Making guests pay for entry...

ntrotter8911

How would you feel if you were invited to a wedding and you had to pay $3 per person for entry? My fiance & I really love a private garden that is in the area but it is looking pretty pricey if we have to pay for 150 entries into the wedding on top of the $100 just to rent the site. Would this be considered rude?

cashandrich

Yes.

Dannie138

I would be offended as a guest personally.

ffmaid

You either have to view the $450 as part of teh cost of the venue or negotiate a discount for the rate because you must pay it if not expect a bunch of no shows as the folks who do not have cash on them might not be able to get all the way into your venue.

Puppylove*85

It would be rude to ask your guests to pay to attend the wedding.  If the venue is too expensive, I would look elsewhere.

danieliza1127

I would think it was ridiculous and I would judge the bride and groom negatively for it, honestly.  Have the wedding you can afford.  Your guests shouldn't have to pay for anything to witness your wedding or celebrate with you. 

msladyface

$100 just to rent the site?  I would love to only be paying $100 to rent the venue!  Suck it up and pay the $3 pp.

trix1223

This is a joke, right?

C W

It IS only $3, but in principle it is rude to ask your guests to pay admission.

duckie1905

MUDno one is ridiculous enough to think this is a reasonable idea.

Jamilynn627

Yes, it would be considered rude. Why should guests have to pay just because you decide to go over budget? You're the host. You foot the bill for whatever you offer your guests. If I were a guest, I'd wonder if I walked into a wedding or a frat party.

missamory

it is a great way to save money, and they could pack a lunch too!

TheCatSaidQuack

YES.

Leighsgirl

Absolutley. I would never ask guests to pay for anything. It is your wedding, your expense!

andreabruening

$3 per person is a small price to pay vs. being remembered as the couple who had a cover charge... That would be completed unexpected by guests.

choppinbroccoli22

We can't afford to pay for our guest's valet parking at $26 a pop, but I'm in Boston and it's a hotel venue. I'd feel weird about having an admission fee though. Some brides from places like where I'm from are going to flip because $100 is unheard of. So take that all with a grain of salt, I don't know what it's like in Brooklyn MI, maybe $100 is expensive there. Could you possibly roll that into your budget in another way? Like, not the pretty chairs or not the linens, or consider having an alternative to favors (like a single flower at each plate, or something very simple...)

ootmother2

lol

Ainslie325

Why don't you ladies just direct her back to her local board if you don't have anything constructive to say? "MUD! MUD! Get out the flaming torches and wooden clubs and beat her back into lurking!" Geez. To the OP-- why don't you try to negotiate with the garden? Chances are they wouldn't generally be seeing some many folks stroll through on a random Saturday if it weren't for your wedding. Perhaps you could work them down to a less expensive volume rate in order to make it more feasible for you to cover the cost of your guests' admission.

lookame3639

Perhaps you could have fewer people to make the spot more affordable than invite more to the reception

trix1223

ainsley, we are providing a service here that generally isn't provided on local boards.  That service is called honesty.Chances are very good that OP's friends, family, and local will find this idea as stunning as we did.  The difference is that we'll actually tell her that.  In an effort not to hurt OP's feelings, her friends, family, and local may stammer a little, but will tell her it's a fine idea while behind her back they're saying all that people here have said.As my dear mom used to say "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."

ffmaid

also ainise you were not the first to say that she should negotiate a group rate. You just decided to insult all the other posters while doing it

Ainslie325

I'm sorry? I'm being insulting? To those who were themselves insulting? That's the pot calling the kettle black, isn't it? I'm not trying to "change the personality of the international boards,"-- I'm under no delusion that this is within my power. I don't think it's unreasonalbe, though, for someone to shake their head at this kind of catty behavior. Behave as you like, but don't be so comfortable in your derision that you fail to understand why someone might call you out on it. If you feel well within your rights to (excuse the liberal paraphrase) call someone an idiot when they ask a question, I think I'm well within my rights to point out the lack of constructiveness in your response? I don't believe that kindness (or tact) and honesty are as mutually exclusive as some on this board would suggest. Saying this is somehow acceptable behavior because of the forum just doesn't wash with me. You're right, though-- my response reiterated what another Knottie helpfully suggested-- and I apologize for this damaging oversight. I'm just a little perplexed by what is to be personally gained by making another person feel stupid, small, or uncouth. If you want to attack me for my written assessment of SOME of your behavior, feel free. I suppose your predictable response here would be that if I don't like the rules of the playground, I can take my ball and go home. If it's all the same to you, though, I think I'd rather hang around for a while. While I don't believe I can change the tone of the board, I don't intend to change my perspective in order to better accommodate it either.

lizbabydoll

How would I feel? Ackward. Would this be considered rude? Yes. Some of your guests might have to travel/drive hours, buy a dress or what not and get you a gift for your wedding, plus having to pay $3 per person? Hmmm... What about those who have big families of 5+= $15 might sound like a small amount of money but you never know, how's their economic situation?, if they'll need it to buy milk and food or use that $$ to pay the gas in order to be at your wedding. Think about ways of saving money, like if you and you'r fiance are used to go out for dinner 2 days of a week, try to make it one, and use those $25ish-$40 you would've spent towards the wedding. Another option will be talk to your parents, if they can help you, I dont mean by giving you $500, just whatever they can. If you have to push the wedding a month foward so you can save the money, or look for other places I would recomend you to do it. I was in love with a place for the ceremony/reception but it was way expensive, we couldnt afford it. So what we did? Looked around for more places, and I found one that is very affordable, I love it and I wont have to go crazy about stuff like that.

ntrotter8911

Well thank you all and no thank you to some. I was really uneasy about the idea and I mainly posted this for supportive reasoning to show my fiance that people would not be ok with this. I do appreciate the constructive ideas and will keep them in mind. To those of you that felt the need to be rude, it was a great reminder of why I have such a hard time making friends with women. It was such a good indication that there is a large population of women that are caddy and cruel and feel that is is ok to treat people with disrespect. But thanks for the support Ainslie325. ~Niki

trix1223

I don't even play golf , but I would caddy for Tiger Woods.

Leah&Christian09

Uhm, didn't the responses help you agenda in that case? If you were trying to prove that it was a bad idea, you have support, loud and clear.

duckie1905

OP-first of all, you got honest answers to your question.  It is rude, tacky, disgusting, and frankly, quite offensive to suggest charging a cover for your wedding.  That's why people called MUD-they didn't think it was possible that someone actually wanted to do that.2nd-no one would've flamed the idea if you had said from the beginning that you needed advice on how to convince your FI that you shouldn't do this. You might have gotten more constructive answers if you'd worded your question to actually reflect the situation.  Or, you'd still get honest responses about marrying a man that thinks this is acceptable. 3rd-the women on this board were honest and many times on international boards they don't blow glitter up your butt.  If your idea is bad, rude, or tacky, they tell you.  If you aren't look for honest advice then this is the wrong place to come.Lastly, I'm sorry you have trouble making friends that are women, but you can't base that on our responses because the only thing that these women did was tell you honestly that your idea was rude (and you did word it to make it seem like it was something you were considering-so you can't blame us for not being able to read minds).

ntrotter8911

Well anyways however anyone wants to interpret the post, it is distinctively clear that this is a pretty lame idea. Our wedding is quite a ways a way so we have plenty of time to make decisions. I truly appreciate everyone's input but some of it was a little cruel. It was an honest question; he was more for it than I. I do agree it just doesn't seem right to make them pay to watch the ceremony. Thank you all for you input! On a different note if you have a smaller more private ceremony and invite the rest to your reception how do you work that out in your invitations?

trix1223

If you want a smaller, more private ceremony, that's acceptable only if you're really thinking small-as in less than 25 people:  immediate families only (moms, dads, siblings, grandparents). Then you have your larger reception.  But if you're inviting 100, or even 50 to your ceremony, I wouldn't consider that small and private.

trix1223

Oops:  hit post too soon.If you are having a very small ceremony, then those guests get an invitation to the ceremony and reception.  The others get an invitation to the reception only.

SparrowSong

Awesome.