Wedding Etiquette Forum

Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it

Our wedding party is having a stag and doe for us and my MIL-to-be designed the tickets and when I saw them last night I noticed an important piece of information was missing... the location. Not just the address, but the name of the venue. I know my SIL and FIL-to-be told her that it was missing before she gave them to my parents, but it seems like she doesn't want to reprint them (I can't blame her, it probably was a lot of work). 

When my MOH designed the tickets I know she put the address on them and I guess my MIL had to do some reformatting and maybe it was just an oversight, but I am worried people won't know where to go. I know word of mouth works well, but I have family from out of town and work friends from a different town who I am sure will come.

My Mom wrote the name of the venue on the back of her tickets, do you think this will be sufficient? Pretty much everything is worrying me lately, so maybe I am just overreacting.
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Re: Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it

  • Stag and Doe fundraisers do not go over well here, so just be forewarned...
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  • Yea I was worried about that, but everyone has them here.. kind of like cash bars lol even though we aren't doing that
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doe-tickets-do-not-have-the-location-on-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ca691dd-3ae5-4a9b-a0ca-aa5447822d0aPost:b4037096-c4da-43de-ba99-c4faa7d6f5cc">Re: Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it</a>:
    [QUOTE]Good, hopefully no one will show up.
    Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]
    Ok, so sometiems I'm mean, but I think this is uncalled for. The B&G are not throwing the party, and it seems to be the custom in their area. 
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  • I would just write the location on the back of them like your mom did.  I personally am fine with Stag parties and/or Stag and Doe because they are very common in my hometown and I know that people who are used to them actually enjoy them and look forward to them.  Only you (and your WP) know if this is common and accepted in your area.
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  • See, they are common in my area too, and I hate them, but to each their own. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doe-tickets-do-not-have-the-location-on-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ca691dd-3ae5-4a9b-a0ca-aa5447822d0aPost:b743dd0f-e03b-4164-b1e6-3536944b2503">Re: Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it</a>:
    [QUOTE]Since it is against ETIQUETTE and is actually more of a CUSTOM or TRADITION. Maybe you should go to the CT board. There are plenty of traditions that are against etiquette. Also, ditto Eags.
    Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yes, because clearly only etiquette questions are answered on this board :/</div><div>
    </div><div>Eh, I'm not a fan of them either, as they are against etiquette, but OP, I think writing the location on the back is your best bet.</div>
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  • I knew people weren't a fan of them on here, but I didn't realize that they were against etiquette.. it's strange because around here it would be strange if there wasn't one thrown for a couple getting married.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doe-tickets-do-not-have-the-location-on-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ca691dd-3ae5-4a9b-a0ca-aa5447822d0aPost:d78fece6-70d8-4706-a06f-b65b4354a8f1">Re: Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it</a>:
    [QUOTE]I knew people weren't a fan of them on here, but I didn't realize that they were against etiquette.. it's strange because around here it would be strange if there wasn't one thrown for a couple getting married.
    Posted by Katelyn89[/QUOTE]

    <div>That's how my hometown is too.  A couple gets engaged and the guys immediately start asking about and planning the stag party.  </div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doe-tickets-do-not-have-the-location-on-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ca691dd-3ae5-4a9b-a0ca-aa5447822d0aPost:06a4d5b2-f82a-40a6-a607-05cf92e6e7cf">Re: Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it : So why post it on the Etiquette board?  Just because it's customary doesn't make it okay.  I personally find the custom/tradition/whatever you call it gauche.  Hence my reaction.
    Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

    <div>Because people who are used to something don't know it's not normal.  I had no fucking clue that not everyone did a stag party before TK, just like people who are accustomed to Dollar Dances don't realize that not everyone does those.  Or things like head table, honeymoon registries, etc.  Calm down killer.</div>
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  • In Response to Re:Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it:In Response to Re: Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it : So why post it on the Etiquette board?nbsp; Just because it's customary doesn't make it okay.nbsp; I personally find the custom/tradition/whatever you call it gauche.nbsp; Hence my reaction.Posted by EaglesBride2012Because people who are used to something don't know it's not normal. nbsp;I had no fucking clue that not everyone did a stag party before TK, just like people who are accustomed to Dollar Dances don't realize that not everyone does those. nbsp;Or things like head table, honeymoon registries, etc. nbsp;Calm down killer. Posted by Beachy730[/QUOTE]
    Or the catholic gap. Thats super common in my area.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doe-tickets-do-not-have-the-location-on-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ca691dd-3ae5-4a9b-a0ca-aa5447822d0aPost:19b62f42-ca08-4874-b12c-960e5b051fce">Re:Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it: Or the catholic gap. Thats super common in my area.
    Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]

    They're very common in my hometown but they still suck, especially for out of town guests.

    At least someone can decline a stag and doe.
    Lizzie
  • Habs2HartHabs2Hart member
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited April 2012
    Really, my big problem with them is that, around here anyway, everyone is invited to them, and people who aren't invited to the wedding are asked to attend a fundraiser.  ALSO, I've known people who have $50,000 + weddings have fundraisers and that's just bizarre to me.  However, they happen and I'm not going to go throwing etiquette books in the faces of my friends around here who have them. 

    Cash bars are also common here, as is putting your registry info on your invitation and having a big gap (catholic wedding or not).  I live in awesomeness central apparently. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doe-tickets-do-not-have-the-location-on-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ca691dd-3ae5-4a9b-a0ca-aa5447822d0aPost:2a45a902-94a8-451a-9f09-4331a7f1bad3">Re:Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it : They're very common in my hometown but they still suck, especially for out of town guests. At least someone can decline a stag and doe.
    Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

    <div>Because they can't decline a wedding invitation?</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doe-tickets-do-not-have-the-location-on-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ca691dd-3ae5-4a9b-a0ca-aa5447822d0aPost:5d49a8a2-576d-406b-b713-e6c72a9fb022">Re:Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it : Because they can't decline a wedding invitation?
    Posted by Beachy730[/QUOTE]

    Well of course they can, or they can choose to only attend the reception (which I see happen a lot but I still find rude). I just feel as though, in my (likely unpopular around here) opinion, I take etiquette faux pas at related events a little less seriously. Unless you invite me to a shower and not the wedding. That would make me livid. Cash bars or dollar dances come across as more egregious violations to me because you're doing it to a captive audience. Anyone attending a stag and doe (which I'd never heard of before I came to these boards and do very much find gauche) knows what they're getting into before they go.
    Lizzie
  • Eagles, I think this is an odd thing to get worked up over.  No one in the above situation seems offended by what's going on.  Yeah, it's not perfect etiquette, but in my experience, sometimes people enjoy this kind of stuff.  If it's not upsetting anyone who thefuck cares.
    panther
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doe-tickets-do-not-have-the-location-on-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ca691dd-3ae5-4a9b-a0ca-aa5447822d0aPost:b58d6e66-8c81-448f-be87-712a4f680c38">Re: Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it : Oh, well, since you told me, sure thing. 
    Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

    <div>Whatever.  You were being bitchy for no reason, and trying to tell people where to post.  Clearly this OP didn't realize it was considered rude for most people.  </div>
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  • Haha, if I can't attend a fundraising event I don't feel like an asshole.  I just feel poor.

    That's just how I feel though.
    panther
  • Good lord this board has gone soft.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doe-tickets-do-not-have-the-location-on-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ca691dd-3ae5-4a9b-a0ca-aa5447822d0aPost:8e306f59-6246-41d9-b594-034a6a1676c0">Re: Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it : <strong>And then I apologized for being harsh.  So.  That's that.</strong>  I personally always feel pressured to attend fundraising events and if I don't have the money or desire to attend, I feel like an asshole, so maybe that's where I'm coming from.
    Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

    Yes, you did, which I think was the right and nice thing to do, but beachy are you really saying no one should have mentioned at all that this goes against etiquette to this girl? Do we need to all jump in and immediately attack? I think definitely no, but it would be doing her a disservice to not at least mention that a lot of people find it rude.
    Lizzie
  • In Response to Re:Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it:[QUOTE]Cew, don't look at me.nbsp; I'm an evil bitch. Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

    You sure are. I thought your comment was funny, btw.
  • Eagles, what in hell is a beef and beer?
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  • I feel like it should be beef n' beer just because that's cooler. 
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  • I like how getting worked up about someone doing a stag and doe is saying "Good, hopefully no one will show up. "

    I laughed Eagles. Fyi. I guess I am a biitch too.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doe-tickets-do-not-have-the-location-on-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ca691dd-3ae5-4a9b-a0ca-aa5447822d0aPost:2fcd7d54-0d5a-48af-945b-d909c53346eb">Re: Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it</a>:
    [QUOTE]I like how getting worked up about someone doing a stag and doe is saying "Good, hopefully no one will show up. " I laughed Eagles. Fyi. I guess I am a biitch too.
    Posted by Rosie109[/QUOTE]

    Any more room on the b!tch bench?  I thought Eagles' comment in my head before I even opened the thread.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doe-tickets-do-not-have-the-location-on-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ca691dd-3ae5-4a9b-a0ca-aa5447822d0aPost:40b93899-8a42-4b0b-aae2-704c54e4b377">Re: Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it</a>:
    [QUOTE]Steph, they don't have those up there???  It's a fundraiser where your ticket gets you food and draft beer.  The main dish is usually hot roast beef sandwiches, hence the name, but you usually get some sort of baked ziti or lasagna, salads, etc. too.  There are raffles and auctions, usually a DJ, stuff like that.  It's basically a party for a cause...maybe your kid's high school baseball team needs money for uniforms, or somebody's Uncle Joe has cancer and they donate money to him, etc. 
    Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

    We just call them "fundraisers" here - we're not clever.  :-)
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  • We do stuff like that here, Eagles, but we don't call them beer and beef (or was it beef and beer?  anywho), we just call them fundraisers or benefits, because NoDaker's are creative like that.

    Nevermind, we actually do a hell of a lot of pancake feeds and spaghetti feeds.  Which conjures up A LOT of pleasant imagery.
    panther
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doe-tickets-do-not-have-the-location-on-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ca691dd-3ae5-4a9b-a0ca-aa5447822d0aPost:40b93899-8a42-4b0b-aae2-704c54e4b377">Re: Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it</a>:
    [QUOTE]Steph, they don't have those up there???  It's a fundraiser where your ticket gets you food and draft beer.  The main dish is usually hot roast beef sandwiches, hence the name, but you usually get some sort of baked ziti or lasagna, salads, etc. too.  There are raffles and auctions, usually a DJ, stuff like that.  It's basically a party for a cause...maybe your kid's high school baseball team needs money for uniforms, or somebody's Uncle Joe has cancer and they donate money to him, etc. 
    Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

    I've lived in/around Philadelphia nearly my whole life and I've never heard of a Beef and Beer, either... 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doe-tickets-do-not-have-the-location-on-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ca691dd-3ae5-4a9b-a0ca-aa5447822d0aPost:e41a1ea6-6790-490d-8602-75d1c256af71">Re: Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it</a>:
    [QUOTE]JOY HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE. Also, I love Rosie so much. 
    Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

    Ha!  I dunno! 

    To be fair, I grew up in the 'burbs, but I've lived in Center City for nearly eight years now.  I could just be clueless.  That's totally possible.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stag-and-doe-tickets-do-not-have-the-location-on-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ca691dd-3ae5-4a9b-a0ca-aa5447822d0aPost:abb987a9-0f1e-4c81-a4ed-29f8cce8a96e">Stag and Doe tickets do not have the location on it</a>:
    [QUOTE]Our wedding party is having a stag and doe for us and my MIL-to-be designed the tickets and when I saw them last night I noticed an important piece of information was missing... the location. Not just the address, but the name of the venue. I know my SIL and FIL-to-be told her that it was missing before she gave them to my parents, but it seems like she doesn't want to reprint them (I can't blame her, it probably was a lot of work).  When my MOH designed the tickets I know she put the address on them and I guess my MIL had to do some reformatting and maybe it was just an oversight, but I am worried people won't know where to go. I know word of mouth works well, but I have family from out of town and work friends from a different town who I am sure will come. My Mom wrote the name of the venue on the back of her tickets, do you think this will be sufficient? Pretty much everything is worrying me lately, so maybe I am just overreacting.
    Posted by Katelyn89[/QUOTE]

    I'd take this as the perfect opportunity to decline the party.  I get it's customary for your area, but it's still gross.

    It's customary here for cash bars.  FI and I said no way.  That was quite the conversation we had with others ("why waste your money on all that alcohol",  etc).  Head tables are customary too.  Never been to a wedding without one.  I will NOT do it though.

    Just because it's the norm, doesn't mean you HAVE to follow it.  <strong>Just.Say.No.
    </strong>
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