Wedding Etiquette Forum

Difficult Future In Law

Starting the day we announced our engagement, my FI's father's 2nd wife, has tried to make our wedding day about her.

When we were discussing spring dates, she wanted us to celebrate her birthday. Now that it is in the winter, she wants us to recognize her father's birthday. Who by the way is no relation to either my FI or I. She doesn't approve of one of the stores I am dress shopping at because she had a bad experience, 18 years ago. She is not happy with the type of music we are planning, and is requesting that we change our play list ideas. She thinks the colors she used for her wedding would be perfect for ours too. She knows exactly where we should get our cake because it is cheaper than a traditional bakery. If someone asks us a question about the wedding, she cannot let us answer, but goes on about her wedding and what she would do in our shoes.

I appreciate that everyone will have opinions, but I am not sure I can handle 10 more months of hearing her drone on and on about what she thinks, what she wants, and what she would do.

Is it inappropriate to ask my FI to have a conversation with his father to see if he can minimize some of the commentary? I am pretty laid back about most things regarding the wedding so far, but I will surely freak out if she attempts to draw attention from what my FI and I have planned for our day.

Ironically, my FI's mother has been a dream in the process and was surprised when I asked if there were any people important in her life that she would like to invite. These 2 woman could not be more different!

Re: Difficult Future In Law

  • no



    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_difficult-future-in-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:901868f0-42c3-4c28-b315-47de7df59b45Post:e0181976-95a6-4ef7-969b-0b354bd24e7b">Re: Difficult Future In Law</a>:
    [QUOTE]Are they helping to pay for the wedding?  This will determine my answer.
    Posted by 1covejack[/QUOTE]
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_difficult-future-in-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:901868f0-42c3-4c28-b315-47de7df59b45Post:038ddc02-20eb-4245-bcc9-1b16852c070a">Re: Difficult Future In Law</a>:
    [QUOTE]OK perfect.  <strong>Then just stop sharing wedding plans with her</strong>.  Keep as vague as you can, when she suggests something just say "thanks for you interest, but we've got it handled".  Repeat often.  Good luck, sounds really annoying.
    Posted by 1covejack[/QUOTE]

    I absolutely agree! Maybe she'll get the message. If not, I would 100% ask my FI to say something either to her or his dad.
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  • Yep. She can't critique things she doesn't know about. Yeah she can keep offering opinions but PP have given good advice on how to shut her down. You can choose the conversations you partake in, ya know.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_difficult-future-in-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:901868f0-42c3-4c28-b315-47de7df59b45Post:038ddc02-20eb-4245-bcc9-1b16852c070a">Re: Difficult Future In Law</a>:
    [QUOTE]OK perfect.  Then just stop sharing wedding plans with her.  Keep as vague as you can, when she suggests something just say "thanks for you interest, but we've got it handled".  Repeat often.  Good luck, sounds really annoying.
    Posted by 1covejack[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Exactly.

    </div>
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