Reception food?

catj131

Hi all, I mostly lurk rather than post... but I want to get your thoughts on this.

I'm getting married in January (so excited!! ). Our budget is a little bit tight, at least relative to the averages proclaimed by the wedding industry, so to save money we're having an afternoon wedding (1pm) and the reception in another room in the church. Based on the church's rules, the reception can't last more than 3 hours, which means that we'll have made the exit to our limo by 5pm at the absolute latest (but probably between 4:30 and 4:45). With this time frame, I would like to just have a cake and punch reception--the guests will have already had lunch before getting to the church, and dinner hour doesn't start until afterwards. Having any additional food will cost a lot of money, as the church doesn't let you bring in any food (you have to work with one of their three approved caterers, and while they're not egregious, they're not the cheapest in the area either). Ditching the caterer also means that we don't have to make agonizing cuts on our guest list because of a per-plate cost--we can celebrate with all the people we love.

So far, so good. However, my mother is concerned that everyone will get hungry and leave. She's not forcing the issue at all--and having read parent horror stories on here, I want to emphasize that this isn't a situation like that! She's just concerned enough that it's making me second-guess my decision a little (even though I don't think she's right). So I guess two questions: 1) there's nothing wrong with just a cake and punch reception manners-wise right? (we will of course mention it on the invitation so that our guests aren't expecting a full dinner!), and 2) my mother's concern is as unfounded as I think it is?

TheBaysideBride

IMO, cake and punch is fine! Is there dancing? If it's just socializing, I don't think people will be too hungry, but if there is dancing (or if it's at all possible) I'd also consider coffee and pastries. Nothing elaborate.
Congrats!

ZiggyZos

Honestly, I think a 1 PM wedding may still be a bit early for just cake and punch. If people arrive early (12:30), that means they are likely leaving right around noon, which is, of course, lunch time. Could you push your ceremony back? Even half an hour? Outside of that, no I don't feel there is anything wrong with what you are doing from an etiquette standpoint. ETA: if you can't push back, I have no qualms with your timing, since you aren't starting right at noon or anything.

AdeleDazeem

You're doing cake and punch right!  1pm ceremony time followed by a reception that lasts until 5pm at the latest is peeeerfect for cake and punch.  Go for it!

You might want to throw some food in for those who don't want so much sweetness.  A cheese and cracker tray might be nice, but no need to serve a full meal at that time of day.

nda8414

I think that sounds nice, are you going to mention on the invitation that cake and punch will be served after? Something like, "a dessert reception to follow"?

catj131

Unfortunately we can't push back--the church is very strict about lots of things, including when weddings can start (either 12pm or 1pm for an afternoon wedding). And I wish we could just bring in a cheese and cracker tray, or pastries--the reception will be mostly dancing!--but because of the rules about only using approved caterers (and absolutely no self-catering), we're essentially stuck with either cake and punch or a full round of hoeur d'ouvres. Thanks so much for the suggestions--there are several I wish I could take. (Yes... the church's restrictions are already driving me up. the. wall.)

Wheels987

That sounds about right to me! I would not see anything wrong with it at all.

Btw, from reading your post/username too quickly I definitely thought the post name was "Reception cat food?" and thought "what kind of crazy pet wedding is this?!" . I was happy to see this was not the case!

lyndausvi

I think a cake and punch reception is acceptable.  However, I don't think I would stay more than an hour or so.   I just don't see it lasting until 5pm.  More like 3-4 depending on how long the ceremony is.

Oh and 1 pm is lunch time for me.  Depending on how far I am from the church I might not eat before hand.

lisabeats

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-food-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8bf18da5-b798-4ac5-bb7f-4a6cf5aa8570Post:ebd2789d-e80c-4cb3-a389-6ce4601a45a9">Re: Reception food?</a>:
[QUOTE]That sounds about right to me! I would not see anything wrong with it at all. Btw, from reading your post/username too quickly I definitely thought the post name was "Reception cat food?" and thought "what kind of crazy pet wedding is this?!" . I was happy to see this was not the case!
Posted by Wheels987[/QUOTE]


I can't tell you how much this made me laugh. And no, I'm not at all making fun of the name, I just see where Wheels got the idea and think it's funny.

Overall, I think it sounds like a good plan! Kudos to you to be willing to go outside of the PPD-box!

catj131

Yes, we will specify dessert reception or cake and punch reception on the invitation.

And as regards the getaway car, the limo will cost us about $100, whereas catering would cost us at least $2000. (Also, in a strange twist of events, renting a limo for one hour is less expensive than driving our own car because of the egregious cost of parking in downtown Seattle... We could save $30 if we had a smaller car pick us up, but we're not quite to the point of pinching EVERY penny.)

catj131

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-food-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8bf18da5-b798-4ac5-bb7f-4a6cf5aa8570Post:ebd2789d-e80c-4cb3-a389-6ce4601a45a9">Re: Reception food?</a>:
[QUOTE] Btw, from reading your post/username too quickly I definitely thought the post name was "Reception cat food?" and thought "what kind of crazy pet wedding is this?!" . I was happy to see this was not the case!
Posted by Wheels987[/QUOTE]
Hahaha! If my 11-year old self had her way, the post might have read "Reception horse food?" but thankfully I've long since grown out of the pet-wedding thing. ;)

Wheels987

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-food-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8bf18da5-b798-4ac5-bb7f-4a6cf5aa8570Post:b6c93340-4c5f-4857-85ea-ea496208abea">Re: Reception food?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception food? : Hahaha! If my 11-year old self had her way, the post might have read "Reception horse food?" but thankfully I've long since grown out of the pet-wedding thing. ;)
Posted by catj131[/QUOTE]

I dressed my cat in a white baby dress so he (yes, he) could marry my Ken doll. My parents were not amused when they caughted me annoucing Ken could kiss the "bride". No sense of humor!

Have fun planning!

[Deleted User]

I'd be fine with a cake and punch reception at that time as long as it said it on the invite. I'd know to eat ahead of time and maybe stash a granola bar in my purse in case I needed something more substantial. I'd say go for it!

Knottie_22382049

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-food-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8bf18da5-b798-4ac5-bb7f-4a6cf5aa8570Post:cd05728f-a373-446e-b761-b4e3b67dda18">Re: Reception food?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd be fine with a cake and punch reception at that time as long as it said it on the invite. I'd know to eat ahead of time and maybe stash a granola bar in my purse in case I needed something more substantial. I'd say go for it!
Posted by vonclancy[/QUOTE]

<div>This! As long as they know not to expect a meal you will be fine. </div>

STARMOON44

I think cake and punch is fine, but you should plan on a 2 hour reception and no dancing. I just don't think people will stay for 3 hours with cake, and unless you have a very dancy circle of friends, people aren't going to dance at 2 in the afternoon with a cup of punch.

MoonlightSilver

Would your venue let you bring in edible favors? That might be a way to offer some more food. 

bopple321

My sister had a "dessert only" reception for her wedding and it was really beautiful.  She got a small cake just for cutting, then an assortment of individual-sized cakes, cookies and other desserts for people to pick at during the festivities.  She made sangria and had other drinks availale (we did this at a private residence so none of the normal bartending/serving considerations were an issue.  Just popped some bottles and people helped themselves).  I think this is a fine idea and your wedding will be pretty AND yummy!

QueerFemme

I honestly think that people will begin to leave after 2 hours with zero food.  If you have some light appetizers only, catered by one of the approved caterers, is there any way you can fit it into the budget? 

I understand that you are on a strict budget, but people will arrive between 12:15-12:45, and they likely would have left their homes/hotels between 11:00-12:00, depending on traffic and location, and your send-off isn't until 4:30.  4-5hours of no food is a little long, and I would guess most guests would start leaving around 3pm.

orangehills

I'd put cake and punch on the invite, not dessert reception because people may think you have a full dessert bar set up which are big these days. Make sure you have a really big cake too so everyone can get a decent sized piece! And some coffee as well as punch, and water of course. Other than those things, I think that is a perfectly acceptable timeline, but maybe plan to have the limo on standby because I don't think people would stay until 5 to be honest. I'm having a full dinner and I think my whole thing will only last 3 hours since I'm not having dancing.

OwningAHome1981

I think you should provide some snack foods as previous posters have mentioned. You cant assume people would have eaten beforehand. Cake and punch really isnt much food and some people may not like sweets or be able to eat them.

Ella and Pedro

I concur with posters who suggest adding a small selection of non-sugary choices - veggies and dip? Fresh fruit of a low sugar variety that's tidy to eat with a napkin - such as melon, orange and apple slices? Cheese and crackers?  I have several family members with diabetes, and myself try to balance sweets with other foods to keep from developing diabetes.  And, in addition to adults with health concerns, I think you should consider this if you have children with ADHD (or even just - children) as guests.  Anyway, just my two cents worth.