Wedding Etiquette Forum

Hostess gifts

I called my FMIL to ask who was hosting my shower because the invitation didn't say and I wanted to get them hostess gifts.  She told me the names of the 4 people but said not to do them, their family hasn't done hostess gifts before and it would make them feel bad. 

Really? Who would feel bad because they got a small gift of appreciation? I'm kind bummed now because I already bought some stuff and had put thought into this.  Should I give them anyway or scrap the whole thing?






Re: Hostess gifts

  • I think a small gift is appropriate. It's never impolite to show gratitude. You could do something like flowers or a bottle of wine so as to not go too "over the top" with it.

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  • I would.  If you are the type of person who likes to give small tokens of appreciation when appropriate, I say go for it.  
  • edited July 2010
    I said something to my FSIL about hostess gifts (she along with 4 others are hosting my shower) and she said "what are those?! No one in our family does that I wouldn't if I were you."

    I think she feels it would make her look bad since she didn't do it.  So, I'm going to skip them.  The other girls never gave me one when I was in their wedding so I don't think they will be missed.
  • It wont make her look bad.  I dont think people go into planning a bridal shower expecting a hostess gift.  No one will think less of her if you give one and she didn't.  Don't let her convince you it's inappropriate if it is simply a nice gesture you'd like to offer.
  • you can always give them their gifts before the guests start to show up, that way its not a big deal but its a  nice gesture.

    they arent really common in my family either but i will definitly be gifting the hostess.
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