Wedding/vow renewal???

tntonywedding

Ok well the husband and I eloped in Vegas when I was 19 years ago.  We had a 3wk old and my mom really pushed the issue that we should be married.  It was a very unpleasant experience as it wasn't what either of us wanted.  Recently my brother and younger sisters got married and all my family (relatives, in laws, parents) can talk about is how we should have a wedding.  Hubby and I want to do an actual ceremony wedding and have been talking about it for the last couple years.  We don't want any gifts and it would be a family only event (but I've got a lot of family). 
We live so far away from everyone that we would like to do an event where they live.  I talked to my grandma and sister about it and they're both really excited.  I know lots of ppl do vow renewals years after having a ceremony so I kinda was wanting to do this the other way around.  Any ideas on what not to do?  Obviously no veil but I do want a simple dress.  We are doing a ceremony and reception.

achiduck

I don't think there's anything you shouldn't do, except call it a wedding. It's not - you're already married. This is a Vow Renewal. I'd say keep the ceremony short and enjoy the party with your friends and family. 

redheadfsu

A vow renewal is fine.

Just have a simple dress, simple cake, no first dance, no garter toss, etc. No wedding stuff/ tone it down. Just have a fun party where you renew your vows. Do not think wedding, just think party.

SilverLining1

The only problem that I have with vow renewals is when people try to call it a wedding. I also think the term "vow renewal" is silly. More like a "vow reaffirmation" or something :P

Anyway, I think it's kind of silly if a woman wears a big poofy dress, has a wedding party, and just generally acts like they aren't already married (I know those things aren't related). I think that simple ceremonies that focus on the man and woman (plus children, if you wish) are the most tasteful. I would also prefer to go to a mature gathering with food and good company than a big blowout party that you might see for a reception.

Those are just my opinons. Really, you're fine unless you try to trick your guests into thinking that this is a "wedding". Good luck!

DramaGeek

Most people do it on or near a big anniversary - 10, 20, etc.  My parents did one for their 40th and it was really nice.  Very small, with just family and close friends, I think around 40 people in all.  There was a short ceremony which our pastor did.  My mom wore a simple blue dress, Dad wore a suit, and there was no wedding party.  The ceremony part was very short and simple, maybe 10 minutes total.  Mom and Dad did get each other a corsage and boutinere, but otherwise there were no flowers.  They didn't hire a photographer or videographer.

After the ceremony we had dinner and everyone chatted.  The cake was a sheet cake from Costco, and it was delicious!  There was no formal cake cutting, we just cut the cake and passed it around as people finished dinner.  I gave a short toast during dessert, and then everyone mingled and chatted until it was time to go home.  

I hope that helps you a bit!

tcjames

We're doing a vow renewal August 2012 and we're doing it all. Big white gown, WP, first dance, invitations etc. We're paying for it so I don't care what people say should or should not be done. How can fool somebody if they know your married already...LOL the crap that comes outta ppl mouths!!!! Now with that outta the way. I do realize that this is a vow renewal and not a first time wedding so we have tweaked those things considered for a first time wedding. Ex. No bouquet & garter toss instead giving watch sets to shortest & longest married couple with a few inspirational words. and we did not register for gifts, plus a few other things.

Do whatever you like your paying for it, so plan what you DH wants. Plus if your family is suggesting you renew your vows I'm quite sure they want you have very nice day and may even push for the " BIG WHITE WEDDING'!!

 

redheadfsu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_weddingvow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:83d8abd9-0bc2-421b-9bd0-2657336a8d4bPost:35a17d59-8f54-46d2-a15f-a3d3161a237c">Re: Wedding/vow renewal???</a>:
[QUOTE]We're doing a vow renewal August 2012 and we're doing it all. Big white gown, WP, first dance, invitations etc. <strong>We're paying for it so I don't care what people say should or should not be done.</strong> How can fool somebody if they know your married already...<strong>LOL the crap that comes outta ppl mouths</strong>!!!! Now with that outta the way. I do realize that this is a vow renewal and not a first time wedding so we have tweaked those things considered for a first time wedding. Ex. No bouquet & garter toss instead giving watch sets to shortest & longest married couple with a few inspirational words. and we did not register for gifts, plus a few other things. <strong>Do whatever you like</strong> your paying for it, so plan what you DH wants. Plus if your family is suggesting you renew your vows I'm quite sure they want you have very nice day and may even push for the " BIG WHITE WEDDING'!!  
Posted by tcjames[/QUOTE]

That's fine for you. You don't care if people judge/ talk about you. The OP asked for advice so people wouldn't judge her. So the "YOUR DAY" crap is not what she asked for.

tcjames

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_weddingvow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:83d8abd9-0bc2-421b-9bd0-2657336a8d4bPost:5092dd4a-d323-424b-83a7-4fea52347594">Re: Wedding/vow renewal???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding/vow renewal??? : That's fine for you. You don't care if people judge/ talk about you. The OP asked for advice so people wouldn't judge her. So the "YOUR DAY" crap is not what she asked for.
Posted by redheadfsu[/QUOTE]

Wow thats what you got from that!!!!

redheadfsu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_weddingvow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:83d8abd9-0bc2-421b-9bd0-2657336a8d4bPost:71f66b95-e3ea-4223-9933-97bb167f7329">Re: Wedding/vow renewal???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding/vow renewal??? : Wow thats what you got from that!!!!
Posted by tcjames[/QUOTE]

You said do you not care what people think. That you are paying for it so who cares.

Yes, that is what I got because it was what you wrote. Maybe you should re-read your post.

Brandiewine11

You already had a wedding, so don't act like this is a wedding. Call it a vow renewal or whatever. Don't wear  a big white dress, no bridesmaids, etc. Focus more on the celebration. As long as you don't pretend its a wedding, you're fine. Enjoy!

j_jaye

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_weddingvow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:83d8abd9-0bc2-421b-9bd0-2657336a8d4bPost:35a17d59-8f54-46d2-a15f-a3d3161a237c">Re: Wedding/vow renewal???</a>:
[QUOTE]We're doing a vow renewal August 2012 and we're doing it all. Big white gown, WP, first dance, invitations etc. We're paying for it so I don't care what people say should or should not be done. <strong>How can fool somebody if they know your married already...LOL the crap that comes outta ppl mouths!!!!</strong> Now with that outta the way. I do realize that this is a vow renewal and not a first time wedding so we have tweaked those things considered for a first time wedding. Ex. No bouquet & garter toss instead giving watch sets to shortest & longest married couple with a few inspirational words. and we did not register for gifts, plus a few other things. Do whatever you like your paying for it, so plan what you DH wants. Plus if your family is suggesting you renew your vows I'm quite sure they want you have very nice day and may even push for the " BIG WHITE WEDDING'!!  
Posted by tcjames[/QUOTE]

Just an FYI a lot of posters come to the forums and say they were married (JOP/courthouse  for various reasons etc) and now want a pretty princess day and have not informed guests that they are already married. So I would suggest reading a few more posts on this board before commenting on what comes out of peoples mouths.

tcjames

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_weddingvow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:83d8abd9-0bc2-421b-9bd0-2657336a8d4bPost:f75c21b0-5dd1-4afd-8f81-f55d71934b52">Re: Wedding/vow renewal???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding/vow renewal??? : Just an FYI a lot of posters come to the forums and say they were married (JOP/courthouse  for various reasons etc) and now want a pretty princess day and have not informed guests that they are already married. So I would suggest reading a few more posts on this board before commenting on what comes out of peoples mouths.
Posted by j_jaye[/QUOTE]

I always stay within the blog  so I'm only speaking on this post. She clearly states she married!

tcjames

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_weddingvow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:83d8abd9-0bc2-421b-9bd0-2657336a8d4bPost:33a6e8ad-b424-47d8-9a29-b41fd269e6eb">Re: Wedding/vow renewal???</a>:
[QUOTE]Me, too.  TCJames, your attitude stinks.  If you don't care what people think, then why give advice to someone who does care?  Do over weddings are super tacky.
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

<font color="#ff0000"><strong>I</strong></font><font color="#ff0000"><strong> do realize that this is a vow renewal and not a first time wedding so we have tweaked those things considered for a first time wedding. Ex. No bouquet & garter toss instead giving watch sets to shortest & longest married couple with a few inspirational words. and we did not register for gifts, plus a few other things
</strong>
</font><font color="#000000">Looks like good sound advice for a vow renewal to me...</font>

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_weddingvow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:83d8abd9-0bc2-421b-9bd0-2657336a8d4bPost:1eb6b670-8588-4058-b4de-4d4be245e78e">Re: Wedding/vow renewal???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding/vow renewal??? : I do realize that this is a vow renewal and not a first time wedding so we have tweaked those things considered for a first time wedding. Ex. No bouquet & garter toss instead giving watch sets to shortest & longest married couple with a few inspirational words. and we did not register for gifts, plus a few other things Looks like good sound advice for a vow renewal to me...
Posted by tcjames[/QUOTE]


That isn't really advice.  It's telling what you're doing.  It's great that you're not doing a bouquet or garter toss but saying that you're not doing them isn't advice.

thesequel

OP - it sounds like you understand what a vow renewal is actually about.  Enjoy your day...just don't call it a wedding.  Focus on spending the day with your family.