Ready to Freak out;(

YvonneDreptate

SO How do I even begin. I have a huge problem...
Most of my Fiances family is in Romania and can't get Visas to come to the US and Most of my family would never think to fly to Romania.  So we have decided on Mexico so far, most of both our familys will probably not show up... because of the cost...
ug.. it kind of sucks and takes the fun out of planning the wedding.
Any help??

YvonneDreptate

SO How do I even begin. I have a huge problem...
Most of my Fiances family is in Romania and can't get Visas to come to the US and Most of my family would never think to fly to Romania.  So we have decided on Mexico so far, most of both our familys will probably not show up... because of the cost...
ug.. it kind of sucks and takes the fun out of planning the wedding.
Any help??

xyrius

perhaps videotape the ceremony for the relatives that can't come?

Stackeye210

When you choose to do a destination wedding in some place out of the country like Mexico it makes it very hard for anyone to come.  Those are the risks you have to take.  Do you not want a wedding in your hometown for fear it will hurt FI feelings that a lot of his family can't be there? 

mkrupar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ready-freak-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b30c59c-3461-412f-9af8-ebd262f20c5aPost:16915896-e1e1-4c6b-bc3b-6c32ca2cb176">Re: Ready to Freak out;(</a>:
[QUOTE]When you choose to do a destination wedding in some place out of the country like Mexico it makes it very hard for anyone to come.  Those are the risks you have to take.  <strong>Do you not want a wedding in your hometown for fear it will hurt FI feelings that a lot of his family can't be there?</strong> 
Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]

I was wondering the same thing. Why not have the wedding in the US so at least one of your families could attend, and then you all can go to Romania and celebrate with his family. Is it better to have some of your family than none at all?

xyrius

stacks i think for her FI's family it would end up being a destination wedding in the us anyway, and vice versa if they got married in romania - plus it looks like the romanian relatives aren't able to come to a u.s. wedding... i could be wrong though but thats how i understood it

tpender13

Either way, it sounds like you're not going to have a lot of people there. Maybe there's a way you can stream it online so people can watch? Or just record it and post/send the video to people.

Or maybe you two can just visit his family in Romania after the wedding.

Stackeye210

Oh - so the Romanians can't get in the US and she doesn't think either can afford to go to Mexico.  Got it.

Is there a way to have the wedding in the US and skype the wedding to the Romanians and then go celebrate with them for your honeymoon afterwards?  Or video the wedding and take it to Romania to share and celebrate with them?  Then everyone is included. 

vsgal

Just curious as to why they can't get visas?  Your wedding is over a year away, so the timing is not a problem.  We got visas to visit China in one day through the Embassy for $200.

LuluP82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ready-freak-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b30c59c-3461-412f-9af8-ebd262f20c5aPost:eefa4200-2e3a-4e8e-a900-ed74970e1ae7">Re: Ready to Freak out;(</a>:
[QUOTE]Just curious as to why they can't get visas?  Your wedding is over a year away, so the timing is not a problem.  We got visas to visit China in one day through the Embassy for $200.
Posted by vsgal[/QUOTE]

It is ridiculously hard to get US visas for foreigners. Like, really hard. You have to apply. You have to pay a lot of money (it's only a couple hundred dollars, but it's a lot in a lot of places). You have to prove you have something tying you down to your country (because they're afraid you'll come in on a tourist visa and just stay illegally). You have to show, frequently, that someone here is going to take care of you if sh!t happens so you won't be a burden on taxpayers. The list goes on and on and on.

SarahPLiz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ready-freak-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b30c59c-3461-412f-9af8-ebd262f20c5aPost:83172223-819d-4cf2-83c8-54b0247e7344">Ready to Freak out;(</a>:
[QUOTE]SO How do I even begin. I have a huge problem... Most of my Fiances family is in Romania and can't get Visas to come to the US and Most of my family would never think to fly to Romania.  So we have decided on Mexico so far, most of both our familys will probably not show up... because of the cost... ug.. it kind of sucks and takes the fun out of planning the wedding. Any help??
Posted by YvonneDreptate[/QUOTE]

<div>Welcome to my life. We are having our wedding here. 3 out of FI's family members who live in the US are coming to the wedding, including his parents. We didn't invite anyone from Romania because he felt bad about it. Most of them couldn't afford to even get a visa, much less a plane ticket. His mom wants us to send announcements, but he thinks that is gift grabby and won't do it. </div><div>
</div><div>Most of my family has to travel to our wedding because we don't live near them, but it is in the US. Maybe consider getting married wherever you live. It makes planning easier. </div>

SarahPLiz

In addition, FI is technically a man with no country, not a citizen here and they don't recognize him there and won't let him back in. We can't even visit until he finishes his citizenship process here and gets a passport. That complicates things further. 

LuluP82

If you have the budget, I'd consider doing 2 weddings. Maybe do a civil here and a religious there or something.

KaylaSue19

I think having a U.S. wedding is the way to go. I agree with the ideas about videotaping and then going to Romania. Have a big party in Romania and show the video of the wedding there.

SarahPLiz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ready-freak-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b30c59c-3461-412f-9af8-ebd262f20c5aPost:53c527f3-9b38-4f32-b79d-d05958d13f16">Re: Ready to Freak out;(</a>:
[QUOTE]I think having a U.S. wedding is the way to go. I agree with the ideas about videotaping and then going to Romania. Have a big party in Romania and show the video of the wedding there.
Posted by KaylaSue19[/QUOTE]

<div> i agree. If FI could legally enter Romania, that's what we'd be doing. </div>

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ready-freak-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b30c59c-3461-412f-9af8-ebd262f20c5aPost:eefa4200-2e3a-4e8e-a900-ed74970e1ae7">Re: Ready to Freak out;(</a>:
[QUOTE]Just curious as to why they can't get visas?  Your wedding is over a year away, so the timing is not a problem.  We got visas to visit China in one day through the Embassy for $200.
Posted by vsgal[/QUOTE]

Yeeeeah, you've clearly never known anyone who's tried to come to the US from anywhere except a visa waiver country (think W. Europe, Australia).

emilyinchile

One of the factors in deciding to have our wedding in Chile was that my close family and friends could come here without visas whereas H's parents/brother/groomsmen might not have been able to go to the US. So in your shoes, I'd seriously considering doing things in Romania as long as the absolute key people like your parents and siblings could afford to go.

Otherwise, I think two celebrations may be the way to go, one in the US and one in Romania. I'd vote for doing the actual legal wedding in the US just because that might make paperwork easier for you, then do some kind of party (and/or religious ceremony if you're religious) in Romania.

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ready-freak-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b30c59c-3461-412f-9af8-ebd262f20c5aPost:346cf845-56ee-4a44-be94-87aad2a005a9">Re: Ready to Freak out;(</a>:
[QUOTE]It still seems unfair to me to have the wedding in the US and show a video in Romania.  How would your parents feel if you had the wedding in Romania and just sent them a video? I<strong>s FI actually banned from entering Romania, or is he just not a citizen and has no passport?  Once you two are married I'm assuming he'll become a U.S. citizen</strong> (although I'm not sure how long this takes; I think there's some sort of temporary status although I don't know if you can get a passport with that or not).  Could you get legally married in the US and then get him a passport and have a second wedding in Romania?
Posted by lenergyrlah[/QUOTE]

Sorry to post 8,000 times in this thread. But the non-citizen Romanian is not OP's FI, it's Sarah's. Read.

And people, if you don't know about immigration issues, just hush - posting about how you think US immigration works without having the slightest clue makes you look silly. Marrying a foreigner doesn't make them a US citizen, it just gives them the ability to apply for a green card. After many years they may then become eligible for citizenship, which is something you have to apply for.

SarahPLiz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ready-freak-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b30c59c-3461-412f-9af8-ebd262f20c5aPost:c11ce68b-58c1-4449-8a2b-fa572a5043dc">Re: Ready to Freak out;(</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ready to Freak out;( : Sorry to post 8,000 times in this thread. But the non-citizen Romanian is not OP's FI, it's Sarah's. Read. <strong>And people, if you don't know about immigration issues, just hush - posting about how you think US immigration works without having the slightest clue makes you look silly</strong>. Marrying a foreigner doesn't make them a US citizen, it just gives them the ability to apply for a green card. After many years they may then become eligible for citizenship, which is something you have to apply for.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]
Thank you, emily. <div>MY FI is a permanent resident and is eligible to apply for citizenship for a year but has not yet, for his own personal reasons. He has been here for 17 years. He tried to go back to Romania for a funeral when he was in college and was not allowed to leave the US and enter Romania. It probably has to do with the fact that he left under asylum status as a pre-teen, but we don't really know. </div><div>
</div><div>We can't afford to fly my family to Romania, and it appears that neither can OP. Sometimes we have to make hard choices in life. I think that if OP and her FI have decided to make the US their home, they should have their wedding here. </div>

Anysunrise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ready-freak-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b30c59c-3461-412f-9af8-ebd262f20c5aPost:b5722159-311d-4949-876c-1b6bd4601b12">Re: Ready to Freak out;(</a>:
[QUOTE]Emily, I guess I'm "silly" for assuming that he would be applying for citizenship.  I wasn't aware that I had to be an immigrant in order to post on this thread.  Evidently the fact that I know multiple people who have married non-US citizens doesn't qualify as "the slightest clue." If you had actually read my post, you would have noticed that I mentioned temporary status, etc.  I have no idea how you misconstrued that to mean that marrying a foreigner automatically makes them a US citizen.
Posted by lenergyrlah[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>Because that temporary status you're talking about is 3 years after you get your green card from being married, if I'm not mistaken.  Your post definitely didn't construe that you were referencing that amount of time, at least, it didn't to me.</div>

Birdie1483

OP, if I were you, I would either try to plan a wedding with your family in the US with (hopefully) a reception later with your FI/DH's family in Romania

OR

make the best of a Mexican wedding and really do it up. You can make a destination wedding a great time for you, FI and the family that can come. If money allows, plan excursions and other stuff that you can really look forward to besides the obvious excitement of the actual nuptials.

I know it will be disappointing to not have your family with you, but if you find an awesome location, I think you can definitely make lemonade out of these lemons.

cupcakesfrosting

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ready-freak-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b30c59c-3461-412f-9af8-ebd262f20c5aPost:b5722159-311d-4949-876c-1b6bd4601b12">Re: Ready to Freak out;(</a>:
[QUOTE]Emily, I guess I'm "silly" for assuming that he would be applying for citizenship.  <strong>I wasn't aware that I had to be an immigrant in order to post on this thread.</strong>  Evidently the fact that I know multiple people who have married non-US citizens doesn't qualify as "the slightest clue." If you had actually read my post, you would have noticed that I mentioned temporary status, etc.  I have no idea how you misconstrued that to mean that marrying a foreigner automatically makes them a US citizen.
Posted by lenergyrlah[/QUOTE]

Rude.

OP, I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I would try to do two ceremonies (parties, whatever) so that everyone you love and hold dear are able to witness and celebrate with you. But a wedding in Mexico sounds pretty awesome.. Good Luck! :)

aMrsin09

OP, I was kind of in your shoes.  H's family couldn't afford to come to the US and my family couldn't aford to come to Australia.  For immigration purposes, it was better to get married in Australia.  We tried to webcam it, but our connection wasn't fast enough (OZ internet issues).

Skype can't do video conference calls, but there are other sites that can do video streaming.  Can you stream it to the US and Romania?