How to specify number of guests in the invitations

sshahzeena

do you address the invitation so that only a specific number of guests are invited?

danieliza1127

Address the invitation specifically to those invited.  So let's say in the household there are the parents and two teenaged children, but you only want to invite the parents.  You would just address it to the parents only:

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Address
City, State zip

If they rsvp for more than you invited, it's then your responsibility to contact them and let them know that the invitation was intended only for them and you don't have room to include the extras.

lyndausvi

ditto dani.

JK10910

Ditto Dani, of course, and some people also put a line on the RSVP card that goes something like "2 seats have been reserved in your honor" with the 2 filled in, instead of a blank line for them to write how many people are attending.  That will (hopefully) make it even more clear that the invite is only for the two people listed.

anna.oskar

You can also personalize the rsvp card to say "We have reserved ___ seats in your honor" and then fill in the blank.  However, Since you've "reserved" the seats for them, someone might bring a friend if their SO can't make it.

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_specify-number-of-guests-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8f27374c-1510-49b9-acfd-06f7b25dbddbPost:4add71e7-48ef-43fa-927e-0cec146a1024">Re: How to specify number of guests in the invitations</a>:
[QUOTE] some people also put a line on the RSVP card that goes something like "2 seats have been reserved in your honor" with the 2 filled in, instead of a blank line for them to write how many people are attending.  That will (hopefully) make it even more clear that the invite is only for the two people listed.
Posted by JK10910[/QUOTE]

The only problem with that is that if the original person you invited can't make it, but they have 2 seats reserved in their honor, they will probably pick another person to bring along instead.  That may be fine with you, and if so great, but if it's not okay with you then you probably shouldn't use that method.

september's bride

Presumably, then, the parents and brother know that you have a friendship with the three sisters and wouldn't be surprised and/or offended that the sisters received invitations to your wedding when they didn't.

I tend to lean towards including people for the sake of maintaining civil relations all-around (not just between you and that family, but between those family members in case someone is offended by not being included) and secretly hoping that they won't attend, but being prepared if they do. But, this worked for my wedding and my budget and may not work for yours. In a case like this, I'd weigh my options and decide then, perhaps after talking it over with your family. DH insisted on sending an invite to only one sibling in a household and rationalized it by saying, "I don't talk to the others at all anyway, and so if they're mad, I don't care and won't hear about it anyway." You'll have to decide what happy medium you're comfortable with. Good luck!

misspx3

I had a post about this the other day. I looked it up on google and I found a nifty little website. http://www.wedalert.com/content/articles/address_invitations.asp

I needed to find a way to not invite my FBIL's MIL. They live together and she tagges along to EVERYTHING. However me and my FH don't believe that she is family and are still annoyed that she showed up un-invited to my baby shower.

sshahzeena when are you sending out your invites? Are you excited?

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_specify-number-of-guests-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8f27374c-1510-49b9-acfd-06f7b25dbddbPost:018c7d38-c94c-407d-aa9f-28c35d41aa63">Re: How to specify number of guests in the invitations</a>:
[QUOTE]What if you want to invite three sisters in the household? They are distant cousins but I do not talk to their parents or other siblings and iviting them to the wedding would be pointless because I'm not close to them. I have a friendship with the 3 girls but is it rude to not invite their parents and brothers? We want to keep our guest list short and only invite close family and friends and since I'm not close to their parents and brothers do I still have to invite them?
Posted by sshahzeena[/QUOTE]

If you think this is a good idea, just send them each their own invitation if they are all over the age of 18. If they are under the age of 18, you can include them all on one invitation.

To the previous poster: address the invitation to your FBIL and FSIL. If they RSVP for 3, call and explain you can only accomodate the two of them, but hopefully you can have all three over for dinner sometime, blah blah blah. That will make it clear that FBIL's MIL is NOT invited.

misspx3

previous Poster.

that is what we were planning on doing. We arnt really close to his brother anymore (family issues).So there is a chance that he wont want to come to the wedding anyway. They do have a son who id love to invite (he is 2 and my children are 3 and 1). They pretty much use this lady as a live-in nanny. Maybe that's why they bring her everywhere with them. 

Catwoman708

As others have said, address the invite only to those who are invited. 

If you are lucky enough to actaully have them RSVP, but they include additional guests, you can call them, and gently explain that unfortunately space/money are very limited, and we cannot accommodate additional guests. 

But some people still will not get it, and might show up with an extra guest in tow anyway.  And some people will RSVP that they will be there, then not show.  Hopefully they will cancel each other out, or you will have enough guests decline that an extra guest or two won't be a big issue.