Invited to a Gay Wedding? Read This

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invited-to-a-gay-wedding-read-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:87aa24a2-5020-4383-894c-380b5713e113Post:2424d614-0f68-4252-9ef9-9e8c1821d5f7">Re: Invited to a Gay Wedding? Read This</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>On second though, no. I changed my mind. The whole thing is staying the way it was. I'm not tiptoeing around and dumbing down my sentences so people won't think I'm acting superior because I'm not. I</strong>f they think it's condescending it probably says more about them and their latent homophobia than it does about me. My goal was never to change the minds of fundamentalists or minds that are already so steeped in hatred they can't see reality; those people are beyond hope. I just wanted to reach out to guests who are basically good people but have never been around gay people and had some misperceptions as a result. My target audience is people who know my FI and I well enough to recognize our voice and sense of humor, and I trust that they will get that from it rather than condescension. I revised it for the same reason that I wrote it in the first place--because I<strong> love my FI, who is from a small town, and I can't stand the thought of her getting hurt by people she loves and I wanted to do what I could to diminish that.</strong> For this purpose and those readers, I think I did that fine the way it was. After I revised it, it just didn't sound like us anymore. I should have stuck to my guns. There's always going to be haters.
Posted by sggeiger[/QUOTE]


I wasn't accusing you of not being adjusted (per your other post).  I was just saying, the language you were using makes it sound like you aren't comfortable with your own gayness.  I never ... ever look at pictures of my sweetheart and I and think "wow, this doesn't look right".  I came out 18 years ago.  I wasn't completely confident being "out"  and super open in the first year or so, but I never once felt like it didn't look right.  

By the way, just by having the FAQ - Gay weddings.. you are tiptoeing around people.  You are trying to sooth them before the show up at the wedding.   I get it..  I really do.   Some of your guests might have their feathers ruffled. 

Good luck with this. 

sggeiger

I'm totally on the same page with looking at pics of us together. I think we're adorable! lol

It's just the two dresses next to each other we're not used to seeing. Tux and gown is just an iconic image in our culture so gown and gown just stands out, that's all I'm saying. I blame Disney! JK It took this long to get a minority princess, maybe in 100 years we'll get two princesses. A girl can dream :)

I'm not offended, by the way. I appreciate your perspective.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invited-to-a-gay-wedding-read-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:87aa24a2-5020-4383-894c-380b5713e113Post:c19b7dea-02b5-41af-824e-69d51a86c8f0">Re: Invited to a Gay Wedding? Read This</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invited to a Gay Wedding? Read This : I wasn't accusing you of not being adjusted (per your other post).  I was just saying, the language you were using makes it sound like you aren't comfortable with your own gayness.  I never ... ever look at pictures of my sweetheart and I and think "wow, this doesn't look right".  I came out 18 years ago.  I wasn't completely confident being "out"  and super open in the first year or so, but I never once felt like it didn't look right.   By the way, just by having the FAQ - Gay weddings.. you are tiptoeing around people.  You are trying to sooth them before the show up at the wedding.   I get it..  I really do.   Some of your guests might have their feathers ruffled.  Good luck with this. 
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]