Did you send your pastor a wedding invite?

aloisk57

Did you send your pastor a wedding invitation?  I mean, obviously he knows when we're getting married...but we're doing choice of entree so I didn't know if I should send him an invite just for his response?  What about your photographer? 

achiduck

Yes, I did. It's proper etiquette and we need to know what she and her husband want to eat.

Maggie0829

I think inviting your pastor really comes down to your relationship with them.  If you are close with your pastor then an invite would be nice but if you do not know him very well then an invite is not necessary.  I don't think not inviting them is against etiquette in anyway.  If you just consider them more of a vendor then a family friend then an invite is not necessary. 

As far as the photographer, an invite is not necessary just ask what he/she would prefer to eat and let your venue/caterer know.

Meegles4

Yes we did. We also would have asked him to say grace before the meal had he been able to make it.

Calypso1977

priest gets invite not only to the wedding, btu the RD as well.

xBinaru

We did give our pastor a wedding invite. He isn't officiating our wedding however. But we did also give an invite to the man who is...so. Yes.

KellyBrian2013

We didn't invite the reverend to either RD or reception; he was a paid vendor (without a personal relationship to anyone involved). But his contract also said that he generally has other commitments following ceremonies, so he wouldn't be able to stay.

We didn't send an invite to the DJ or photographer either, but fed both (the same meal our guests got).

Habs2Hart

Yes, both pastors got invitations.  However, we are close with both families and both of their families were invited as well.  So there's that...

mmmendi

We do intend to send one to the pastor..yesterday my sister surprised me with a guitar player for our music (an element I was struggling with!). Do I send he and his wife an invite? He is functioning as vendor, but he is a friend of my sisters and I have met his wife a few times.

Peledreamsofrain

I will be giving my officiant an invite, but only due to etiquette, and because I would like to know what he and his wife would like to eat.

I was a bit put out to learn that it was tradition for him to bring his wife along, and that they would need invites as if they were guests.  As he is charging us a large fee like a vendor would, I am not completely excited about paying for them to eat and take advantage of the open bar.  Especially since I didn't want a religious officiant, and originally was planning on getting a really nice non-denominational lady officiant who would take the fee and donate it to the humane society.   But I am not the only person getting married, and it was imporant to the FI to have a pastor there.

At the end of the day, it's such a small thing, not worth raising a fuss over. 

melanieky

I will be sending my pastor an invite!

naomikb

Pastor - yes, he was a guest there to enjoy the evening.

Photographer - no, he was a vendor who was there working.  I verbally asked him if he had any food restrictions/allergies or preferences and that was it.

valeri587

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-you-send-your-pastor-a-wedding-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:87e5e372-7756-4078-949b-74caca15d786Post:5e7efb0a-e5ed-4d7b-9b0f-35b074dc9039">Re: Did you send your pastor a wedding invite?</a>:
[QUOTE]I will be giving my officiant an invite, but only due to etiquette, and because I would like to know what he and his wife would like to eat. <strong>I was a bit put out to learn that it was tradition for him to bring his wife along,</strong> and that they would need invites as if they were guests.  As he is charging us a large fee like a vendor would, I am not completely excited about paying for them to eat and take advantage of the open bar.  Especially since I didn't want a religious officiant, and originally was planning on getting a really nice non-denominational lady officiant who would take the fee and donate it to the humane society.   But I am not the only person getting married, and it was imporant to the FI to have a pastor there. At the end of the day, it's such a small thing, not worth raising a fuss over. 
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

I felt the same way when mine said he brings his wife to all the weddings and they normally stay through the reception. We don't have a fee to pay but he did say an honorarium is customary. I am not sending him an invite though. He actually works with me so he is well aware of when to show up.

jessicabessica

If you want to invite the pastor to the reception, yes, send him an invitation (and include his SO).  To the PPs that don't want to invite the officiant--you don't have to.  Given that they are the only necessary person besides you and your FI, it's generally a nice thing to do, and if you think they are expecting an invitation, I would just send it--you don't want to upset them.

You don't need to invite photographers, musicians, or other vendors.  However, I would recommend giving an invitation to your photographer (or at least having one available for them) so they can take some photos that include it. 

catwine

the pastor officiating our wedding is someone i know but not very well, so he is not getting an invite.  our photographer got one so that she had our invitation suite to take pix of.  Plus, I really like her and think we may end up as friends:)  We are also having a plated meal so I need to know what she and her second shooter want to eat.