My sista is annoying me

alainn15

So my sister emailed me a few weeks back asking when the shower and bachelorrette party would be so she could request off work. I call, she never answers. I talk to all of the BM and they agree on a date in APRIL. I talked to everyone and decide to do both in the same weekend since neither will be big. This way sis will be there for both. I let her know via email and she tells me that she can only come up from Charlotte to Pittsburgh once, as in once for the wedding. So why did you email me asking for a date so you could request off work.

Then she asks if we can do it all the Sunday before the wedding. Now my dilemma is this, do I go ahead and tell her to get realistic, that I can't do a shower, bachelorette party, and wedding prep the six days before the wedding. I would love to have her at all of the WR events but she can't afford to come. I understand she can't afford it, but I can't ask my BM to plan everything for a week before, let alone ask the guests if I can consume two of their weekends in a row. How do I put it to her that her request is unrealistic? What would you do? Stay with the shower in April, maybe a B Party in May, and the Wedding in June, or try to put it all into one week so sis can be there?

mandysmear

I just wouldn't have a shower.  And then do my B-party the week before the wedding.  My sister and I are really close though so I couldn't imagine her not at my B-party.  Who gives a shiit about the shower though?  Showers are gay-tarded.

tenofcups4me

I agree it's way too much to do the shower, b-party and wedding in the space of a week. I'd keep the shower in April and then do the b-party the weekend before the wedding so at least she can be at that part.

cougarette

My one sister lives in Oklahoma and I'm in South Carolina.  She couldn't make it to my shower, which sucked but what can you do.  We had my b-party two days before the wedding so that she could be there.  Like Mandy, I couldn't imagine having a b-party without my sister, but the shower was no big deal.

georgia_bride09

I agree with pp. Shower in April, B-party the week before the wedding.

Is your sister coming up the weekend before, then staying all that week? She can help you with wedding prep; that's why she's coming up, right?

alainn15

She is driving up on the Sunday before the wedding and staying until the day after, also Sunday. So the B party would have to be Sunday or a weeknight, all my BM work 9-5 workdays. We really aren't that close, but when she got married my mom convinced her I HAD to me her MOH and I couldn't go down until a few days before the wedding so she did a small spa day the Friday before because that's when I would be there. I am so confused. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, yet, I want everyone to be included.

squirrly

Plan what works for everybody else.  I wouldn't plan it for the weekend before the wedding. 

But, keep an eye on plane tickets - you might get lucky and score a deal so that she COULD fly in for something.

Ash2985

It depends on how big of a deal it is to have your sister at both (or either, I suppose).  One of my BMs lives in California, and I really want her at my Bach party, so we're probably going to do a spa day in the week before the wedding, because she's planning on flying out about a week before the wedding.  I would love to have her there for the shower, too, but we're going to have it in January because that's what works with my schedule.  While I'm sad that she might not be able to make it, it's not the end of the world, because there will be lots of other people there who I love and will enjoy spending time with.

I can't imagine your sister expecting everyone to work around her schedule and have the shower the week before the wedding-- that seems a little ridiculous.  I'd have it (and maybe the Bach too) in April, and then maybe go out for dinner and drinks or something with her and whoever else can make it and not call it a Bach party when she gets there.

alainn15

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sista-annoying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:85d167c6-c573-4be3-bed0-c3168c4f60b5Post:05a39929-1564-4627-aa91-383cf25bdc5b">Re: My sista is annoying me</a>:
[QUOTE]Technically, you shouldn't be the one planning either the shower or the bachelorette party.  Is someone throwing these parties for you?  If so, that person or people should decide when to have it.  If it works out so your sister can't come, you can always say, "so-and-so couldn't arrange to have it that weekend."
Posted by fhorns147[/QUOTE]

No, I'm not planning any of it. I just wanted some dates. OP says that they are planning everything and all I did was ask for a date.

I guess she is just going to have to realize she is being unrealistic and we can't do it all the weekend before.

DavidandAmyClark

One of my girlfriends had her shower in the afternoon, the bach party following after on Saturday and her wedding was the following Friday.  We all had fun, she seemed to be fine with it.  Although going out on Sun night is definitely different...
 I think she did this because her MOH had moved to TX and would be back for one week for the wedding and could attend all events. 

I think its okay to stick with your original plans and if your sis can't make it, than your sis can't make it.....It's your call. I just wanted to throw out that I have seen this work for others.

cbvcru67

My sister and I are VERY close.  I couldn't imagine her not being at a shower of mine either.  But as much as that would suck for she and I, I think it would suck just as hard being a bridesmaid and dedicating Sat-Sun-Fri-Sat-Sun  in a one week frame all to your wedding, closest friends or not. 

Think about it.  5 days out of 10.  These people have real lives and significant others and job responsibilities to juggle.  Let them have the weekend before your wedding to wrap up their own loose ends instead of planning your shower around your sister.

I would ask my sister if we could split a plane ticket, or buy offer to buy her ticket for her.  Like Squirrly said, Southwest should get you a deal for about $200, max.

MissOwl

mandysmear - please don't say things like gay-tarded. that is offensive times two.