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Just wondering...

A post on another board about sending out invites 4 months in advance with a RSVP's due 2 months in advance has me thinking?

Under normal circumstances are you able to correctly RSVP that far in advance for an OOT wedding?


Me - depends on the time of year.  If it was for a September wedding.  Yes, I would be able to attend.

  If it was for a late December, then I could definitely tell you I would not be able to attend. 

 Another time of year I would not really be able to tell you until 4-6 weeks out because of work.

Is it odd that I can not ask off that far in advance for time off?






What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 

Re: Just wondering...

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    A post on another board about sending out invites 4 months in advance with a RSVP's due 2 months in advance has me thinking?

    Under normal circumstances are you able to correctly RSVP that far in advance for an OOT wedding?


    Me - depends on the time of year.  If it was for a September wedding.  Yes, I would be able to attend.

      If it was for a late December, then I could definitely tell you I would not be able to attend. 

     Another time of year I would not really be able to tell you until 4-6 weeks out because of work.

    Is it odd that I can not ask off that far in advance for time off?






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    I'll be honest, I sent mine out at the recommended 6-8 weeks, and I had people who told me afterwards they thought we'd changed our minds and weren't inviting them.

    Most invitations that I get, I receive much earlier than 8 weeks.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
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    Doesn't seem odd to me, everyone's job is different.

    Isn't it kind of rude to expect people to give you two month's notice on whether or not they can attend your wedding?

    I mean, if folks are able to tell you that far in advance, awesome, but not *everyone* can.
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    If it were someone we were very close to or a close family member, we would probably know pretty far in advance that we were planning to attend.  Now if it were an acquaintance or just not a close person, I doubt my H or I would know that far in advance if we wanted to go or not.  We tend to fly by the seat of our pants a lot and it's hard to make commitments to things 3 or 4 months in advance, like I said if it's not a close friend or family member.  It's not really a work issue though for us, as long as we have leave time on the books we can use it whenever we want.
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    IMO, the standard 6 - 8 weeks works for me unless it is a destination wedding.  STD's help here.

    We had one elderly couple who didn't rsvp until two weeks before the wedding because they weren't certain both would be healthy enough to attend.  That was exactly on the rsvp date though.
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    The last invitation we received was within the 8 week window, which was plenty of time for us.

    Oddly enough at Thanksgiving I had my FI's uncle asking me when our date was because they wanted to make sure they could come. Our date is in March, and I got the impression they were expecting STDs (which we did not do).
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    I sent mine out early because it was a DW, but the RSVP wasn't until a month before the wedding. I think it's fine to send them early if you're giving people a heads up that they'll have to travel to attend, but I don' t see why that would make you need RSVPs two months in advance.
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    We're not doing STDs, and we're already (a little more than 10 months out) having people ask us about them.  Really?

    I think, considering your work Lynda, it's not weird that you don't know when you can get off or not.  FI can ask off of work, but that doesn't mean he'll get it off.  He's at the bottom of the totem pole for the time being and if a bunch of other people ask off for that same day, he's pretty much screwed.  We would not appreciate having to RSVP 2 months in advance.
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    I'd be able to work things out pretty far in advance.
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    If it's a close friend or family member I mostly likely know the date in advance anyway just from normal contact with them.  If I had a question I would just ask someone in the know (moms, the couple, etc).

    For the record sending out the invitation 4 months in advance, while a little early I do not have an issue with.   It is  the 2 month RSVP date that I have issues with.







    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    I would likely not be able to rsvp more than a few weeks to a month out either.  Only one person is allowed to take vacation time at the house I work at at a time, and most of the high seniority people have the weekends taken already.  And since we are a bit shortstaffed there's really only a few people each day who aren't working already.  So either I'll get lucky and the vacation time will be approved months ahead, or I won't and I'll have to see how the schedule is when it comes out 4 weeks ahead.  If I work, I need to find someone to work for me.

    Not everyone has the luxury of being able to take vacation time whenever like the OP's guests apparently do in that thread.
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    Fi and I would probably be able to say whether or not we'd make it that far in advance.  But like Dani said, it depends on the relationship we have with the couple.  We're skipping STDs and probably aren't going to send out invites until 2 months out.  I do have OOT family, but they are all very well aware of the wedding date and the kinds of arrangements they'll need to make in order to come. I do think it's a little rude to have the RSVP date two months out from the wedding though. If something last minute comes up for any of the guests, the couple will be stuck paying for heads that aren't there. 
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    Normally we could probably both work it out to rsvp that far in advance.  We both have jobs where we can run into issues getting time off, but knowing about it and asking for it far in advance usually works out to our advantage for that.

    We're actually sending out our invites within the next 3 weeks or so for the March wedding, but it is a distance wedding.  We sent out save the dates a while back to get the ball rolling, but still want to try to give people enough notice since its out of the country.
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    Unless it's a destination wedding it's just setting up for trouble to send invitations more than 10 weeks in advance and even worse to require RSVPs 2 months prior to the wedding.

    You'll have people who RSVP yes and then back out a few weeks beforehand or those who don't show up because they forgot since they responded so long ago.  And you may miss out on some guests who RSVP'd no because they just didn't know and erred on the side of caution.
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    I'm with moose.  I have only gotten one wedding invite 6-8 weeks before the wedding.  And it wasn't from my group or social circle.  It was for my friends from Montana.

    Usually invites come 3-4 months before.  I even got an invite 3 months before as well as a STD 6 months before.  I guess that's how we roll. 

    H and I sent ours out early and had our RSVP date 4 weeks before because I know my family and I knew I'd be chasing RSVPs. 

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    I could actually plan better. The more time I have to plan for things, the better off I normally am.

    We sent out our invites the last week of March for our May 23rd wedding, with RSVPs wanted the last week of April.
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    I'd be able to book time off pretty far in advance, so early RSVPs aren't a big deal.  I did get an invite this past April for a September wedding with an RSVP date of May 31.  I personally thought that was way too early, but what do you do?

    My invites were sent out 7 weeks before hand and I had people asking about them for the couple of weeks leading up to that.  Our RSVP date was set for 2 weeks before the wedding.
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    I don't mind getting them early as much as I despise a 2 month ahead-of-time RSVP.  I know that they don't need them that early and it sort of annoys me that they think their wedding is so important that they need 60 days to admire who is attending.

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    Oh, and my company would prefer that we had all of our holidays booked off in January so they're good with tons of notice.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
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    We have several friends in the military and lots of out of town family, so we'll be sending out the invited pretty early. The wedding date is May 15 and I'd like to have invites out by early March, with an RSVP date in April.
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