Never thought about this until it just came up...

greygarnett

I am having an outdoor ceremony performed by the minister from my United Church that I grew up in. My mother was looking over my first draft of my seating chart and saw his name was not on there. She said that he should be invited for the meal and to have him perform grace before the meal. This doesn't bother me at all because this man performed my baptism so I have known him all my life and he is a friend of the family as well. I was just wondering is customary and I just didn't think of it at all? Also since my guests are sending back their response cards with their meal choice on it, do I send him an invite or ask him his meal choice when I meet up with him to discuss the ceremony...? This just never crossed my mind so I have no idea of the proper way to approach him on it.

baystateapple

Yes, you should send him an invite with the menu choices.  Don't be surprised if he declines, though.  A lot of times the priest/minister/JOP/officiant will decline, unless s/he's close to the couple s/he's marrying.

LP11509

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_never-thought-this-until-just-came-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8ca8fe3c-9d94-44ac-9739-053370351d08Post:627c56c0-6ad5-4290-9e85-d592fc598484">Re: Never thought about this until it just came up...</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, you should send him an invite with the menu choices.  Don't be surprised if he declines, though.  A lot of times the priest/minister/JOP/officiant will decline, unless s/he's close to the couple s/he's marrying.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

<div>This.  We had 2 officiants - the "main" officiant flew from DC to IN for our wedding. We know him very well.  The other officiant who just did the gospel is the priest of the church that we used and we didn't really know him beforehand.  We invited both to the reception, but only our main officiant came. </div>

baystateapple

We had two priests concelebrate our wedding -- my childhood pastor and my boss, who is our current pastor.  They both came to the wedding, but that was because I had a professional relationship with one, and the other is friends with my parents.  I have never gone to a wedding where the officiant came before or since.

Meaghann17

I have an add on question- should we give our priest a guest? He is a catholic priest so obviously not married but he is new to the parish and not the one we grew up with, so I really don't expect him to come because he doesnt know us that well. But if he does choose to come should he have the option of bringing someone for company?

greygarnett

Hmmm thats true, I don't know why I didn't consider that as well. My minister is married. So invite his wife as well? I'm not sure the etiquette on this (hence why I posted here) since he is being paid to do the ceremony so I don't know if there is a line between him providing a service for us and being a guest at the meal with his wife...

mica178

Traditionally, the officiant is invited to both the RD and reception as a guest.  Usually, unless you have a real relationship with the pastor/minister/priest/rabbi/JOP, that person will decline the invitation.  We had two priests at our wedding.  One was H's uncle who traveled to the wedding from Florida.  He attended all of the wedding-related events.  The other was our pastor.  He is super busy and did not attend either dinner, although he was invited.  We did not give him a guest since he knew other people there.

StacyJenniges

I come from a small town so at my sisters wedding the Officiant came to both the RD and the reception and said grace at both.  I think they sent an invitation.  I'm very happy I do not have to think of that as my Fiance's father is a paster and is officating our wedding.