How many dresses did you buy?

katiepoppy

NYT has an article about brides buying multiple dresses - more than they can wear in the ceremony. Did many of you buy "extra" dresses?  If so, why? I haven't begun the shopping process, and won't for a while.  I am just curious if there is a reason brides are buying more other than simple indecision - the consultants are pushy, the bridal industry is selling us more dresses, or?


http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/13/fashion/weddings/13FIELD.html?_r=1&ref=style

LesPaul

I shopped online because I couldn't find anything in-store.  I happened to love the first one I purchased, although I was ready to return and keep purchasing until I found the one I really wanted.  But no, I didn't purchase or wear more than one.

katiepoppy

But you would have been able to return the online one? The article talks about women who had to sell the dresses that they bought online.  Do most stores have a decent return policy?

crfische

I know with my dress, once I took it out of the store, deal was DONE. No returns.

Which is why I'm stuck with a very pretty dress from my first engagement in my closet. No takesies backsies.

tlv204

Only one, I also wouldn't have been able to return it.

katiepoppy

Thanks for the return info.  So why are women buying more than one if they can't return the first one? I certainly buy clothing knowing that I can return it, but if I couldn't return it and it wasn't on sale, I would keep shopping until I knew I was sure.  Do bridal stores do a big "if you buy it today, and ONLY today, you will get X discount"?

sucrets4

Duh, because it's their pretty princess day and because their daddy said they could have whatever they wanted!

I think people put too much stock in 'the dress'. 

Mine wasn't the absolute perfect dress of my dreams, but I didn't have the time or energy to shop for 'it'.  I also didn't want to spend a crapload of money.  I found a dress I liked and was the right price and stopped looking. 

You're going to wear it for ONE day.  Sure, pictures will last forever, but how often are you really going to look through them?  When I think of our wedding, I think of how awesome it was to marry DH in front of our family and friends, not how my dress wasn't perfect.

JK10910

I think a lot of brides buy early, or are pressured into a certain dress from friends/family/salespeople, whatever, and end up with dress regret.  I know I've seen a decent amount of for sale bios here saying "I"m a two dress bride!  Please buy my brand new dress I decided not to wear!"

Though some people also buy a simpler dress for the reception, and change after pictures.  I think the feeling there is the big, fancy wedding dresses are too hot/uncomfortable/heavy to wear all night, though someone can correct me if I'm wrong.

katiepoppy

Sucrets, of course they are pretty princesses!  The article just gives examples that astound me. One person buying 4 dresses for over $10,000 combined. If I was going to spend that much on a dress, I would want it to be on one very, very special pretty princess dress.

Thanks J&K. Dress regret must be bigger than I imagined.
And I get the whole ceremony/reception dresses. I think for some people that makes sense.

anna.oskar

I think long engagements are to blame.  I hear about a lot of girls buying a dress right after getting engaged because they can't contain their excitement and then after they've been influenced by the "wedding machine" for a while, they start doubting their original choice and then buy another dress.

JK10910

Anna, a girl I know tried on dresses and bought one the day after she got engaged.  Two weeks later they had broken up.  Now THAT is dress regret.  She also posted pictures of it all over Facebook. 

katiepoppy

Anna, how was the wedding? And good call about the long engagement.  I have seen a lot of people here remind brides to pick dresses and bridal parties when they are less than a year out.

anna.oskar

The wedding went well, no visible problems and the recption was a hit.  The live band was phenomenal and not only was my dad able to make the festivities, but he got out of his wheelchair and danced with me for about a minute.  I'm eagerly awaiting family pics to start popping up in my email box.  hopefuly by tonight.  No teasers for pro pics because she' anticipates having them all done within a week.


I'm off to Target to exchange some duplicate gifts, but I shall be around later.

mocha beans

It's all commericalism and the sense of "gotta have it NOW!!1!!11".  Girls get wrapped up in the industry created excitement of it all and lose all sense of reality I think.  Cause, ya know, it's your *special* day and it has to be perfect and the dress has to be perfect and if you buy it today you'll save 10%!  The salespeople are great at that type of thing, and the proliferation of choices is mind boggling.  I think that when women shopped for their dress 20 years ago, you'd go to a few local shops, pick through their racks, have maybe a few hundred choices maximum, find one you like and call it good.  Now, there's every dress designer's website and store websites and galleries on TK and such.  Now you've got tens of thousands of choices if you use the internet.  It's just overload, and people who are a bit indecisive or are prone to second guessing themselves will never be as happy as they think they should be, because there's so many options.

Personally, once I bought mine, I quit looking at dresses altogether.  No trolling websites, no more trips to the bridal shop (except for one trip, but they were all well out of my price range, it was for fun only).  I didn't give myself a chance to second guess my decision.  It's one dress, that gets worn for one day.  Whatver I wear will be pretty enough and we'll have a great time.  No way I'd want the guilt of spending half or more of the budget on dresses.

JK10910

Anna, that's so great about your dad!  Congrats

ThePinkSuperhero

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_many-dressed-did-buy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fb51265-fafc-4d32-93c4-03f0ed2a2a57Post:c6188ca4-908c-4552-b898-aa0fc63c7045">Re: How many dresses did you buy?</a>:
[QUOTE]Personally, once I bought mine, I quit looking at dresses altogether.  No trolling websites, no more trips to the bridal shop (except for one trip, but they were all well out of my price range, it was for fun only).  I didn't give myself a chance to second guess my decision.  It's one dress, that gets worn for one day.  Whatver I wear will be pretty enough and we'll have a great time.  No way I'd want the guilt of spending half or more of the budget on dresses.
Posted by mocha beans[/QUOTE]

Ditto!  I bought a dress early, and then I STOPPED LOOKING.  It seems a lot of the people who buy more than one dress do so because they refuse to just stop looking and be satisfied with the choice they made.

katiepoppy

Anna, glad everything went well! Wonderful about your dad. Looking forward to the pics next week. Enjoy Target (and good call doing the returns before Christmas!).

mwhitson14

Sucrets: ::points at your eyes, points at mine:: When I was dress buying, I first and foremost considered budget. My mom had decided to pay, and she didn't give me a limit, but I KNEW she didn't understand girls paying thousands for a dress. So when I put on that $99 Davids Bridal gown that was pretty, needed minimal alterations, and I liked, that was it. No more searching, no more ogling dress pics, etc. The biggest thing with buying a dress is stop looking after it's been bought. And don't buy super early.

thesuninherhead

Well, I am far from a pretty princess (in fact, I was probably one of the most relaxed brides you've ever seen- I was very chilled), but I had multiple dresses.

 

What happened was that I did a lot of searching at first looking for a vintage gown, and didn't find a thing. I then fell in love with a gown I saw online, but didn't really go and try on many new gowns in person at the time. They only made this gown for a season, and there were none left when I enquired (not to mention, their stores were only in the states) so I hired a dress maker to make it for me from the pictures, before I'd really tried on much else. It was a mistake on my behalf, made mostly because I ignored everyone here who said that you should try on a lot before you buy, as gowns never look the way you expect them to.

 

Dress maker began work, and I had my first fitting and really hated it. It didn't feel like 'me' at all. I didn't think that even with alterations it would feel at all like me- it was cute and pretty, but it didn't suit me at all. I put a hold to further work on it (I've still got it and it still doesn't fit quite right, but I didn't want to spend any extra on it given I was so unsure about it), and went out trying gowns.

 

I then ordered a gown and paid a $700 deposit. Said gown never arrived thanks to crazy dress shop owner not placing the order on time (still trying to recover my deposit on that- it's a long story). 

 

I didn't find out about the issues with the ordering of the gown until a couple of weeks before the wedding, which resulted in me having to race out 10 days before the wedding and go dress shopping all over again. In the end, I got the beautiful vintage gown that I'd wanted all along but hadn't found, which fit me perfectly.

 

So, I fully acknowledge that it is highly ridiculous that I spent money on 3 separate gowns, and I also own the fact that the first one was a mistake made because I really hadn't tried on much and didn't realise that the idea of what I wanted in my head was not going to match with what suited me. The second one I would have worn had it arrived, and ultimately though I was really happy with the amazing vintage gown I did end up wearing. I still can't believe I effectively spent money on 3 dresses for my wedding, though (albeit not by choice!).

Goldlie11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_many-dressed-did-buy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fb51265-fafc-4d32-93c4-03f0ed2a2a57Post:099c5df3-750d-43f3-ac6c-bacec85cfee6">Re: How many dresses did you buy?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think long engagements are to blame.  I hear about a lot of girls buying a dress right after getting engaged because they can't contain their excitement and then after they've been influenced by the "wedding machine" for a while, they start doubting their original choice and then buy another dress.
Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]
This could be true, but not in all cases.  I'm having a long engagement.  I'm not going to start dress shopping until about 6 months before the wedding, no earlier.<div>
</div><div>To answer the OP, I may buy a different dress for the reception.  I have not decided yet.  It's too far away to tell.  </div>

katiepoppy

Sun - I had heard the part about the ordered dress not working and you getting a last minute (amazing) dress. I did not realize that there was a first dress. How terrible! I think your case is different because you were getting a gown made.  The article references women that bought dresses that they did/could have tried on and then didn't want. I just thought it was interesting that they had this "regret".

Goldie - I don't have any objection to two different dresses for cermony and reception. I think it can be a smart choice to make the day the most enjoyable. These women were buying dresses that they would never wear at all to their wedding!

LarissaAnn

One.  Loved it and no way would I have taken it off to change!

ocprincess

I've seen several reasons.

1) Dress regret.

2) Wanting a dress that is too bare for the chosen house of worship, so they wear a more modest dress and then change.

3) Those who want to wear a more ethnic dress for the ceremony and then the western white gown for the dancing.

4) Wanting an amazing dress for the ceremony and then not being comfortable in it.