My mom is weird! I'm sure this is probably general knowledge. But, it's got some voodoo behind it or somethinig. This is my mom's "how to get pregnant" e-mail - this way I don't have to e-mail it to all of you.
Again, my mother is weird.
How to get Pregnant
(AKA: with child/knocked up/a bun in the oven/PG)
Objective: Get just one of his billions of sperm to penetrate
(fertilize) an available egg, mix its' RNA with the RNA from the egg
and create a zygote (or fertilized egg). (A-w-w-w!) That doesn't sound
very romantic, does it? The lovey stuff is what you do to make the
other stuff happen.
Prelimary instructions: I shall assume you are using the correct hole.
Hey, I have to say that because, do you know there have been couples
who have used the wrong hole for years and couldn't understand why they
never got pregnant!
Sperm cells: These cells think they are big and tough. They are very
small, about 1/3,000 the size of an egg cell. They are always there on
the ready and it only takes one sperm cell to fertilize an egg cell BUT
(and this is a HUGE but) for reasons not totally understood, there must
be a large number of sperm cells present in order for one to penetrate
the protein coat of an egg cell (fertilization). It is thought that
sperm cells release an enzyme that help the one sperm cell fertilize
the egg. When this is done in the laboratory, the sperm cell is
actually injected into the egg cell using a tiny needle.
Sperm cells are big and tough when the "race is on" to get to that egg,
BUT here is another thing that can make them "wimpy." Sperm cells are
born in and live in the testicles. They are created by a process called
meiosis which means they have only one-half of a DNA strand. They must
be cared for properly. From NOW ON, Mr. must keep his testicles cool! I
don't mean he should put an ice pack on them but he should never wear
jock straps, "tightly-whiteys" or any underwear that holds his
testicles close to his body. All clothes should be lose in that area.
Keep your sperm cells cool! No tight jeans, no Speedos (Ha!), and no
underwear except boxers on his package. The boxers should be purchased
one-size too large. If they have a button in the front, let it fly. At
home, wear nothing on the bottom but the boxers. DO NOT get into any
hot tub or sauna. Baths and showers should be tepid (sorry, guy). These
testicles are what you need to make a baby. Keep them happy and it will
help your chances.
Daddy can exercise only exercise muscles above the waist. No jogging,
no running, no treadmill, no bicycling, etc.
Daddy needs a diet high in protein and somewhat high in fats. Don't go
overboard. Give him a multivitamin with iron every day.
Ladies should remember to eat a balanced diet with plenty of fiber. You
don't want to be constipated and block any of the roads your "Little
Swimmers" need to take. It probably wouldn't make any difference if you
were constipated but remember that your colon runs around your body and
presses on anything that gets in it's way. That could be a fallopian
tube or a uterus. Why decrease your chances by being stopped up?
Medical professionals also recommend green, leafy vegetables for a
woman trying to get pregnant. I am not sure why (could have something
to do with the constipation thing above.) Take a multi-vitamin or
prenatal vitamin every day. Don't forget to take a folic acid
supplement also.
Although Daddy doesn't need to get all hot down below, you do need to
exercise. Exercise has been proven to increase the possibility of
becoming pregnant. Percent body fat under 15% for a woman has been
proven to decrease the chance of having a period and getting pregnant
but please don't count on that as a form of birth control.
Do not douche EVER, and I recommend no tub bathing, only shower bathing
.
After intercourse, put a pillow under your hips and draw your knees up
to your chest. Stay there for 10 minutes.
BOTH of YOU:
Relax, deep breathing, meditate, music, DVDs, have friends over,
don't talk about how hard you are trying to get pregnant, don't talk
about how much you want to get pregnant, get at least 8 hours of sleep
a night
Assuming you have a 28 day cycle, here is the procedure: Day 1 is the
first day of your period. Day 28 is the day before your next period. We
can assume ovulation is on the 14th day of the cycle because that is
what is supposed to happen. Many couples get very frustrated and have
sex every day because they want to make sure they don't miss the "prime
time." That is not how to conceive a child. Sperm can live inside a
woman for three days.
Keep a separate calendar for her cycle!
On days 1-11
(that's the first day of your period and 10 days thereafter), avoid
sex. Save up those little swimmers!
On days 12-17
(be rabbits)
On days 18-28
(Do whatever you want to do, you can't make a difference now. You can
take some pregnancy tests on day 23 or 24 and thereafter.)
My mom is NOT a medical professional. BUT - she's helped quite a few people get pregnant, so she thinks this stuff works.
I've not looked into getting KU, I dont know if any of this is BS, whatever. I'm just putting it out there because people were interested and I didn't feel like sending a million e-mails.