hey again...so, we are paying for our own wedding and really have no feelings one way or another about it. we knew that neither of our parents were financially able to make the big day happen on their own, and we really wanted them to not feel pressured and just enjoy the day.
my mom offered and paid for my wedding dress, which while it was a small portion of the overall expenses was huge for her, and it really meant so much.
my dad offered to help pay for photograpy way back when we got engaged almost a year ago. he never mentioned it again, and i wasnt sure how to bring it up, so we moved on with planning. since then, i have heard that he has made comments that i need to lower my expectations and not pick things so expensive (not to me, but to my mom he said this). well, we are paying for everything so we planned for picked the things we wanted and the vendors we wanted - i think i would have been a bit more sensitive if my dad was paying for the items to stick within a budget that he allotted, but i never heard anything else from him and he knew we were picking photogs and everything else.
so - would you bring it up again? "hey dad, i know you mentioned you had wanted to help with the photography..." OR "hey dad, i know you had mentioned wanting to help when we got engaged, anything that you are comfortable doing would be so appreciated by us" OR just leave it - if he wanted to help he would have.
i dont want him to feel like im asking b/c we need the money or are pressuring him to give. i just find it odd that someone would offer help and then never mention it again, but complain about things i am planning and paying for on my own. maybe he feels bad that he wasnt able to do more or what he wanted to do initially for us? or he has decided he just doesnt want to do it and would rather use that money elsewhere, he has been taking lots of trips lately