Guest attire poll - is one worse than the other?

banana468

DH and I went to the wedding of his coworker yesterday.  It was a really lovely ceremony and reception and we had a great time.  It wasn't terribly large (about 80 or so people) so it was easy to do some people / attire watching.   I noticed two women wearing attire that I'd NEVER wear to a wedding and figured I'd poll you lovely ladies to see if you think one is worse than the other: 
1 -  A woman in a long solid cream colored dress with a cream colored scarf or
2 - A woman in khaki capris, cotton blouse and lug sole sandals.

[Deleted User]

I wouldn't wear either to a wedding even if it was an outdoor wedding. I guess I just have more common sense or class than that.

Even for my cousin's outdoor wedding at my aunt & unlce's house my family dressed nicely and changed later after the ceremony.

banana468

Oh - and this wasn't an outdoor wedding.  It was an 'open air' wedding but it was held at a very nice venue.  We were under a tent that bordered on a mansion.  The mansion was used for things like place cards, restrooms and portions of the cocktail hour while the ceremony and reception were under the tent.

AdeleDazeem

My sister's wedding was outside at a gorgeous venue.  Everyone was in long gowns or short, cocktail dresses.  One girl was wearing jeans and sneakers.  To me, that will always be more egregious than a cream colored dress.  You couldn't look at the type of event, then the invitation/venue, and come up with the correct level of attire?

baystateapple

Ouch.  Both of them are pretty bad faux pas.  I would never wear cream ANYTHING to a wedding,  much less a long gown.  And wearing capris to a wedding is pretty bad, too.

Joy, whenever someone comes on here saying "HELP!  My family is going to show up wearing JEANS!" I have a hard time believing them, because I just can't imagine a situation where anyone would think "wedding" and "jeans" go together.  And then I hear stories like yours.  I just don't get it.

tldh

As often as we  tell brides to let the MOGs and MOBs wear cream/ivory because nobody is going to mistake her for the bride, I have to go for the outfit more appropriate for grocery shopping.

Meg1979

They both sound pretty bad, but at least the cream dress was a dress.  I mean, there are some lovely pantsuits, but if you are wearing an outfit that would be perfect for an afternoon at the mall...that's just tacky.

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-attire-poll-one-worse-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:893eff1e-af20-491c-8c14-9666c6b34c40Post:59c2fd13-ff6a-4f65-8f2a-b6b32a5ba292">Re: Guest attire poll - is one worse than the other?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ouch.  Both of them are pretty bad faux pas.  I would never wear cream ANYTHING to a wedding,  much less a long gown.  And wearing capris to a wedding is pretty bad, too. Joy, whenever someone comes on here saying "HELP!  My family is going to show up wearing JEANS!" I have a hard time believing them, because I just can't imagine a situation where anyone would think "wedding" and "jeans" go together.  And then I hear stories like yours.  I just don't get it.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

Luckily, Bay, the situation is slightly more complicated than a simple "oh, I'm going to wear jeans and sneakers.  Cool?"  But the end result is the still the same - you look like a smacked ass.  And this girl *knew* better.  For sure.

I think it really is a problem for some people.  Some people don't understand social cues or proper attire.  My parents used to take us to nice restaurants in the city as kids/teenagers.  We always had to look appropriate.  I go into these same restaurant now in a skirt or black pants to see people my own age or older in jeans and tank tops.  What has happened to society?

marisah83

Well, neither of those are as bad as the guy that I saw at a wedding a few months ago who showed up in jeans and a wife beater tank.  I think he was a cousin of the groom.  The wedding was fairly casual since it was a beach wedding, but most people wore sundresses or khakis with a button up shirt.  That guy's attire was just too tacky for me.

whitneykaye87

Khakis I think because I'd be more likely to notice that person.  My cousin (getting married in October, should know better) came to my wedding in stretchy jean capris and a tube top.  Not that I cared, but I noticed and laughed to myself when I saw her.  I would have no idea if someone wore ivory or cream though.

Joy- I know what you mean.  I almost always feel overdressed because no one my age seems to own anything besides jeans or skanky dresses.

curlycue27

We were at the same wedding!  I'm sure of it!  Inn at Mystic?

skippylouwho

baystateapple - my SIL asked if her husband could wear jeans to DD's wedding (and then he'd want to wear them to DS's wedding next Spring too). I told her no.  She said well he doesn't like anything "fru fru" - as we were standing at a very casual bbq for another niece's HS graduation.  He didn't come to this backyard cook out/open house because it was "too fru fru" . get a life. Put on some khakis and a nice shirt. Good grief.

For the wedding, while it would be nice if he wore a suit we would have been ok with kahkis and a nice shirt.   It's his choice and we're sorry he won't be joining us.

banana468

Curlycue, totally the same wedding!!  And I tried to be all covert too...dangit!

curlycue27

Banana- Too funny!  I noticed both guests as well.  I think I was more shocked by the cream dress and actually commented to FI about it

Calypso1977

while id never wear either to a wedding, i'd say #2 is the worst because its too casual.  ive seen more and more people wearing white to weddings these days.  i think the trend is moving toward it being ok, even though i'd never do it.  just like black was never acceptable for a wedding, now it is.

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-attire-poll-one-worse-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:893eff1e-af20-491c-8c14-9666c6b34c40Post:3c649a6f-7a8b-46af-a1c1-b0ad76987e29">Re: Guest attire poll - is one worse than the other?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Well, neither of those are as bad as the guy that I saw at a wedding a few months ago who showed up in jeans and a wife beater tank.  I think he was a cousin of the groom. </strong> The wedding was fairly casual since it was a beach wedding, but most people wore sundresses or khakis with a button up shirt.  That guy's attire was just too tacky for me.
Posted by marisah83[/QUOTE]

SEXY.

I do not understand why people think that "beach attire" translates to "dress like a slob".

tldh

Joy - Since last July, FI and I have refused to set foot in any Morton's restaurant again because of what I had to look at over his shoulder the whole night.  Two guys who had been at an afternoon ballgame, sweaty and wearing baseball caps, shorts and tank tops with rolls of fat spilling out everywhere.  Sorry, but there are other great restaurants that will actually enforce a dress code.

Skippylou - after I told them what my father was wearing to my swearing in at the Supreme Court, my brothers ordered him to buy a suit for their weddings.  He was in jeans, a white shirt and a black leather jacket.

banana468

I was more surprised by the khakis.  The cream dress was the wrong color IMO, but the khaki capris outfit just looked way too casual.  And of course I mentioned it to DH in the car.  :-)

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I would never wear either. I live in SoCal and the khaki capris are perfectly fine for office attire around here (I personally probably wear a similar outfit to work at least once a week), but I think people should know the difference between something appropriate for work or a casual summer dinner and something apprpriate for a wedding.

I can KINDA see wearing the capris to a very casual beach wedding. I wouldn't, but I can see it. But the cream dress? Never. So if I had to choose, I'd say the cream dress was worse. She should know better than that.