When is it appropriate to deposit checks you receive as gifts on your wedding day?

courtneyandtimothy

When is it appropriate to deposit checks you receive as gifts on your wedding day?  I attended a wedding a few months ago and it took the bride and groom 3 months to deposit the check I gave them, which was a tad annoying.  On the other hand, I have had friends that have been to weddings and the couple has deposited the checks less than 24 hours after they have said their vows, and those people thought it was rude.  I feel funny asking this, but iss there an appropriate amount of time to do this?

loop0406

I've seen brides/grooms give their parents their checks to deposit during the week when they're on their honeymoon.

We're getting married on a Sat and honeymoon on Monday so will probably use the drive-through deposit Sunday (day before our HM), don't want to risk losing them and extra funds for honeymoon expenses is always welcomed.

[Deleted User]

I am not sure if there is an "appropriate time," but I will tell you what we did: we deposited all of our checks (bc we hadn't opened half of the cards yet) when we got back from the HM. We left for the HM the day after the wedding and deposited them then. We obviously didn't have a chance to before.

I would say that as long as the couple is married, it is okay to deposit them. The checks we received at our house (for guests that did not come) we waited to deposit those until after the wedding. I hate it when people hold checks bc then it throws off your checkbook.

beerstaches

i think it's rude of them to think it's rude. it's like saying "I want to give this to you right now but i don't want you to have it right now.. don't even think about needing it or using it for something special until have had a few days to finish giving it to you"

i appreciate when people deposit my checks in a timely manner.

FutureMrsTR

We left for our honeymoon the Monday after our wedding so we did ours when we got back  We were unsure about the names and signing them so we didn't want to do them in an ATM deposit on the Sunday before we left.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Personally, I feel like I want to send the TY note before I cash them. I'm not going to wait for them to GET the TY note, I just want it to be in the mailbox, at least. Which is incentive to write all my TY notes, really. I'm hoping to deposit them a day or two after the wedding and use some fund on the honeymoon.

squirrly

We deposited ours when we got back from the HM.  All the gifts went home from the wedding with my parents, and we didn't.  We went to the hotel.  The next day we had several hours until we caught the flight, but there were lots of people around and no appropriate time to open gifts, so that waited until we got back.

parker624

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_appropriate-deposit-checks-receive-gifts-wedding-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:840d40f2-4be9-437f-89ab-f188b87c23b4Post:64ea7a61-de11-4594-91a9-97dc67986839">Re: When is it appropriate to deposit checks you receive as gifts on your wedding day?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm in the "as soon as possible"camp, personally. We cashed ours the Monday after the wedding at our local hometown branch. Thank God we did, because the branch where we live wouldn't cash them, because many were written to Mr & Mrs Newlastname. Mrs Newlastname didn't legally exist yet, (we had to wait for our marriage certificate from the gov't to officially change my name, the marriage statement from the church wasn't enough). ETA: This may have had something to do with why your friends didn't cash your cheque right away. Life would have been so much easier if the cheques were made out to only DH or to Mr OR Mrs Newlastname.
Posted by mrs.jesse[/QUOTE]

My bank (chase) told me that if they were being deposited into a joint account, either could sign and it was OK for me to sign with my new last name.  Another option is for you to write "for deposit only" on the back.  The bank also told me I could sign Parker Maiden Name and then Parker Married Name.  It hasn't been a problem with the many checks we've received to Mr. and Mrs. Married Name.

We cashed our checks immediately. 

tenofcups4me

I don't see anything wrong with depositing them as soon as it's convenient to do it. My ex- and I did it when we returned from our honeymoon, which was about 10 days later. But if we'd delayed going on a honeymoon, we would have done it the next business day. 

I think 3 months is a really long time, but like a PP mentioned,  maybe they had some sort of problem depositing them.  

strlzfan11

I'd say as soon as possible depending on your bank's policy.  Some banks are stricter than others especially if they don't know the customer by name.  At my old job I used to have to take checks to the bank at least 3x a week to deposit.  Because of this, all of the tellers knew me by sight so I opened up a rainy day account there but kept my other account at my personal bank.  If I walked into my personal bank today to cash a check, etc. I'd have to whip out ID because I'm never in there.  They don't know me from Adam.

iamjoesgurl

When we got our marriage license (shortly after returning from the HM), we went to my bank to deposit the checks.  They would not let us deposit them because DH was not on the account and his name was on the checks.  They would not accept his driver's license to add him to the account because it was an out of state DL.  We had to go to another banking institution (actually a credit union), open an account in both of our names and then deposit the checks. 

I personally think that if I gave a check to a newly married couple and they didn't cash it within a month of the wedding, I would start to worry a bit about whether they actually received the check.

And I've learned to put the groom's full name, the brides maiden name or both  the groom's name and the bride's maiden name on the check.  No more "Mr and Mrs. (married name)".

megk8oz

We deposited ours the day after the wedding. It just made the most sense to us. DH works in banking, I work in insurance. We've both heard so many different horror stories over the years that it made us both incredibly paranoid about having $10,000+ in checks "just lying around".  We left for our HM the day after the wedding, and God forbid somebody robbed us or the house caught fire while we were gone ... we really didn't want to worry about the money being "safe" while we were away.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_appropriate-deposit-checks-receive-gifts-wedding-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:840d40f2-4be9-437f-89ab-f188b87c23b4Post:26e5d55d-93d5-4c75-a121-bfa460a656cd">Re: When is it appropriate to deposit checks you receive as gifts on your wedding day?</a>:
[QUOTE]When we got our marriage license (shortly after returning from the HM), we went to my bank to deposit the checks.  They would not let us deposit them because DH was not on the account and his name was on the checks.  They would not accept his driver's license to add him to the account because it was an out of state DL.  We had to go to another banking institution (actually a credit union), open an account in both of our names and then deposit the checks. <strong> I personally think that if I gave a check to a newly married couple and they didn't cash it within a month of the wedding, I would start to worry a bit about whether they actually received the check. And I've learned to put the groom's full name, the brides maiden name or both  the groom's name and the bride's maiden name on the check.  No more "Mr and Mrs. (married name)".</strong>
Posted by iamjoesgurl[/QUOTE]

Yes, I got a check last week (early wedding gift from someone who can't come) and thankfully she just made it out to me. So I can easily cash it and stash it in savings account until after the wedding, when we decide what to do with our monetary gifts.

[Deleted User]

I have adapted the practice of writing the check to only the bride or the groom. It maikes it easier because it takes some time to have the bride change her name legally so she may have trouble cashing checks writted to Mr. & Mrs. Lastname or Firstname new last name. Write it to the groom or the bride's maiden name.

Also, cash as soon as possible so the gift giver's checking account can be balanced.

Theresa626

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_appropriate-deposit-checks-receive-gifts-wedding-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:840d40f2-4be9-437f-89ab-f188b87c23b4Post:12e4126a-3548-423d-944a-a2cb83b602e0">Re: When is it appropriate to deposit checks you receive as gifts on your wedding day?</a>:
[QUOTE]i think it's rude of them to think it's rude. it's like saying "I want to give this to you right now but i don't want you to have it right now.. don't even think about needing  it or using  it for something special until have had a few days to finish giving it to you" i appreciate when people deposit my checks in a timely manner.
Posted by beerstaches[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Totatally agreed.  WTH is what I thought.  Deposit them when you feel like but don't wait months.  Now THAT is rude</div>

bonnyandtim

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_appropriate-deposit-checks-receive-gifts-wedding-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:840d40f2-4be9-437f-89ab-f188b87c23b4Post:12e4126a-3548-423d-944a-a2cb83b602e0">Re: When is it appropriate to deposit checks you receive as gifts on your wedding day?</a>:
[QUOTE]i think it's rude of them to think it's rude. it's like saying "I want to give this to you right now but i don't want you to have it right now.. don't even think about needing  it or using  it for something special until have had a few days to finish giving it to you" <strong>i appreciate when people deposit my checks in a timely manner.</strong>
Posted by beerstaches[/QUOTE]

Yes, so I can check my checkbook.

2dBride

Immediately is the best choice.  That way, the guest doesn't end up unable to balance the checkbook for the next three months.  And there is less chance that checks will get lost.

jakstr0808

Does everybody that's having issues with who the check is written to go to small local banks?

We've gotten several checks now written to "FI name & Myname Newlastname" and have had no issues depositing them at Bank of America.  I just usually have FI sign and deposit them because it's his last name.  But still no issues that my first name is on the check.