When to do with non responders

jquesto

I am sure there is a post somewhere, but can't find it...

How do I contact people who haven't responded by the RSVP deadline?

Is is it rude to casually FaceBook people now? (RSVP deadline 8/18)

What do I say?

Venue needs to know by 8/25 for our 9/18 wedding since we have 260+ people coming. We pay per head, and there's no way I am paying for maybes/lazy/forgetful people who can't RSVP on time!

Thanks knotties

As of today, 291 invited, 160 yes, 19 declines, 111 can't figure out how to put a card in the mail.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

You need to wait until the RSVP date has passed. Some people will probably send the response ON the 18th. People here have said that they ususlly get a bunch or RSVPs right away, a bunch around the deadline, and a few in the middle. 

I'd wait until the 20th or so and then start calling those who have not RSVPed.

PharmacyBride

I say it is okay to FB message people in your age group who regularly use FB.  Call the others.  I would start 3-4 days after the date to account for delay in the mail.

Keep in mind: FB will make your wedding appear more casual.  Not everyone goes on FB regularly.  Not everyone uses their main email for their FB account- so they won't see the email alert.

IMO, phone calls are best and I think FB is a lazy solution.  But that just means I won't use it for my wedding.  It is up to you how you want to handle your own RSVPs.

Calumet

You should call people. Your FI and families can (and should!) help. Do not do it until AFTER the deadline. Probably a couple of days after because people will mail the RSVPs the day it is due.

If you try to get in touch with people (2 or 3 times at least) and still fail to get a response, it is then appropriate to leave a message along the lines of "I have to give final numbers to the caterer by X date, I really want you to share the celebration with us, but if I don't hear from you I will assume that you aren't going to make it, and you will be missed." 

andy71781

I feel your pain - it was so hard to wait until the deadline to start bugging people - but its kinda rude to do so.

Do you really need to have your count by then?  Personally that seems like a crazy early time to have your final count.  In 6 days you are going to have to call/fb/text a lot of people.  I got a week extension just by asking nicely.

katiewhompus

I already responded in your duplicate post so I'll give you the short version.

You would be stepping on toes if you start bugging people before the deadline that you set. After the 18th you can start contacting people.

DLuchner

isn't it the worst having so many non responders?  my rsvp date was aug 6th and the wedding is the 20th so my wedding planners were already cutting it majorly close for me and i wanted to know way ahead of time!  we had about 75 maybe's/non responders so i msg'd people on facebook that i was friends with and who wouldn't give a thought to if it was rude or not like a young cousin, ect.  otherwise my FMIL took her list of people and contacted the rest.  it's true that you will get alot the day of the due date and after, and alot of people will call you the day after and tell you they just found their rsvp card and forgot to mail it, ect.  good luck!  it's SO hard to plan when this happens, trust me i know!!

JanoBean75

FI is the one freaking out about people not replying. He wants to know NOW who's coming. Our guest list isn't huge, and some of the non-responders we know ARE coming, they're just deciding on their food. Our deadline isn't for another week and a half, so I'm not too worried. Two weeks from today, we'll start the calling process.

tricia619

I am having a similar problem, his sister openingly said she wasn't sending a RSVP, we should just assume she would be there. My FI was furious and had a few words with her about it. My FI is wanting the the same thing as yours, he wanted me to put the RSVP date 2 weeks after we mailed them, lol!! But I definately think you need to wait until the deadline to ask anyone. Good luck with the wedding planning, and thanks for posting this, because I needed some clarification as well.