Bridal Shower invitees

midge627

Who typically gets invited to the Bridal Shower?

StephBeanWed61502

I don't know that there's a "typical" guest list - the only rule of etiquette that I am aware of is that anyone invited to the bridal shower must also be invited to the wedding.  With all of that said, I've seen a variety of shower guest lists, ranging from:

1. Every female guest invited to the wedding (this was enormous and ridiculous, I don't think it's a good idea unless your wedding invite list is small)
2. Members of the bride & groom's extended families + bridesmaids
3. Just the closest family and friends
4. Bride has two showers - one thrown by bride's "side" and one thrown by groom's "side" (I kind of think this is a little excessive as well, unless the bride and groom's families live far apart or something, so that it would be difficult to host a shower in a location convenient for everyone).

At the end of the day, the guest list is up to the host(s) and is determined by what they can afford and are comfortable with hosting.

midge627

What about out of staters?

aragx6

I think inviting close family and friends who are OOT is fine -- as long, of course, as you don't expect them to come. Out-of-town folks with whom you have more tenuous bonds are more iffy -- obviously you don't want to come across as gift grabby!

LittleMissCutiePie

Invite all the females that are close to you that you are inviting to the wedding. No one gets an invite without a wedding invite as well, or else you just seem gift-grabby. Invite any out-of-staters that you want, just be prepared to have the actually come. Courtesy invites are not recommended for any event, wedding or otherwise, because you can balloon your budget without even trying.

dramaqueen91087

I'm doing two. One for my moms side of the family, with everyone in the family, men and women, there. They are all spread out and all OOT so this made more sense. The other is for FIs family, dads side, and my friends, only people I'm close to certainly not everyone invited to the wedding.

gananoque

I think it's okay to invite out of towners if they're close. I've been invited to showers and similar events that there was no way I could make it to and I'm always pleased to be included (as opposed to annoyed by feeling like it's expected of me to travel, etc.)

If someone is a close relative or best friend, they're going to feel good about being included and you never know - sometimes people can surprise you and make it to events just because they want to be there!

The people I would caution against inviting are gals like male friends' parnters with whom you don't have a real relationship. I hear friends complaining all the time about having to go to showers for their husbands' friends' girlfriends/wives or their male friends' girlfriends/wives with whom they're not super close and whose friends and family they don't know. If a woman is being invited to your wedding really as more of a date or "plus one" I would leave them off the shower invite list.

sarahshep

Does working and living on the ship make a difference inviting co-workers who I didn't invite to the wedding? I don't want to seem gift grabby at all, but why not have more of a celebration with all the women that I work and live with who are together now? Most of my co-workers live in England or Australia, and my wedding is in NH in May. Not a lot of people will even be able to make the real wedding. Thoughts?

Sarah

TheSweetestDay2012

My wedding is in 29 days. We've been engaged for over a year. I am 33, only child, pretty much paying for 80% of the wedding. I thought that it was okay to invite any of my lady friends to my bridal shower, including ladies that I did not invite to the wedding, due to my budget. I had my hostess, who is my co-worker and friend, invite all of the ladies from our office. I only invited the all of my bosses to the wedding, aside from my 2 co-worker/friends who are also my bridesmaids. It's a family owned and operated company. One of my bosses was the first person I told about my engagement, as my fiance proposed to me on my lunch hour. After reading other posts regarding Bridal Shower invitee etiquette, not inviting anyone that was not invited to the wedding, I feel kind of like a jackass. I thought it was okay for me to invite all of the ladies from my office, which is like my 2nd home. My reasoning was that although I could not afford to invite everyone to the wedding, I at least wanted to have all of the ladies in my life at the shower. This was my way of including them in this most special occasion of my life. I didn't think it was tacky. I thought of it kind of like a baby shower. You don't invite everyone to the birth, but you do invite everyone to the shower. Now I'm worried that some of my co-workers might think I'm "gift-grabby", as one person commented. Ah well. I just didn't want any of my co-workers to feel left out of the celebration at my Bridal Shower.