Etiquette for RSVP cards

TeebagyAndNorth

Ok- what should be on the RSVP card? Just a line for them to put their name and meal choices? Or an additional spot to actually put a number of people RSVPing... do people know just to put the names?

For example: our proof looks like this:

Please respond by the second of September
M _____________________________________________
____ accept with pleasure
____ decline with regret
please initial the entrée choice of each guest:
______ beef tenderloin ______ sea bass
We look forward to celebrating with you!

banana468

I think your response card is fine although I'd remove the "with pleasure" and "with regret".  They're rather pretentious phrases.

TeebagyAndNorth

thanks for the tip. The designer that drafted the proofs came up with that. I never thought about it that way.

banana468

YW.  I've seen it done before and it's not a huge deal but it'll induce an eyeroll. 

TeebagyAndNorth

honestly.. I probably will leave it. I suppose some people would find it pretentious but is it really? Probably not... I mean are you really inviting someone you think wouldn't regret not coming? We invite people to our weddings that we love and are close to. Why would they feel the need to mock?

banana468

It's not "the need to mock" - and I should have said, "presumptuous" and not "pretentious."

That's the real issue.  You're not supposed to know the feelings of your guests.  Maybe they really regret that they can't attend but that's for them to feel - not for you to project. 

It is a small detail but one that can easily be avoided if you just remove the two lines.  You may even find that people write in their own sentiments on the response cards.  We received a ton that were "personalized."

mwhitson14

I left it on there after forgetting to tell the RSVP designer to take it off after I got the proof. It was kinda fun to get the RSVPs back, people would circle or underline the with regret or with pleasure part and draw smiley faces or frowny faces. It was cute.

crfische

I'm not a fan of seeing with pleasure or regret either.

TeebagyAndNorth

No I see your point. I just think people are overly sensitive in general.

Mrs.B6302007

Ditto banana.  Let the guests decide how they feel about attending or declining.

crfische

Dude. It's a wedding. When it comes to weddings, there's always some overly sensitiveness. 

It's one big emotional overly sensitive industy.

But you asked what we thought, we told you, and you don't care, so go on with your bad self.

TeebagyAndNorth

lol. I think I am just being overly sensitive... :-P I will chock it up to being hungover after a law school event. two drinks= drunk= pathetic!

KentuckyKate

Here is my response card.  This board proofed mine for me and made changes, and I listened to them.  They know what's up.