bridesmaid trouble....

ButtonD

 My Fiance's sister and I have a bit of bad blood between us. And although we get along now and are on friendly terms, I really only want my nearest and dearest standing up there beside me if you know what I mean. I plan to have all three of my sisters and and my best friend up there...Now although my FI doesn't get along with his sister, he still loves her. But he refuses to give his opinion, saying it doesn't matter to him. So, is it bad to leave her out of the line up?

stellaella

No, not bad at all. Leave her out if that's what you want. There is no requirement to have her as a bridesmaid.

ButtonD

Well, thank you ladies that was ever helpful

andy71781

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-trouble?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:879e6579-40e2-45ee-ba02-320a91bc4a39Post:8d6b9938-a853-4f9c-bad6-c4bd4e583bed">Re: bridesmaid trouble....</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, thank you ladies that was ever helpful :)
Posted by ButtonD[/QUOTE]
you didn't already ask her right?

[Deleted User]

Ditto mrs.jesse. There is no reason she can't stand up on his side if it is really important to his family and will cause any drama if she is not in the WP.

ButtonD

No I haven't asked her, so there won't be any drama of that sort. But I don't think his family will react badly if she's not in the lineup.

saisongbird

Do you have any siblings that you're including?  Just make sure that if you are, that she won't perceive it as a slight to not be including in the WP.

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-trouble?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:879e6579-40e2-45ee-ba02-320a91bc4a39Post:4bea5f67-6b61-4f89-942b-e6d3bcf29c33">Re: bridesmaid trouble....</a>:
[QUOTE]Do you have any siblings that you're including?  Just make sure that if you are, that she won't perceive it as a slight to not be including in the WP.
Posted by saisongbird[/QUOTE]
She already said she is having her 3 sisters in the WP.

Summer2011Bride

I don't think it's a requirement. like others have said, if your FI feels strongly about including her, she can be a groomswoman. If he is closer to her, it would make sense to have her stand on his side anyway. If you don't think it will cause a huge war with his family, then I would leave her out.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-trouble?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:879e6579-40e2-45ee-ba02-320a91bc4a39Post:2e62f957-a361-489b-a52e-7695349ecd7b">bridesmaid trouble....</a>:
[QUOTE] My Fiance's sister and I have a bit of bad blood between us. And although we get along now and are on friendly terms, I really only want my nearest and dearest standing up there beside me if you know what I mean. I plan to have all three of my sisters and and my best friend up there...Now although my FI doesn't get along with his sister, he still loves her. <strong>But he refuses to give his opinion, saying it doesn't matter to him. </strong>So, is it bad to leave her out of the line up?
Posted by ButtonD[/QUOTE]

<div>That is an opinion he's giving.  He's saying he doesn't care whether she is in it or not.  If he really cared if she was in it he would have said he wanted her in it.  And as PP's have said she could stand on his side.  Don't put anyone in your WP just to play nice or because you think you should.  If you want to know, go read some posts on the WP board, and Moms & Maids of brides complaining about how they made a mistake asking people and now want to kick them out.  </div><div>
</div><div>I do not think that having your sisters means that you need to have his.  H had his 2 brothers in the WP, but my brother wasn't in it.  He did a reading instead and walked my mom in.  So perhaps if you really want to include her just ask her to do a reading.  </div>

MyWedding13

You don't need to ask her, especially if you have "bad blood" between you. Is he having any of your family members as groomsmen? If he isn't, then you really don't need to have her included.

emyinpink

Agree with pp's. Having her do a reading is a nice way to include her (without a made-up job, like program passer outer or guest book attendant).

ButtonD

Aha having her do a reading is a clever idea! That might be nice, and she'd feel included. Thanks much!!