Best man refuses to come?

runpipparun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-refuses-to-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8430f199-aac1-4747-8cb5-7ad56b5fd9b3Post:0618211b-2a25-4738-8686-1f03ac3311d8">Re: Best man refuses to come?</a>:
[QUOTE]Since no one has asked and just assumes you're a bitch....was he dating the girl when you sent invites out? As etiquette dictates....only parties the invitie is addressed to are invited. If he wasn't dating her then and the invite is addresses the Mr. Best Man....then I think he's in the wrong. You can't go " Oh, when I got the invite I was single and ow I'm it so I should get to bring her" when she wasn't in the picture then.
Posted by tkddddddddd[/QUOTE]

<div>No, this is incorrect. He is not a regular guest at the wedding, like Crazy Uncle Steve who wants to bring the lady he met at a bar last month. He is an attendant who is contribute to the wedding in certain ways. Courtesy really demands that he be allowed to bring his girlfriend of several months. The same goes for other attendants. It's particularly true of spouses, partners, and live-in girlfriends/boyfriends.</div>

AceTT

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-refuses-to-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8430f199-aac1-4747-8cb5-7ad56b5fd9b3Post:83715f75-2574-4ded-8279-a416176faa75">Re: Best man refuses to come?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Best man refuses to come? : No, this is incorrect. He is not a regular guest at the wedding, like Crazy Uncle Steve who wants to bring the lady he met at a bar last month. He is an attendant who is contribute to the wedding in certain ways. Courtesy really demands that he be allowed to bring his girlfriend of several months. The same goes for other attendants. It's particularly true of spouses, partners, and live-in girlfriends/boyfriends.
Posted by runpipparun[/QUOTE]
Try lurking on this board. I've only been here for a month or so but I already know the general consensus is that if someone has a boyfriend or girlfriend, even if it's for a week, the boyfriend or girlfriend should be invited. Even if they aren't live-in or engaged.

runpipparun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-refuses-to-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8430f199-aac1-4747-8cb5-7ad56b5fd9b3Post:d5c382d3-004f-476a-8722-bc47dde43d36">Re: Best man refuses to come?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Best man refuses to come? : Just FYI - the "no ring/no bring" rule is a load of BS. If someone has a boyfriend or girlfriend, their boyfriend or girlfriend should be invited. Period. Some people date for 20 years and never get engaged/married because they choose not to. Under this BS rule, their relationship would not be considered significant enough to warrant a plus one to an invitation. Ridiculous.
Posted by AceTT[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Oh, I agree. But some people set a rule of "everyone gets a plus one" or "no ring, no bring" (you either have to be married, living together, or engaged), rule.</div><div>
</div><div>But if you read my post, I don't think it applies to attandants. You have to trust their judgment. I think that's why BM is so angry. It's like they're saying his gf isn't good enough. They don't know her, ergo she isn't worthy. Whereas they should be saying, "Any friend of yours is a friend of ours."</div><div>
</div><div>When I was a bridesmaid for my friend Stephanie's wedding, I chose not to take a +1, because I didn't have anybody NOT random. But... she gave me one anyway.</div><div>
</div>

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-refuses-to-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8430f199-aac1-4747-8cb5-7ad56b5fd9b3Post:14e8d0d9-7162-4ace-8960-ad40baf31581">Re: Best man refuses to come?</a>:
[QUOTE]Why would you chose your girlfriend over a close friend? rude!
Posted by shanliann[/QUOTE]

They could be married someday. If this guy wants to bring his girlfriend of several months to a WEDDING that really says something about the seriousness of the relationship.

I would pick my husband over any friend, any family member, anyone. I would choose him, his needs and his side over my best friend, my brother, my mom, etc. That's how it should be.

SarahPLiz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-refuses-to-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8430f199-aac1-4747-8cb5-7ad56b5fd9b3Post:0618211b-2a25-4738-8686-1f03ac3311d8">Re: Best man refuses to come?</a>:
[QUOTE]Since no one has asked and just assumes you're a bitch....was he dating the girl when you sent invites out? As etiquette dictates....only parties the invitie is addressed to are invited. If he wasn't dating her then and the invite is addresses the Mr. Best Man....then I think he's in the wrong. You can't go " Oh, when I got the invite I was single and ow I'm it so I should get to bring her" when she wasn't in the picture then.
Posted by tkddddddddd[/QUOTE]
Even if they weren't dating when she sent invitations, if he called and asked because now they are dating (some people send invitations ridiculously early), then she should graciously accomodate his request. 

erollis

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-refuses-to-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8430f199-aac1-4747-8cb5-7ad56b5fd9b3Post:16daccce-f6bf-42e9-9b2d-de14b86e5650">Re: Best man refuses to come?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Best man refuses to come? : They could be married someday. If this guy wants to bring his girlfriend of several months to a WEDDING that really says something about the seriousness of the relationship. I would pick my husband over any friend, any family member, anyone. I would choose him, his needs and his side over my best friend, my brother, my mom, etc. That's how it should be.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I was just thinking this. </div><div>
</div><div>Even if they started to date a day after the wedding invitations got dropped in the mail the girlfriend should still be allowed to come. They are in a serious enough relationship for him to choose his girlfriend over being BM in his friends wedding. How would you feel if they were the ones getting married and they did this to you? I am pretty sure you wouldn't like it. 

</div>

runpipparun

Well, a lot of people here are young... One week =  relationship.

We're going to give people +1s, but we're old (29 and 27), and generally speaking our friends are either married, perma-single (and probably won't bring people), or in relationships. Frankly, I want people to bring someone if they want. I don't want them to feel alone. We went to a wedding, and J got seated (with me) at the nerdy singleton table, and it was SO sad. I guess they didn't expect him to really bring a date. I don't want that at my wedding.

We're going to save money on flowers (farmer's market), venue, my dress (Etsy), and other stuff, so I want to make sure that if guests want to bring someone, they can. What is important to us is that people enjoy themselves.

LaBellaVita23

And to add to the "let her come", I wouldn't really go on major vacation with a boyfriend who wasn't serious KWIM?  If we had just been dating a week and I didn't consider it serious, I wouldn't be putting up a fight to bring him.  So the fact that the bestman is threatening not to come, says a lot about how he feels for her.

decker423m

I think it all depends on how long a couple has been dating.  If they have been together the whole 9 months you've been planning this, then I would say its a pretty serious relationship and he should have been given a plus one.  If they only recently started dating (a month or two) then its understandable not to have given him a plus one, especially if he is one of those who constantly runs through girlfriends because you never know what he might show up with.  Having said that, if you have all RSVPs in and you are under your max count, it might not hurt to let her come along.  However, I probably would have stuck to my guns too.  And bravo to you for doing so because so many cave when it comes to wedding issues.

Also, while it could be considered rude of you to not invite the girlfriend, it was definitely rude for him to just pull out of your wedding at the last minute.  Its not like he is just a guest that changed his mind, he was a participant in the wedding itself.

chumlee7478

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-refuses-to-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8430f199-aac1-4747-8cb5-7ad56b5fd9b3Post:16daccce-f6bf-42e9-9b2d-de14b86e5650">Re: Best man refuses to come?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Best man refuses to come? : They could be married someday. If this guy wants to bring his girlfriend of several months to a WEDDING that really says something about the seriousness of the relationship. I would pick my husband over any friend, any family member, anyone. I would choose him, his needs and his side over my best friend, my brother, my mom, etc. That's how it should be.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]


This. ALL of this. 

runpipparun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-refuses-to-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8430f199-aac1-4747-8cb5-7ad56b5fd9b3Post:c34a7173-277f-40c1-a10b-40da86b102c6">Re: Best man refuses to come?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it all depends on how long a couple has been dating.  If they have been together the whole 9 months you've been planning this, then I would say its a pretty serious relationship and he should have been given a plus one.  If they only recently started dating (a month or two) then its understandable not to have given him a plus one, especially if he is one of those who constantly runs through girlfriends because you never know what he might show up with.  Having said that, if you have all RSVPs in and you are under your max count, it might not hurt to let her come along.  However, I probably would have stuck to my guns too.  And bravo to you for doing so because so many cave when it comes to wedding issues. Also, while it could be considered rude of you to not invite the girlfriend, it was definitely rude for him to just pull out of your wedding at the last minute.  Its not like he is just a guest that changed his mind, he was a participant in the wedding itself.
Posted by decker423m[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Yes, he was a participant. He is contributing to the wedding. He's paying MONEY to be in the wedding. It is RUDE not the let him bring his girlfriend if she is important to him. Put yourself in her place. Would you want to be left at home while hubby went on a vacay to a wedding? Or maybe you just didn't mean that much to him after a couple months and he wouldn't fight for you? Iiiiiiii don't think so.</div><div>
</div><div>BEST MAN - Fly Girlfriend in. Show up to the wedding, go to cocktail hour, do your toast, and then cut out and hang out with GF for an extra and cut these ridiculous folks off. DONE.</div><div>
</div>

LaBellaVita23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-refuses-to-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8430f199-aac1-4747-8cb5-7ad56b5fd9b3Post:c34a7173-277f-40c1-a10b-40da86b102c6">Re: Best man refuses to come?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it all depends on how long a couple has been dating.  If they have been together the whole 9 months you've been planning this, then I would say its a pretty serious relationship and he should have been given a plus one.  If they only recently started dating (a month or two) then its understandable not to have given him a plus one, especially if he is one of those who constantly runs through girlfriends because you never know what he might show up with.  Having said that, if you have all RSVPs in and you are under your max count, it might not hurt to let her come along.  However, I probably would have stuck to my guns too.  And bravo to you for doing so because so many cave when it comes to wedding issues. <strong>Also, while it could be considered rude of you to not invite the girlfriend, it was definitely rude for him to just pull out of your wedding at the last minute.  Its not like he is just a guest that changed his mind, he was a participant in the wedding itself.</strong>
Posted by decker423m[/QUOTE]
Explain how it was rude when he was being disrespected by the bride and groom.  If my best friend wouldn't have allowed me to bring DH (then boyfriend) to a destintation wedding, I would have been extremely pissed too.  It's disrespectful and he shouldn't have stood for it.

coopsbaby

I'm having a very small intimate destination wedding next year. Immediate family and a couple of close friends for each of us. We have 2 friends and one family member who are "serial daters". We will likely have 3 random people at our wedding. I have ZERO problem with this. These are our nearest and dearest who are flying to be with us and I want them to be happy.

 In addition I have YET to meet our best man. He lives away and travels for work, so it's never worked out. But FI considers him his best friend, and I may not have even met him before the wedding. And he'll be in TONS of the pictures.

You really need to let him bring this girl. It's obviously serious to him, and he's the one who decides. I don't blame him for dropping out at all. Invite her. Won't ruin your day, I promise!

Lizzieyounce

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-refuses-to-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8430f199-aac1-4747-8cb5-7ad56b5fd9b3Post:5ad08e25-5c8f-4117-9627-416a2450061b">Re: Best man refuses to come?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think you should feel obligated to invite his girlfriend. Is it a nice gesture, yes, is it necessary, no. You're not the first person to not invite plus ones.
Posted by Ividian[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You are an idiot. You don't break up social units....it can end friendships, or in this case cause the best man to bail.

</div>

may25bride2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-refuses-to-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8430f199-aac1-4747-8cb5-7ad56b5fd9b3Post:5ad08e25-5c8f-4117-9627-416a2450061b">Re: Best man refuses to come?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think you should feel obligated to invite his girlfriend. Is it a nice gesture, yes, is it necessary, no. You're not the first person to not invite plus ones.
Posted by Ividian[/QUOTE]

<div>Fail. If even 1 person gets to bring a plus one/ SO, anyone with a SO gets to bring theirs. </div><div>
</div><div>OP, you need to invite the girlfriend. Not just because of etiquette, but because it's kind of shitty for your FI to be without a best man because of 1 extra seat. If your MOH decided not to go because you wouldn't let her SO come, I'm sure you would figure it out.</div>

KalaB2011

Let him bring his GF. The guest list is one of the most stressful things about planning a wedding, I get it, but b/c he is the best man and does have a special role, it would be kind and gracious of you to let him have his GF there. No one else invited needs to know that she's a "plus 1." He will be expected to be there for the whole wedding process, not just the day-of, and who knows, maybe he'll end up marrying her...and your FI might be the best man. Sometimes you just have to suck it up to keep the peace. It's just 1 person afterall.

mica178

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-refuses-to-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8430f199-aac1-4747-8cb5-7ad56b5fd9b3Post:bba57b14-0555-419f-a4ad-391b4ca816d0">Re: Best man refuses to come?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, a lot of people here are young... One week =  relationship. :) We're going to give people +1s, but <strong>we're old (29 and 27)</strong>, and generally speaking our friends are either married, perma-single (and probably won't bring people), or in relationships. Frankly, I want people to bring someone if they want. I don't want them to feel alone. We went to a wedding, and J got seated (with me) at the nerdy singleton table, and it was SO sad. I guess they didn't expect him to really bring a date. I don't want that at my wedding. We're going to save money on flowers (farmer's market), venue, my dress (Etsy), and other stuff, so I want to make sure that if guests want to bring someone, they can. What is important to us is that people enjoy themselves.
Posted by runpipparun[/QUOTE]

Awesome.  Apparently, I'm ancient.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-refuses-to-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8430f199-aac1-4747-8cb5-7ad56b5fd9b3Post:30b6ec19-f950-4019-a3a0-fb32fbb731f9">Re: Best man refuses to come?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Best man refuses to come? : Awesome.  Apparently, I'm ancient.
Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Can't imagine what she thinks of this 40-something year old?</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>  Not many people like the inquisition of a new bf/gf at a wedding, let alone travel with someone.  The fact he wants to do both say a lot about how they feel for one another.</div>

kmmssg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-refuses-to-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8430f199-aac1-4747-8cb5-7ad56b5fd9b3Post:30b6ec19-f950-4019-a3a0-fb32fbb731f9">Re: Best man refuses to come?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Best man refuses to come? : Awesome.  Apparently, I'm ancient.
Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]
What does that make me?  A fossil?

bonge

The no ring, no bring rule is stupid. We were together for 4 years & living together after 3 months before i got a ring. My fiance is one to take his time, does that mean we weren't serious? The only wedding invitation i was left off was his brothers & SIL but they did not expect him to go alone, i am left off everything (she is extremely stuck up so does that to a lot of ppl). 

Even when we were only dating for 6 months, his cousins invited me to their wedding, not by name no but as a +1 because they did not know me. 

You won't come back to the thread but you are having a desination wedding which means $$$$$ more than normal but your fiances best friend is expected to leave his gf at home? I would stay home too. 

I know it is not feasible for everyone but we invited all with a guest, we are now under the final # we wanted because it is a holiday weekend so some ppl have plans even with the +1's and add ons (i've allowed them, because i have space & budget). 

It is hard to go to a wedding alone, even if you know ppl, at some point you usually end up sitting by yourself for a bit, not fun!!! You are so rude. 

runpipparun

Yo, I live in the south. Everyone else gets married at 19 and 20 here. I'm an old maid, around here.

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-refuses-to-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8430f199-aac1-4747-8cb5-7ad56b5fd9b3Post:14e8d0d9-7162-4ace-8960-ad40baf31581">Re: Best man refuses to come?</a>:
[QUOTE]I get both sides, I really honestly do. You probably are going to end up having to invite her(which sucks) but 1 piece of advice from a wedding i previously attended, if or when you do talk to the best man,<strong> if you are going to have a photographer/ do ANY kind of pictures explain that you would appreciate if his girlfriend would step back and not be in the pictures. Of course you can do a group picture of whatever to include her, but just as respect you would appreciate her not taking part.</strong> I had a friend in a similar situation to you last year, only it wasnt a girlfriend it was simply a date. When the bride got her wedding pictures back a bunch of us got together to look at them and share the pictures we had taken, and this girl was allllll over the pictures!!!  Pictures of her and the groom, pictures of her and the parents of the groom, pictures of her and the bar tenders, oh could i go on and on. <strong>Point is, pictures are forever and since she is a girlfriend she should understand that she may not be around forever</strong>. Other things about the situation that would bother me: The best man needs to grow some balls, ok his girlfriend wasn't invited, sucks, maybe its wrong etiquette, but he is obv close to the groom, hints why he is part of the wedding party. Why would you chose your girlfriend over a close friend? rude! If you are in a new relationship with a guy, and he is in a wedding and you not invited, sucks, but how could you let him step out of the wedding on acount of you. No way, she should have stood up to him and said look this sucks and i wish things were different but this guy is a close friend of yours and you need to be there!!
Posted by shanliann[/QUOTE]

I find this advice....odd and rude. You would tell someone "Hey, you can bring your SO but keep that chick out of my pictures." Really? If you want a picture of just the WP, then the photographer will say bride and groom plus WP. She knows she isn't part of the WP and will not be in that photo. If she tries to step into it, the photog can politely say,, "Sorry this one is the WP only." It really isn't a huge deal, but the way you are saying it is quite rude.

As for the second part--how exactly do you end up as a married couple? Do you go from "Hi nice to meet you" to engaged? Every married couple was a boyfriend/girlfriend at some point. Who are you to say she won't be around forever? That's presumptuous and rude.

cmej2012

In Response to Re:Best man refuses to come?:[QUOTE]Since no one has asked and just assumes you're a bitch....was he dating the girl when you sent invites out? As etiquette dictates....only parties the invitie is addressed to are invited. If he wasn't dating her then and the invite is addresses the Mr. Best Man....then I think he's in the wrong. You can't go " Oh, when I got the invite I was single and ow I'm it so I should get to bring her" when she wasn't in the picture then. Posted by tkddddddddd[/QUOTE]

The invitations were done before they started dating...not sure why everyone assumed this was MY decision and not a joint one with my FI, but thanks for clarifying

LaBellaVita23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-refuses-to-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8430f199-aac1-4747-8cb5-7ad56b5fd9b3Post:46395b7a-1bda-4a19-9578-672db386bfb9">Re:Best man refuses to come?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Best man refuses to come?: The invitations were done before they started dating...<strong>not sure why everyone assumed this was MY decision and not a joint one with my FI, but thanks for clarifying</strong>
Posted by cmej2012[/QUOTE]
Well then congratulations you both are being jerks.  Seriously, invite her.

runpipparun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-refuses-to-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8430f199-aac1-4747-8cb5-7ad56b5fd9b3Post:34729c36-4382-43c9-a851-e0f0a46af46d">Re: Best man refuses to come?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Best man refuses to come? : I find this advice....odd and rude. You would tell someone "Hey, you can bring your SO but keep that chick out of my pictures." Really? If you want a picture of just the WP, then the photographer will say bride and groom plus WP. She knows she isn't part of the WP and will not be in that photo. If she tries to step into it, the photog can politely say,, "Sorry this one is the WP only." It really isn't a huge deal, but the way you are saying it is quite rude. As for the second part--how exactly do you end up as a married couple? Do you go from "Hi nice to meet you" to engaged? Every married couple was a boyfriend/girlfriend at some point. Who are you to say she won't be around forever? That's presumptuous and rude.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Hahahaha! Seriously. This brought to mind The Godfather, where Michael drags Kay into the huge family pic at Connie's wedding to Carlo. If ANYONE'S gonna tell you to keep the random chick out of the family photo, it's The Godfather, but nope. :)

</div>

SparrowSong

You might have been able to get away with this for a local wedding, but asking people to travel to a wedding and do so alone? You were in the wrong. 

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-refuses-to-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8430f199-aac1-4747-8cb5-7ad56b5fd9b3Post:5ad08e25-5c8f-4117-9627-416a2450061b">Re: Best man refuses to come?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think you should feel obligated to invite his girlfriend. Is it a nice gesture, yes, is it necessary, no. You're not the first person to not invite plus ones.
Posted by Ividian[/QUOTE]
Significant others are not plus ones.

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-refuses-to-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8430f199-aac1-4747-8cb5-7ad56b5fd9b3Post:0618211b-2a25-4738-8686-1f03ac3311d8">Re: Best man refuses to come?</a>:
[QUOTE]Since no one has asked and just assumes you're a bitch....was he dating the girl when you sent invites out? As etiquette dictates....only parties the invitie is addressed to are invited. If he wasn't dating her then and the invite is addresses the Mr. Best Man....then I think he's in the wrong. You can't go " Oh, when I got the invite I was single and ow I'm it so I should get to bring her" when she wasn't in the picture then.
Posted by tkddddddddd[/QUOTE]
Since they've been dating for several months, either he was already dating her when invitations went out, or they sent invitations out too early.   No need to ask, frankly; just use your logic and math skills.

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_best-man-refuses-to-come?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8430f199-aac1-4747-8cb5-7ad56b5fd9b3Post:bfc6d1ce-16e7-462a-a20a-4d3479e4d9e9">Re: Best man refuses to come?</a>:
[QUOTE]You might have been able to get away with this for a local wedding, but asking people to travel to a wedding and do so alone? You were in the wrong. 
Posted by SparrowSong[/QUOTE]
Nope, it's still rude to split up social couples at local weddings.

Viczaesar

Hold up, when is your wedding?  It's not still on January 31, 2014, is it?