they will probably never use but they registered for it because that's what you are "supposed" to do.

The only people that will even know where we are registered will be our close family and friends that are invited to the shower unless it is passed on by word of mouth. We are not ASKING for anything.

We registered through our local travel agency and there is not a fee that will be kept from any of our guests "gifts". We took care of any fees when we paid the deposit.

I say go for it if that is really what you want to do. No matter what there will probably be some negative guest that dislikes something about your wedding. I have been to so many different kinds of weddings and showers and from reading all these posts I guess I should have been put off by so many things. I wasn't. None of those things even crossed my mind. I was happy for the couple and that was the only thing I was focused on.