Why do folks continually think this is acceptable?

Lasairiona

This one woman on RI says that her only guests who are allowed a seat are elderly and pregnant. Heaven forbid anyone get tired of wearing heels or look healthy otherwise but have a condition of any kind that doesn't allow them to stand for a long period. Why are the people who tell them this is a good idea in the first place not fired and given a taste of their own medicine? Half the people who endorse this idiocy wouldn't be singing the same tune if the roles were reversed and they were forced to stand up and juggle plates and whatnot with no chance of sitting down at all.

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_drinks-apps-onlywhat-tables

Stackeye210

I can't start my day with something like that.  Maybe later.

ZRex

LOL.  I agree with you.  You never know what's going on with someone, bad knee, bad back, or even terrible cramps.

MDORSEY22

I don't think that is innappropriate. I do think it should be mentioned in the invite, perhaps limited seating, or standing room only. That way if someone does have a condition they could mention it to the bride or plan accordingly. Wedding ceremonies arent that long anyways.

BecW2be

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_folks-continually-think-this-acceptable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a9e11f0-ef4a-4ad8-a3c0-d976a9849d4cPost:09ceb17c-12fa-4ff2-b1f9-5cc0fa9bbb8e">Re: Why do folks continually think this is acceptable?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think that is innappropriate. I do think it should be mentioned in the invite, perhaps limited seating, or standing room only. That way if someone does have a condition they could mention it to the bride or plan accordingly. Wedding ceremonies arent that long anyways.
Posted by MDORSEY22[/QUOTE]

You "Plan accordingly" by having a chair for every single ass. That's how it works.  Even a 15 minute ceremony has people showing up 20-30 minutes before hand, so if you are standing in heels that's 45 minutes, usually in the grass. Why would someone do that to her guests?

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_folks-continually-think-this-acceptable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a9e11f0-ef4a-4ad8-a3c0-d976a9849d4cPost:09ceb17c-12fa-4ff2-b1f9-5cc0fa9bbb8e">Re: Why do folks continually think this is acceptable?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think that is innappropriate. I do think it should be mentioned in the invite, perhaps limited seating, or standing room only. That way if someone does have a condition they could mention it to the bride or plan accordingly. Wedding ceremonies arent that long anyways.
Posted by MDORSEY22[/QUOTE]
Well, you're wrong.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_folks-continually-think-this-acceptable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a9e11f0-ef4a-4ad8-a3c0-d976a9849d4cPost:09ceb17c-12fa-4ff2-b1f9-5cc0fa9bbb8e">Re: Why do folks continually think this is acceptable?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think that is innappropriate.
Posted by MDORSEY22[/QUOTE]
well you're wrong. g'day.

sarabellam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_folks-continually-think-this-acceptable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a9e11f0-ef4a-4ad8-a3c0-d976a9849d4cPost:09ceb17c-12fa-4ff2-b1f9-5cc0fa9bbb8e">Re: Why do folks continually think this is acceptable?</a>:
[QUOTE]That way if someone does have a condition they could mention it to the bride or plan accordingly. Wedding ceremonies arent that long anyways.
Posted by MDORSEY22[/QUOTE]

I don't think it is any of the bride's fucking business about my medical condition. My wedding ceremony was right at an hour. My sister's was closer to 90 minutes. NOBODY wants to stand that long because the B&G are too clueless, self-absorbed, or cheap to provide a seat for every ass.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_folks-continually-think-this-acceptable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a9e11f0-ef4a-4ad8-a3c0-d976a9849d4cPost:fa900ae2-3a60-44bb-9f5c-afa5cb9ccdee">Re: Why do folks continually think this is acceptable?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why do folks continually think this is acceptable? : I don't think it is any of the bride's fucking business about my medical condition.
Posted by sarabellam[/QUOTE]
clappity

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_folks-continually-think-this-acceptable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a9e11f0-ef4a-4ad8-a3c0-d976a9849d4cPost:a0b46abd-d387-4751-a882-a3e758797455">Re: Why do folks continually think this is acceptable?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why do folks continually think this is acceptable? : well you're wrong. g'day.
Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]
Jinx!  You totally owe me a coke.

[Deleted User]

Liz4444

i was at a wedding where there were only 30 seats for about 150 people... i was annoyed!
and even if there are a few seat for the elderly or people with visual disabilities who the seats are designated for, there is always that extremely healthy, 35 year old schmuck who will sit down and purposely ignore the 95 year old grandmother stand there looking miserable leaning on her cane who is too polite to say anything.

Lasairiona

Even if the ceremony only lasts 5 mins, most receptions last 5 hrs and it's highly rude to expect people to stand for that entire time w/o any opportunity to sit down.

akhensley81

I know I still count as a newbie on these boards.... but I am frankly flabbergasted that this is even a point of discussion. Really? If I went to a wedding where I was told that I had to stand... I would walk my happy ass right back to my car, SIT my happy ass down, and drive it back home.

But I would have no problem standing in the return line to get my cash back for the gift I bought..

CCBelle

Yep, nothing beats standing in 4" heels and trying to juggle a little plate and a glass of wine while all the old people hog the chairs. 

jumpingbeanx2

I went to a wedding that had only a few seats and the rest had to stand....It was in Colorado and I almost fainted while they were saying their vows....The grooms aunt went and got me a chair and some water....I felt bad, but I also wasn't very happy that I was expected to stand the whole time.

LadyJ10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_folks-continually-think-this-acceptable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a9e11f0-ef4a-4ad8-a3c0-d976a9849d4cPost:f030328b-616b-4aee-b793-1404cf4db71c">Re: Why do folks continually think this is acceptable?</a>:
[QUOTE]I But I would have no problem standing in the return line to get my cash back for the gift I bought..
Posted by akhensley81[/QUOTE]

Exactly. Don't worry -- she's not concerned because she had 95% return rate on invitations! And then she called people rude for commenting.... some people are beyond help.

CCBelle

I just went over to Receptions to check out the latest posts, then got sucked in over there.  Wow, there are some real crazies who need some serious guidance.

zippityb

Our reception is cocktail and there will be a variety of seating that may not accomodate all of our guests' butts. BUT, our ceremony is upstairs and will have a folding chair for every single guest, so those can be brought down as additional seating. I figure everyone will be happy with that.

nthomas983

Because people are selfish, self-centered, and have no consideration for the comfort and well-being of others. It's sad, really.

MDORSEY22

It sounds like you all are selfish and incosiderate. It is the brides day, the brides reception. I was recently part of a wedding that shocker of all NO ONE SAT at all during the ceremony. While it was a short ceremony no one complained or bickered. How many of you have gone to house parties, house warming parties, proms, business receptions, other dances and sat the entire time? Actual ettiquate is seating for  75-80%
"As a wedding planner, I often advise clients who are having a cocktail/heavy o'd reception to have seating for 75-80% of the final guest count, ESPECIALLY if you have a good bar and entertainment. This will save money on chair rentals/decorations so you have extra funds for said bar and entertainment. Have several high-top "cocktail" tables (about one for every three to four tables with chairs) so people can gather around them and still have a place to put down their plates to eat and drink before partying and dancing. "
In fact I would much prefer to have more table space than chairs as a guest.

If you can't stand in heels for more than 45 min. and have back problems then you probably shouldn't be wearing heels. A reception might be a thank you to the guests for attending, but the bride is paying for your food and drink so you all just sound ungrateful and spoiled.

MDORSEY22

If that is how you feel, I am sure you wouldn't be missed.

eastunder1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_folks-continually-think-this-acceptable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a9e11f0-ef4a-4ad8-a3c0-d976a9849d4cPost:13e025b4-d550-41ae-875c-cd7742cf584e">Re: Why do folks continually think this is acceptable?</a>:
[QUOTE]It sounds like you all are selfish and incosiderate. It is the brides day, the brides reception. I was recently part of a wedding that shocker of all NO ONE SAT at all during the ceremony. While it was a short ceremony no one complained or bickered. How many of you have gone to house parties, house warming parties, proms, business receptions, other dances and sat the entire time? Actual ettiquate is seating for  75-80% "As a wedding planner, I often advise clients who are having a cocktail/heavy o'd reception to have seating for 75-80% of the final guest count, ESPECIALLY if you have a good bar and entertainment. This will save money on chair rentals/decorations so you have extra funds for said bar and entertainment. Have several high-top "cocktail" tables (about one for every three to four tables with chairs) so people can gather around them and still have a place to put down their plates to eat and drink before partying and dancing. " In fact I would much prefer to have more table space than chairs as a guest. If you can't stand in heels for more than 45 min. and have back problems then you probably shouldn't be wearing heels. A reception might be a thank you to the guests for attending, but the bride is paying for your food and drink so you all just sound ungrateful and spoiled.
Posted by MDORSEY22[/QUOTE]

Gosh, you're smart. 

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_folks-continually-think-this-acceptable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a9e11f0-ef4a-4ad8-a3c0-d976a9849d4cPost:13e025b4-d550-41ae-875c-cd7742cf584e">Re: Why do folks continually think this is acceptable?</a>:
[QUOTE]It sounds like you all are selfish and incosiderate.
<strong>And you are a raving moron.  Congratulations.</strong>

It is the brides day, the brides reception.
<strong>No it is not.  The reception is for the GUESTS.  Also, what about the groom?  is it not his wedding day and his party as well?  Oh no, th ebride is all that matters.</strong>

I was recently part of a wedding that shocker of all NO ONE SAT at all during the ceremony. While it was a short ceremony no one complained or bickered.
<strong>Maybe not to you, probably because they know the type of reaction you would have, but I bet they were complaining amongst each other.</strong>

How many of you have gone to house parties, house warming parties, proms, business receptions, other dances and sat the entire time?
<strong>Actually, I have.  I have a disability, and even in sneakers cannot stand for more than 15-20 minutes at a time, and no I would never notify the host ahead of time.  If I were to show up and now have a seat, I would stay for as long as I could and then leave.</strong>

Actual ettiquate is seating for  75-80% "As a wedding planner, I often advise clients who are having a cocktail/heavy o'd reception to have seating for 75-80% of the final guest count, ESPECIALLY if you have a good bar and entertainment. This will save money on chair rentals/decorations so you have extra funds for said bar and entertainment. Have several high-top "cocktail" tables (about one for every three to four tables with chairs) so people can gather around them and still have a place to put down their plates to eat and drink before partying and dancing. "
<strong>So you're a wedding planner?  Then you need to get the hell off the boards.  It's against the TOS for you to be here.  And if that's a quote, then who are you quoting?</strong>

 In fact I would much prefer to have more table space than chairs as a guest.
<strong>I'd rather have a chair and a table, but if it came down to it, I NEED a chair and a table is just a desire.</strong>

If you can't stand in heels for more than 45 min. and have back problems then you probably shouldn't be wearing heels.
<strong>As you can see by my above responses, it's not always heels that are the problem.</strong>

A reception might be a thank you to the guests for attending, but the bride is paying for your food and drink so you all just sound ungrateful and spoiled.
<strong>If the bride doens't wan tto properly entertain her guests she can feel free to JOP it and not invite guests.  When she chooses to include guests in her SPAYSHUL DAYYYYY she needs to consider their feelings and comfort.</strong>  <strong>Not doing so makes the bride ungrateful and spoiled.  After all, these people are taking time out of their day, paying for travel, and buying a gift for the couple, so it's not like the guests are not shelling out at all.</strong>
Posted by MDORSEY22[/QUOTE]

MDORSEY22

A reception is a thank you. Bitching about how they didn't have a reception the way you would like it that convenienced you is like someone thanking you for doing a favor yet complaining that you didn't like the way they pronounced thank you.

I am not a wedding planner, that is a quote from a wedding planner. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and it is rediculous that you are so disrespectful about the fact that seating for all guests is not always possible based on the venue.

At the wedding I was a BM for the ceremony was about 20 minutes, the recpetion did have seating for everyone, but it wasn't until people started moving around and not sitting did the party get started!

Lasairiona

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_folks-continually-think-this-acceptable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a9e11f0-ef4a-4ad8-a3c0-d976a9849d4cPost:13e025b4-d550-41ae-875c-cd7742cf584e">Re: Why do folks continually think this is acceptable?</a>:
[QUOTE]It sounds like you all are selfish and incosiderate. It is the brides day, the brides reception. I was recently part of a wedding that shocker of all NO ONE SAT at all during the ceremony. While it was a short ceremony no one complained or bickered. How many of you have gone to house parties, house warming parties, proms, business receptions, other dances and sat the entire time? Actual ettiquate is seating for  75-80% "As a wedding planner, I often advise clients who are having a cocktail/heavy o'd reception to have seating for 75-80% of the final guest count, ESPECIALLY if you have a good bar and entertainment. This will save money on chair rentals/decorations so you have extra funds for said bar and entertainment. Have several high-top "cocktail" tables (about one for every three to four tables with chairs) so people can gather around them and still have a place to put down their plates to eat and drink before partying and dancing. " In fact I would much prefer to have more table space than chairs as a guest. If you can't stand in heels for more than 45 min. and have back problems then you probably shouldn't be wearing heels. A reception might be a thank you to the guests for attending, but the bride is paying for your food and drink so you all just sound ungrateful and spoiled.
Posted by MDORSEY22[/QUOTE]
For the record, all of your information is wrong. Proper etiquette says to make sure that every single one of your guests is taken care of, not to play favorites. Also, if the wedding was the bride's day, then no one would else would have any need to show up, including the groom. You need to get your head out of the clouds and come down to reality.

kimheartsscott

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_folks-continually-think-this-acceptable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a9e11f0-ef4a-4ad8-a3c0-d976a9849d4cPost:09ceb17c-12fa-4ff2-b1f9-5cc0fa9bbb8e">Re: Why do folks continually think this is acceptable?</a>:
[QUOTE]That way if <strong>someone does have a condition they could mention it to the bride </strong>or plan accordingly.
Posted by MDORSEY22[/QUOTE]

I'm picturing someone in my family doing this, and listening to my dad's 40 minute explanation about how he has a fake knee because of 'Nam, and how his back always hurts because of 'Nam, and how he can't lean up against something because his fake shoulder because of 'Nam. 


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Is that seriously how you would want to spend your reception? 

Not that what you are suggesting in any way could be approriate. 

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_folks-continually-think-this-acceptable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a9e11f0-ef4a-4ad8-a3c0-d976a9849d4cPost:25da135b-e51f-4fc4-b664-f13fa97e22fb">Re: Why do folks continually think this is acceptable?</a>:
[QUOTE] Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and it is rediculous that you are so disrespectful about the fact that seating for all guests is not always possible based on the venue.
Posted by MDORSEY22[/QUOTE]
It's r<strong>i</strong>diculous that you would be so disrespectful to your guests.  If all of your guests can't comfortably fit in your venue (with a chair for each person) you either need to find a new venue or cut your guest list.  You don't get to treat people like shiit just because you feel liek it.

As for the wedding planner quote, wedding planners are not always right.  Many wedding planners tell their clients it's okay to put registry cards in the invites and it clearly is not.

Lasairiona

How about this gem:

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_drinks-apps-onlywhat-tables?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:c12aaa9b-ed9c-444d-8982-7c6741546b54Post:7c04b5cd-23a1-4a53-8810-cdb40585f814">Re: Drinks and Apps only...what to do with tables?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would just put on the invite, cocktail reception with limited seating to follow. That way people are prepared.
Posted by MDORSEY22[/QUOTE]
You would only do something like this if you hated your guests and didn't want anyone to show up at all.

MDORSEY22

Bride and groom's day irregardless, it is a day for the couple and they are polite enough to invite anyone else. Please share with me where it says this is proper etiquette when having a cocktail reception. I have provided research to back my statements all you do is say what YOU think should happen.

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_folks-continually-think-this-acceptable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a9e11f0-ef4a-4ad8-a3c0-d976a9849d4cPost:865fd9f6-f4f4-40ac-a7d0-fdc5493d8a35">Re: Why do folks continually think this is acceptable?</a>:
[QUOTE]Bride and groom's day irregardless, it is a day for the couple and they are polite enough to invite anyone else. Please share with me where it says this is proper etiquette when having a cocktail reception. I have provided research to back my statements all you do is say what YOU think should happen.
Posted by MDORSEY22[/QUOTE]
I'd love to see this "research" you provided.  You offered an uncited quote, which is comparable to someone just offering an opinion.